Scotish midwifery to ban The word “Mother”

Alegrias1

Ooh - just an observation, made with no prejudice.

When paddyann54 SHOUTS she gets told off

When Elegran SHOUTS, her posts get praised.

How strange.

Was that aimed at me? I hadn’t seen any other posts after my own, I’ve been travelling and then caring for my GC since this morning and not had time to look at GN.

It’s pretty well-understood, amongst other groups I’m on that, that using capital letters is bad manners and I almost never see it on there. Using bold or italics is the acceptable way to prove emphasis.

It really was just an observation SueDonim, not aimed at anybody. The observation was that when some posters use capitals they are accused of shouting, while others do exactly the same and nobody bats an eyelid.

It was aimed at me, SueDonim. I used four separate words in capital letters, scattered about my post at Thu 28-Oct-21 14:28:44, to emphasise them.

My reply to Alegrias was that occasional words in capitals are being emphasised, but a whole sentence in capitals is a shout. A whole post (or one mostly in capitals) is an even louder shout.

I agree Elegran
In fact, I have NEVER known you to shout. It is obvious that there is a difference between using capitals to emphasise one word and typing whole sentences or even whole posts in capital letters which are directed at other posters.

It just comes across as an angry rant, unfortunately, so any salient or interesting points might be missed.

NanKate

Doodledog I agree with every sensible word you say.

I am awarding you this trophy for *Woman of the Year who talks straight, insults no one and is the voice of reason’ ?

That is very kind, NanKate, thank you ☺️

Elegran

It was aimed at me, SueDonim. I used four separate words in capital letters, scattered about my post at Thu 28-Oct-21 14:28:44, to emphasise them.

My reply to Alegrias was that occasional words in capitals are being emphasised, but a whole sentence in capitals is a shout. A whole post (or one mostly in capitals) is an even louder shout.

No Elegran it was not aimed at you. Subtlety is getting me nowhere so I'll be a bit more blunt.

Some posters are considered a bit angry, a bit in your face. Say, for instance , paddyann or even me so when those posters use capitals for selected words, like paddyann did today, the first reaction is that they're shouting.

Some posters are considered wise and sensible, like you Elegran. So when they do the exact same thing, using capitals for selected words, they are assumed to be emphasising things.

In the people who make these assumptions, we are witnessing some kind of subconscious reaction to what they think the posters mean. I'm sure psychologists could have a field day.

Not aimed at anybody, an observation. Although I am absolutely sure somebody will take offence at this post.

With the advent of the Internet, typing messages in all caps commonly became closely identified with "shouting" or attention-seeking behavior, and may be considered rude. Its equivalence to shouting traces back to at least 1984 and before the Internet, back to printed typography usage of all capitals to mean shouting.

For this reason, etiquette generally discourages the use of all caps when posting messages online. While all caps can be used as an alternative to rich-text "bolding" for a single word or phrase, to express emphasis, repeated use of all caps can be considered "shouting" or irritating.

?

I'm not taking offence in the slightest but some people may not realise just how offputting whole posts written in capitals can be.

One tends not to take in the content either so it is counter-productive.

Going back to the reason for the thread.My very good friends are pregnant ,they are both women who have been in a long term relationship for years.Some on here may recall me telling about them working for the C of Scotland for years but they couldn't marry in that church even though it was happy to accept their unpaid work . The agreement between them is that the one who is pregnant will return to work after 2 weeks and the other will assume the stay at home parent role.Sadly she'll have to jump through hoops to show that she is entitled to maternity pay but as the lower earner it makes financial sense .THATS ( sorry if my capitals offend) the people the bill is designed to take the pressure off She will be the primary carer so should be able to claim the benefit .In my and their opinions.I'm sure there are many others in similar circumstances .I'm sure an awful lot wont agree that the benefit should be transferable .
"Alegrias" I've never been flavour of the month with a fair few posters.My opinions are the polar opposite of theirs in most instances.I am quite capable of standing up to them...some of the SHOUTING is done to wind them up....lol

I am not uptodate about the situation in Scotland so I havent particularly commented on it, but the attack on language relating to women in England is very clear. Cervix havers and other dehumanising language have been used. When women raise these issues they receive endless threats of violence usually around the subject of sexual violence. I am afraid I am not doing much lol at the moment.

I did read and am trying to digest, there are a lot of points, paddyann but it's late and I am tired.

I will have a think, it seems to be unfair as I think an adoptive mother can claim maternity pay. Can she go down that route?

maternityaction.org.uk/advice/shared-parental-leave-and-pay/

Galaxy

I am not uptodate about the situation in Scotland so I havent particularly commented on it, but the attack on language relating to women in England is very clear. Cervix havers and other dehumanising language have been used. When women raise these issues they receive endless threats of violence usually around the subject of sexual violence. I am afraid I am not doing much lol at the moment.

The case of the pregnant couple is not really to do with erosion of rights, at least I don't think so.
Separate issue.

I agree, it is all very disturbing Galaxy.

How will these changes help your friends, paddyanne54?

Unless I've misunderstood, if 'mother' changes to 'birth giver', it will still apply to the one who wants to go back to work, so won't the situation stay the same for the one who is doing the primary care?

I had friends in a similar situation (although the birth mother took the maternity leave), and the other mum adopted their babies legally, so they were both legal parents, and after the maternity leave period both were eligible for parental leave etc.

This was a while ago now, and in England, so things may have moved on, but AFAIK there are no barriers to shared childcare on the grounds of sex, gender or sexual orientation - the rules have to be exactly the same for all.

I hope the pregnant woman is well enough to go back to work after a fortnight, though. Mine were born by c-section, and that would have been impossible.

I hope your friends get this sorted out, Paddyann This is the kind of story that would get sympathy for parents in minority groups who want equality, but we don't hear about them.

Alegrias When we see a name on a post, we already have in memory the previous posts we have seen from that poster. If they usually post something in an angry or sarcastic tone, we are prepared for something in the same vein. It is impossible to erase past experience from the mind, though we can try not to let it bias us against a poster.

If they pride themselves on their own intellect and cutting edge, and post acerbicly whenever they read anything that doesn't come up to their own debating standards, then we assume attack very quickly. QED

So, attacking based on what one thinks a poster has to say rather than what they actually say.

Aye, thought so.

Perfectly illustrated.

Well said Elegran.

Way to go, Elegran

QED, indeed.

So long, and thanks for all the fish.

^So long, and thanks for all the fish*

CODSwallop!

My very good friends are pregnant ,they are both women

I find this ambiguous. Is each of them pregnant or are 'they' pregnant as a couple?

from paddyanne's post some of the SHOUTING is done to wind them up....lol so quite deliberate goading then. Any observation on this Alegrias1 ?

Elegran

Alegrias When we see a name on a post, we already have in memory the previous posts we have seen from that poster. If they usually post something in an angry or sarcastic tone, we are prepared for something in the same vein. It is impossible to erase past experience from the mind, though we can try not to let it bias us against a poster.

If they pride themselves on their own intellect and cutting edge, and post acerbicly whenever they read anything that doesn't come up to their own debating standards, then we assume attack very quickly. QED

Yeh let's not have any clever stuff on GN! Especially clever stuff in capitals!

tickingbird