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AIBU

AIBU to find my daughters in-laws rude

(129 Posts)
Grandmagrim Thu 02-Sep-21 10:55:29

My daughter, her husband and 4 children have had to move in with me and my husband. With compromise on both sides regarding space and privacy. My irritation comes from SIL’s parents marching in and through my home to see their son or the grandchildren with out so much as knocking or asking if it is ok. I find it rude and wouldn’t dream of treating their home in the same way.

Grannmarie Fri 10-Sep-21 14:00:33

Grandmagrim flowers
You are a very caring and accommodating mother and grandmother, just remember, this too shall pass.

Franbern Sat 11-Sep-21 11:25:38

In 1976 moved into a house in a very nice part of East London. Within weeks we had lost (put away carefully - who knows) the keys to the kitchen door. This could be easily accessed via a path up the side of the house. Gate there was kept closed (to protect dog from getting out), but never had a lock on it.

As the years progresses, I really enjoyed that open door. Friends calling round, would go round the back if I did not answer the front door, and I would often arrive back from shopping, dropping off/collecting children to find a friend or two happily making coffee in my kitchen.

On the occasions I went out without my keys, knew I could always get back into the house without any hassle. As children grew into teenagers, was easier to tell them to enter that way rather than give them keys, which they always lost.

Never had any problem with this - moved out in 2003. My next house was a terrace - in a quiet cul-de-sac. Must admit to the number of times I would go to bed leaving the front door 'on the catch', and the windows of my car wide open on my front drive.

Live in a flat now, very secure - but, often, during the day, leave the front door here on the catch, as I pop in and out around the flats, etc. My daughter who lives close by, has keys to get into flats and my own front door, often turns up unannouced, with a child or two in tow - as she comes through my front door, she always gives a slight knock just to warn me she is coming in.

EMMF1948 Thu 16-Sep-21 10:52:31

Grandmabatty

So your son in law's parents are using your house as if it was theirs? I would not be happy about that. However does your dd and family see this as a permanent move? In which case you need to have a chat with dd and sil about boundaries and what would be acceptable. Have you spoken to sil to ask why they are doing this?

It's irrelevant whether it's their permanent home or not, no-one should enter another person's home without knocking and waiting to be invited in and I include family in this.