People who talk about themselves all the time

I know lots like this (you don't notice it if the anecdotes are not well known to you, and they play verbal tennis OK). The good thing about even the worst bores is that they expect nothing more than a smile and nod from you...

Oh I know only too many of them unfortunately my Husband is one of them as long as he is the centre of attention that’s fine until somebody else tries to get a look in he then tries to hurry the person along so that he can continue about HIMSELF no wonder my hair has turned white frustration is a word I would use in daily context

ninathenana

I have a friend like this.
She will ask about you and when you answer she will state some platitude and turn it back to her.
DH and DD ask why I'm still friends with her. She has a heart of gold

I have a friend exactly like this and she is kind and generous to a fault but always talks about herself and is not really interested in my point of view unless it is about her. She is writing her autobiography and is expecting me to be a proof reader. She is actually very good at writing but so far l have only managed three chapters. She has taken early retirement but I am still working and want to read for relaxation so prefer to make my own choice of reading.

I had a friend like that - someone I thought I was really close to. When she was going through a really painful divorce I spent hours listening to her trying my best to help (I had a baby and two small children at the time) I was happy to do anything I could because I thought we were real friends. When I was in the same predicament some years later I was very low and did contact her for support. When she answered the phone she didn't even ask how I was but launched into the latest dramas in her life. After a pause I explained why I was calling and she dismissed my problems with 'I know how that feels. It's nasty.' There was an awkward silence and I said I was sorry and that I didn't mean to call with my problems to which she replied coldly 'Oh, I think you did!' I was heartbroken but finally realised that, despite all her cooing about our friendship all I was to her was a pair of ears.

I know a few people like this - as much as they are good friends it does get a bit boring sometimes

Unfortunately I think about 80 %of people are like this .....so one sided ...I have few friends now but I'm happy

I have written earlier today but must let off steam.I have been away for three weeks on holiday, and met my neighbours a few minutes ago they didnt mention anything about my holiday, not a word but full steam ahead about their recent trip, what IS the matter with people.
Such self centred people around,it amazes me.
Sorry for the rant

crazygranny that's awful! I hope you found some help and support elsewhere.

I’ve been doing a bit of housework this morning so giving this matter quite a bit of thought.
One friend, a widow of five years, I’ve given so much support and care having learned from other widows on Gransnet how difficult Sundays are and how important a proper invitation is rather than a casual ‘call in any time’. Anyway I rang her a few weeks ago, as I do weekly, when our beautiful daughter-in-law had been told she has breast cancer. The friend banged on about her house sale problems. I then said we’d had some bad news, told her about B, and her answer was ‘oh gosh that’s awful, we’ve had some bad news too, son and his wife are splitting up’. The conversation was all about that while I stood in the kitchen with tears streaming down my face. Eventually she stopped talking, I said ‘sorry must go’ and put the phone down.
A few hours later another friend phoned, I told her our awful news, she then proceeded to tell me all about a 75 year old friend going through the same thing. B is 39. It’s not the same. She didn’t pause for breath and changed the subject, ‘must go’ cheerio.
I came on to Gransnet good morning thread and told our bad news. The outpouring of sympathy and kindness was amazing, personal messages and one particular wonderful mum shared her own story of her daughter at a similar age. She has then followed that up with tips and support and so much care.
It got me thinking about just how many have said the same on this thread, what is the difference between people on Gransnet and many in ‘real life’.
I’ve concluded that the majority on here are real life’s listeners and supporters. We come on here to be able to share our problems and our joys, be listened to, to get a word in.
For that I thank you. What a lovely lot on here.
Ooh I’ve got all soppy now. Back to flippant me.

I would never have a friend like this as I swerve anyone with this trait. However, if I ever get talking randomly to someone, they always seem to want to tell me their life story. I wish I had the courage to just say “bored now” and walk away.

for all of you who’ve been ignored

I have to say that I know a few like that who I nowadays avoid like the plague. The worst is my sister in law who also posts photos of herself on Facebook every day. Once she followed another family member to the bathroom and continued to take at her through the door.

Garnet I hope you meant ‘talk’ and not ‘take’ as in photos from the bathroom for face book

LauraNorder Yes I did , anyway she only takes selfies!

grandtanteJE65

In my experience people who do this are usually very lonely . They can be living alone, with no-one to talk to on a daily basis.

The other type who are guilty of it are the elderly who have health issues that take up their time and interest and make interacting with others harder than it formerly was.

How many of you have ever told these "friends" how self-centered their behaviour is, and how annoying or hurtful you find it?

Not many, I would think, I am sure you are all too polite to have done so. However, I was, once I had swallowed my hurt pride, grateful to a friend who many years ago told me I talked about myself in company without asking others anything about their lives.

I hope and believe that since that hint, I have remembered to ask others how they are and really listen to their replies, Perhaps we should be less hesitant to remind the "me - me- me" group that conversation is a two way street.

I agree.

LauraNorder That is shocking to hear about. I’m glad you got better treatment on Gransnet.

I think it is perhaps people who have little control in their lives, and it stems from anxiety about what they think they can keep a hold on.
It genuinely stresses my neighbour if she doesnt know where I am or what I'm doing.

Then, once she knows, it's back to her controlling the conversation.
She never used to be like this; it is since she gave up work because of health issues, although she rarely speaks about those.

We have a neighbour like this, he has to know everything and be the centre of everything. Every conversation is dominated by him and what he has done, gone through. A friend who was undergoing treatment for cancer was telling another friend about this and he turned the conversation around to when he didn't feel well, she pointed out that his illness wasn't remotely as serious as cancer and it didn't even register with him. He is so self obsessed and full of his own importance.

When my DD was little, she had a goldfish that disappeared from its tank on top of a chest of drawers in her bedroom. Couldn't find it anywhere until she opened the top drawer and there among her pants was a stiff goldfish.
I guess this makes me one of 'them'...... Sorry.

The chat we have is more along the lines of "so, I opened the cupboard and got their food out. "Come on you fishes!" I said, and up they came going (insert fish mouth actions) I dropped a pinch in and said "There you go, you greedy things" and they did. They swam around for a little while and then up they came. Then they all swam off..... and I said "yes you greedy things, you like that, don't you?" ZZZZZZZZZZ.....

I read once that those who speak continuously without giving anyone else a chance to say a word are trying to fill the conversational space because they have something to hide or that they are ashamed of and do not want to be discovered.

I know two people who never pause for breath and they both have guilty 'issues'.

My DH have “friends.” I’d call them aquaintances but they were his friends long before we met and I’ve inherited them so to speak. The woman is pushy, opinionated, loud, talks about herself a lot, tries to tell me what to do and what I should be interested in, doesn’t like it if she is not the centre of attention, talks about her family but never asks about mine and looks at me like I’m something the cat has brought in.
If I offer up a view it is poo pooed. She has criticised my dress, my figure, you name it in a sly, underhand way. I’ve decided since Covid and lockdown that the stress of seeing them has been lifted so I’m not going to see her or invite her again. DH agrees and doesn’t want to see them either but feels loyal to his male friend and not sure what to do. I just say now that if he wants to visit them fair enough but I’m just not coming anymore. AIBU?

DH “has” friends not “have.”

When covid started I began a list of folk for me to make I kept in touch with especially folk on their own. . .keep it in my Bible “my list of Coronials “.
Few of them have contacted me to see how we are!

Jezra I once had friend who behaved like the person you were talking about. I realised almost too late that she was constantly digging at me and saying, what I realised in retrospect, were really nasty things, always with a smile and in front of others. Once I realised what was happening I just dumped her. I gather from others that she can't think why!