AIBU to not disclose compensation

He sounds selfish and controlling ..you must be quite unhappy ...

i think this issue is an indication of a poor marriage. my parents had similar issues and despite staying together for many years were not happy .

By the way The network operator is not the same as the company which bills you for your gas or electricity

if it's compensation for the power cut, there appear to be a variety of ways to be paid and it should be automatic if you're on their priority register ( which you might be).

From Citizen's advice
^How you’ll get paid
The gas or electricity network operator will usually send the payment to your supplier. Your supplier will then credit it to your account. They should tell you about this.
If the network operator has your details, they might pay you directly.
Some suppliers will send you a cheque or pay the money into your bank account. If you have a prepayment meter, they might credit the meter directly.^

Germanshepherdsmum

You still don’t say what it is you’re receiving via your phone from the electricity company because you know perfectly well the account is in your name and probably has been since you inherited the house, which you’ve kept in your name yet you expect full disclosure of your husband’s financial position. Hence in the unlikely event that you have received a cheque, which is very much yesterday’s currency, you know exactly why it’s in your name. Prove me wrong.

Whilst I can see your concerns Germanshepardsmum, it is possible the compensation is payable to the acvount holder, Mrs S, but they can't pay it straight into her bank account as they don't have her details. They only have bank details for a Mr S. If this is a compensation payment they might need to pay Mrs S directly, hence would need to issue a cheque.
I received a cheque earlier this year for a tax rebate so cheques certainly in use.
And yes, am considering framing the cheque from HMRC!

The first thing that springs to mind is "There are no pockets in shrouds".
If you don't have children, who or what exactly is he squirreling the money away for and making you ( and probably himself) miserable in the process.
It seems to me that you are trying to make a joke of what is a serious situation- possibly as a defence mechanism.
As far as the cheque is concerned, I would be honest ( you don't need to behave the same way as him), tell him it came addressed to you and since you don't (presumably) have any joint account, you paid it into your account. If you say it as a passing comment, he may be unlikely to demand that the money is transferred to him. If he does, it is just another indication that the financial aspect of your relationship is not healthy.
If he is kind and thoughtful and loving in other ways, is there something in his past that makes him like this? Has he experienced fraud, theft or something serious from someone else. Does he have mental health issues? As a more extreme thought - is it possible he's hiding illegal financial dealings?
Only you can decide the overall advantages/disadvantages of staying with him and not challenging his behaviour.
I struggle to see how he can be paying the bills and managing all the finances if he won't even have an email address - not easy in this day and age and likely to mean you are not on the best deals with utility companies etc.
Do you have a family member or close friend who could talk through the options with you and help you to make him discuss this. Or would you consider going to CAB or Women's Aid or a lawyer? If I've picked up correctly that you own the house and it is in your name, where would he go if you divorced? Both your assets would most likely be split and would either of you be happy? is he willing to risk that?
There are various organisations offering support - it just depends whether you want to tackle it.
www.moneyhelper.org.uk/en/family-and-care/divorce-and-separation/protecting-against-financial-abuse
I hope you manage to change this behaviour. Good luck.

I would tell him that you have received the cheque and explain only you can cash it. Smile sweetly as you tell him as soon as it clears he can have it. You then have the upper hand. No good comes of deceit, no matter how you justify it.

This is such a horrible situation and you must think very little of yourself to accept £100 a month from your husband.
What a very sad life you must lead. Your husband too who can’ be a very contented man. Powerful, yes but a man with a lot of money but but not much else.
As others have said this marriage sounds abusive, certainly not a loving, comfortable situation. Have you ever wondered why you stay ?

All assets should be joint assets, but so are debts, which is why many couples maintain separate accounts. It is no good having a joint account if it is overdrawn within hours of the 'breadwinner's' salary being paid into it.

Can’t understand separate bank accounts for married couples. Surely all assets are joint assets - or should be.

Hence in the unlikely event that you have received a cheque, which is very much yesterday’s currency,

Cheques are not yet obsolete - I recently received one from HMRC for overpaid taxes for last year. A few days after the cheque I received a letter from them saying I was due a refund and if I wanted the money paid directly into my account I had to do blah, blah. But the cheque came first!

This is known a financial abuse and should you divorcee you'd get a share of it.

This is financial abuse and whether you keep the damn cheque or not is irrelevant.

What about money for homemaking, for food, for making yourself look presentable?

I couldn't manage on £100 a week, let alone month!

I'm sorry to say but I'd have run a mile from this marriage years ago, claimed half of everything sued him for financial abuse on top!
Good luck! x

My first thought...How do you live with someone like that ?

My second thought..Put the cheque in your account.

My third thought...ditto the first.

The situation sounds quite toxic to me. I have always been financially independent, despite being disabled since infancy,and I always worked to provide for myself and two children. I don’t know what to advise as he may find out and withdraw your allowance. Good luck.

This thread shows clearly who do not bother to read the whole thread before adding their tuppence worth.

The cheque is a refund for money advanced to buy Energy which was not received. It is a refund to the person who paid the money, therefore, according to you, your husband.

You know perfectly well it is not your money, so you should be honest about it with your husband, no matter what other financial arrangements are in place.
A very strange thread.

Just think about it MissA.

Bloody hell!
This isn't crown court!
Stop it.

I would bank the cheque and not mention it.

If your husband finds out because it is mentioned on the next bill, you need to have made up your mind whether you will admit you banked it as it was in your name, or pretend to know nothing about it.

What worries me is not this issue but the wider one.

You have no means of support except the money your husband GIVES you.

You have no joint account, but have and have always had seperate accounts.

If your husband pre-deceases you, you will be left with no access to his accounts as they are in his name.

My advice to you is that you after Christmas phone your bank and ask what the precise situation with regards to your access to your husband's accounts will be if he predeceases you.

If they will not or cannot answer and your own bank advisor is equally unhelpful, consult a solicitor or Citizen's advice.

You are unable to work due to ill-health. You did not mention how long you have been in this situation, or if you have at any time contributed to a pension fund.

I do not understand why you are not receiving a disability pension, so please find out whether you are entitled to one and put in a request for it.

You need to find out exactly what your financial situation is now, if it can be improved, and what it will be in the event of your husband's death.

Unless you are addicted to gambling or alcohol, I do not understand why your husband behaves in this manner regarding money.

For reasons which are no business of mine, you have accepted his decisions, but as you have been married to him for 30 years I am going on the assumption that you cannot be much under 50 and presumably are a good bit over that, so it is only reasonable to consider what will happen if you are widowed.

I know none of us like considering it, and feel callous in doing so, but please, do consider the future for your own sake.

You still don’t say what it is you’re receiving via your phone from the electricity company because you know perfectly well the account is in your name and probably has been since you inherited the house, which you’ve kept in your name yet you expect full disclosure of your husband’s financial position. Hence in the unlikely event that you have received a cheque, which is very much yesterday’s currency, you know exactly why it’s in your name. Prove me wrong.

For heavens sake Germanshepherd this is turning into some sort of vendetta, i can only put in my posts what are true, i can absolutely assure you that there is no cloak and dagger behind anything. I have absolutely no idea why the cheque arrived in my name, if i did have reason to know then it would all have been explained in my initial post so my question was understood, as it is, i literally have ziltch no idea why the cheque is in my name and quite frankly i dont know how many times i need to say this.

You obviously think its fabricated, for what purpose i have no idea and i can only say it is not.

Your posts dont exactly make members of Gransnet freely post their questions !

She’d lose the house, haven’t you read the posts? She would claim half the money, he would want half the value of her house. Ain’t going to happen.

Absolutely you should keep it. The cheque is made out to you!
You do know your husband is being financially abusive don’t you? How do you manage on £100 per month when it sounds like he could afford to transfer a higher sum to you each month.
I’ve always worked but by my own admission am rubbish with money so my salary has always been used for food a few bills and anything the children needed. My husband earns a great deal more than me and he paid the joint mortgage and the majority of the bills and did the majority of the saving. He has always put his savings into an account in our joint names and for the last 5 years has out the maximum amount allowable into my ISA because he says it’s all ‘ours’. I also have access to all his accounts should I need them.
You need to have a conversation with your husband!
Enjoy your little windfall without guilt please.

Definitely keep it. Sounds like coercive control to me!