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AIBU

AIBU - to feel bereft

(31 Posts)
Mammar59 Sat 09-Oct-21 18:43:38

I'm full of cold at the moment. It has been particularly full on. Not covid as I have tested twice. Today I made a pan of Chicken and Vegetable broth. I also took out some steak from the freezer for dinner and told my husband and daughter. We normally eat around 7pm to 8pm. Well I went for a lie down at 3:30 pm saying I'll be about an hour. I awake at 5pm to smell tea cooking. Go into the kitchen. Husband is taking dinner out of the oven. Crispy coated chicken! He says, 'I've cooked this for us two as we didn't know if you would sleep on. We thought you would have the rest of your soup'. I said 'You both knew I got the steak out and we don't normally eat this early'. The answer was, 'Well daughter wanted to go home early'. She has a flat nearby but eats with us for convenience and to save money.
So why do I feel upset and bereft. Probably because when I am well I do all the cooking. I feel like I have had a premonition of what life could be without me around. It has quite affected me.

lemongrove Sat 09-Oct-21 18:52:52

I can’t see a problem, your husband let you sleep as long as you wanted and cooked something for him and your DD.
You can have the steak on Sunday.
So yes, you are being unreasonable.
Hope you feel better soon.

Blossoming Sat 09-Oct-21 18:55:48

I’m so sorry, it does seem rather thoughtless, probably made worse by being poorly. They may have meant to be kind by letting you rest. I hope you enjoy the steak tomorrow, chicken and vegetable broth is my go to when I’m recovering flowers

Baggs Sat 09-Oct-21 19:00:10

Your feelings are natural but the steak will be fine tomorrow 🥩🥩

PollyTickle Sat 09-Oct-21 19:06:47

Hope you feel better soon. You’ll probably enjoy the steak all the more tomorrow. Is he cooking tomorrow too?

Mammar59 Sat 09-Oct-21 19:14:21

Thank you. I appreciate your feedback. I guess the illness has made me feel vulnerable.

JaneJudge Sat 09-Oct-21 19:16:52

I'm sorry you feel so poorly sad it's rubbish xx

Mammar59 Sat 09-Oct-21 19:19:49

Mammar59

Thank you. I appreciate your feedback. I guess the illness has made me feel vulnerable.

No, I will be cooking and they left me the washing up. SonI am needed after all 😂😂

Mammar59 Sat 09-Oct-21 19:21:23

PollyTickle

Hope you feel better soon. You’ll probably enjoy the steak all the more tomorrow. Is he cooking tomorrow too?

The above comment was meant for you. I guess I will get used too this ☺️

MamaCaz Sat 09-Oct-21 19:33:53

I would have been put out too.

You have a bad cold, but that doesn't mean you don't still want to eat, and I think they were rather thoughtless.

Kim19 Sat 09-Oct-21 20:02:02

I hope you 'continued' to leave the washing up. I see that as the unforgivable part.

Mammar59 Sat 09-Oct-21 20:04:13

MamaCaz

I would have been put out too.

You have a bad cold, but that doesn't mean you don't still want to eat, and I think they were rather thoughtless.

Thank you. I do think they were thoughtless but my feelings were probably exaggerated too. Putting it on here has put those feelings to bed. The pots are still waiting though 😂😂

VioletSky Sat 09-Oct-21 20:12:34

I would have sided with them if they hadn't left you with the washing up to do... That's wrong

Smileless2012 Sat 09-Oct-21 20:16:15

I really hate colds. They make you feel totally crap don't they Mammar and I know if I'm feeling unwell, it's as if all of my sensitivity is on the outside of my body.

Yes they were thoughtless and TBH it's the sort of thing Mr. S. could do without realising how it would make me feel. Now as for the dirty dishes, leave them until the morning and tell your H that you're just not up to seeing to them, so he'll have too.

flowersget well soon.

nadateturbe Sat 09-Oct-21 20:16:58

A bit thoughtless yes, and you're not feeling well so need some tlc.
I would not do the dishes. What a cheek!

merlotgran Sat 09-Oct-21 20:20:47

I’d have gone straight back to bed and left the washing up in the sink.

Gwenisgreat1 Sat 09-Oct-21 20:24:42

WOW! I would love my DH to do some cooking!! I even have a job getting him to go to the chippie!! Think he's been twice in the 6 years we have been in this house!
Just don't knock it!

glammanana Sat 09-Oct-21 20:24:47

Chicken soup has that magical touch when you feel poorly doesn't it I hope you are feeling better for it, I am sure you would have felt better if your daughter thought to do the pots and pans before she went home.hmm

ayse Sat 09-Oct-21 20:32:03

I wouldn’t ever want my DH to cook dinner. He can’t cook at all, at least not what I’m happy eating.

At least they didn’t expect you to get up and cook. I’d be leaving the dishes for DH to do, as well. Colds make me very grumpy so I go and rest (vegetate) in bed. DH usually manages to make me hot drinks though.

Hope you are feeling better very soon.

mokryna Sat 09-Oct-21 20:37:51

Poor you, very mean of them. I think I would have sat down with them and suggested that it be divide up into three portions, bulked up with bread on the side if necessary or followed by bread and cheese or a dessert.
Stay in bed tomorrow until you really feel better only to get up for meals and no clearing up, they can do that. Take care.

Nonogran Sat 09-Oct-21 20:46:39

If I go to bed unwell I am lucky if my chap even checks on me! I could turn into a skeleton in our bed if feeding me was left to him.
However, I have had a meaningful chat with him & explained that a glass of juice beside the bed & a sandwich covered in cling film to devour when I wake/sleep/wake etc is very welcome. Just because I take to my bed doesn’t mean I’ve lost my appetite!
He’s taken my concerns on board and is much better at feeding my cold & starving the fever now!
Get well soon Mammar59.

Callistemon Sat 09-Oct-21 20:55:47

Kim19

I hope you 'continued' to leave the washing up. I see that as the unforgivable part.

Me too!

Chicken broth is supposed to be the antibiotic and that's probably all I would feel like if I was ill.

I hope you found a clean bowl and left the washing up.

Daisend1 Sat 09-Oct-21 21:00:49

You were not feeling well and do not believe it unreasonable if H did not want to disturb you but he could have plated one for you ready for when you felt like eating.What would have made me annoyed was D not suggesting this to him.

62Granny Sat 09-Oct-21 21:13:18

merlotgran

I’d have gone straight back to bed and left the washing up in the sink.

I would definitely have gone back to bed, even if it meant cutting off my nose to spite my face.
Not unreasonable at all but they are very inconsiderate towards you😥
You normally cook for your obviously grown up daughter so she can save money yet she is too precious to wash up!!
I would blow my top.

eazybee Sat 09-Oct-21 21:29:07

Not unreasonable in cooking food, but leaving you the washing up?
Unforgiveable.
Stay in bed all day tomorrow, seriously.