People who talk about themselves all the time

Ive known a few like this, over the years.?

It really does depend on what is driving the talkativeness and why it can be so repetitive. I am noticing more and more how certain friends are telling me the same things over and over again about themselves. I assume this is a sign of decline and/or a life which is becoming narrower so I have some sympathy however frustrating it is to have to listen.

A work colleague is a conversational narcissist, no question. Different kettle of fish altogether. Not a shred of interest in anyone other than herself. She cannot bear not to be the centre of attention or to see others having a conversation that does not involve her. She will cross a room, hover then physically insert herself between two people and start talking about herself.

Nowadays, I just shrug, walk away and hope I can pick up the interrupted conversation with the other person when she’s not around. What she does is rude but there’s no point tackling her about it as she is also histrionic. I’ve seen her in meltdown when things don’t happen as she wants. Sometimes you have to work around difficult people.

I agree Maturefloosy about the age factor. Advice to pensioners; if anyone asks you how you are, don't tell them. They don't want a list of your ailments or your medication. Keep the conversation light and amusing, if you can.
Always remember that it is a great bonus to reach old age and welcome every day with joyful anticipation if you can.

I meet a lady while I'm out walking my dog who is like this, she bores me to tears. She's always right and drones on and on. I try crossing the road when I see her and she crosses over then to me, tell her I'm a hurry she doesn't care so I now I'm ducking behind hedges or changing direction if I spy her in the distance. She has a husband and family so it's not that she doesn't see anyone, but her conversation is all one way, all about her, and I can't be bothered anymore.

I have friends and a neighbour like this they ask a question and when you start to answer they turn the topic to themselves.
I think it is a sign of insecurity in themselves under all the bravado. They want your approval of their actions or feelings but put it in a positive way and don't give you the chance to disaprove or discuse.
I worked with someone who always put high heeled shoes and lipstick on when going into meetings. She dominated the discussions with her ideas most of which got approved because no one had really listened. Then they would all backlash on her and she seemed oblivious to it. Her other trick was to give everyone a short say pick up the good ideas and go off on a rant as if the ideas were hers. She's onto her third husband now and goodness knows how many partners so obviously they are not listening to her and have had to go.

I laugh at myself for my dodging tactics - avoiding the hours they are about or sitting in the car pretending to text! What a life! It must be awful tied to a dog lead.

Another thing I used to dislike is the continent/country boaster who tells you in detail about all the countries and cities they have visited and you just have to listen and hear stuff about places you often know more about anyway. I used to go quiet and just let them drone on and mostly they didn’t even notice. One was doing this and mentioned a place we actually used to live which was quite funny. Now we are older it doesn’t happen so much because everyone we know has travelled a lot anyway, often together.

I had a best friend that I had lost touch with for many years.
We went on a night out and she just talked and talked. After a while, she stopped and asked about me. I told her that I had had a (quite) serious illness and tried to tell her about it. I didn’t get very far into my story before she began telling me (at great length), about someone she knew that had the same thing.
I never got to finish my story.
This happened so much over many meet-ups, that I realised she really didn’t want to know about me whereas I knew everything about her.
We used to be such good friends,too.
Haven’t seen her for a while now.
Still feel a bit sad about it.

Have you considered that whilst they are talking about themselves they are not talking about other people.

This thread actually makes me feel relieved that I don’t have any friends or neighbours like this. My neighbours say Hello but never get into conversation, though one lot did do bits of shopping for us during the first lockdown, but not a word since. I have realised I don’t have any friends, just acquaintances, so it is just a few words eg after choir practice. I have four people I thought were friends who I used to meet up with separately but not any more, it seems, thanks to Covid perhaps.
I think on reflection it is better this way than having to put up with so much selfcentredness,

Interesting story Calli I didn’t know goldfish leapt out of the bowl
Anyway more about me …

Boz

I agree Maturefloosy about the age factor. Advice to pensioners; if anyone asks you how you are, don't tell them. They don't want a list of your ailments or your medication. Keep the conversation light and amusing, if you can.
Always remember that it is a great bonus to reach old age and welcome every day with joyful anticipation if you can.

Good advice Boz

I worked opposite a colleague for about four years. She was a lovely person but seemed quite lonely in her marriage. Because of this, I was happy to listen to her moaning about her husband, her sick mother etc. I learned lots of things about her and her extended family.

I don't think she even knew the names of my children, or even how many children I had. I don't recall her ever asking. I probably told her but I think it went in one ear and out of the other.

Maybe it is just me but I always try to remember what someone has told me previously e.g. new job, illness etc and ask about it when I see them.

I read in some psychology magazine that if you are shy just ask people about themselves. Everyone loves to talk about themselves and it make the other person feel more positive you.

I think the mindless droning has become worse because of all the Covid lockdowns. I WFH and don't especially miss the chatterboxes in the office.

* makes the other person feel more positive towards you. Sorry

I’m afraid that I tend to be the sort of person the poster despairs of. Since becoming aware of this (my daughter exclaiming in exasperation “it’s not all about you mum!” ) I’ve tried to listen more and not to steer the conversation back to myself. It’s hard to change the habits of a lifetime and as my mother was like this it goes back a long way….. you become like your mother, although I’m actively trying not to. The most annoying thing is that I am genuinely interested in other people and their lives, so it’s me who’s missing out!

Sometimes I catch myself doing this. I quickly ask how things are with them. Its being self aware.

Alioop
If you see her coming get your phone out and be having an imaginary conversation.

Dylant
How honest of you to admit that. ? I wish my ex friends daughter would tell her.

I have a friend who asks how I am, and then tops any reply with how she is, better/worse, if I tell her good news, she always has a “downer” ready. I’ve now got to the point that I’m bracing myself to see her because I know what will happen. Friendship? Hardly.

We have one lady in our group who goes on endlessly about he relatively minor ailments. She told us that we couldn’t possibly understand as we are all so healthy. Unfortunately that simply isn’t true and she will never know because if anyone else mentions a health issue she launches into another speech about her own problems. We try to be sympathetic, but it’s wearing a bit thin now.

You Missadventure have the patience of a saint, I can't imagine the stress of being stalked in my own home. Sorry you have been poorly, and hope you feel better, especially after reading this thread!

And people who, whatever's going on with you, always know someone who have it (whatever it is) a million times worse!

in the past, i used to have lots of people who did all the talking and taking! I took a hard look at myself and the people i was catering to! i decided to gain a balance and see what happened.I have lost 6 so called friends, over the past 5 years.I now have fewer friends, but there is a balance of concern for each other.
in everday times.obviously there is give and take when trouble strikes.
As the taoists would say, balance......

In my experience people who do this are usually very lonely . They can be living alone, with no-one to talk to on a daily basis.

The other type who are guilty of it are the elderly who have health issues that take up their time and interest and make interacting with others harder than it formerly was.

How many of you have ever told these "friends" how self-centered their behaviour is, and how annoying or hurtful you find it?

Not many, I would think, I am sure you are all too polite to have done so. However, I was, once I had swallowed my hurt pride, grateful to a friend who many years ago told me I talked about myself in company without asking others anything about their lives.

I hope and believe that since that hint, I have remembered to ask others how they are and really listen to their replies, Perhaps we should be less hesitant to remind the "me - me- me" group that conversation is a two way street.

we all know people like this,it can be irritating