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He's bought her a mug!!!

(37 Posts)
spabbygirl Fri 14-Jan-22 14:14:57

my husband & I were on holiday this week & went to the Emma Bridgewater factory shop & he bought 2 mugs in the sale for friends. He's a gardener & does a garden for someone 5 miles away from his usual orbit & when I point out that is not cost effective he said he likes the lady, but now has bought her a mug in the sale. I haven't said anything but I think this is a bit too much like a gift for a friend rather than a work relationship, AIBU? He's great in every other way and I thought unlikely to stray - but you never know! Or am I just being paranoid?

CanadianGran Fri 14-Jan-22 20:52:18

I agree with Elizabeth27, he wouldn't have bought it in front of you if he was really being unfaithful.

But go ahead and make a light jab to get your point across.

M0nica Fri 14-Jan-22 20:53:54

spabbygirl next time some guy takes an interest in me I won't be so quick to turn away!


This could lead you into really deep and very muddy waters and somewhere that made you wish you hadn't done something so foolish..

There is absolutely no evidence that your DH is remotely interested in this lady, other than an employer and friend, as other say, it is perfectly possible for employer and employee man and women to have friendships that have no sexual element in it whatsoever and everything your DH has said and done makes it clear that is all it is.

The big question is, what on earth made you think this simple and open gesture should have any other meaning behind it? Do you have insecurities you do not want to admit to?

Millie22 Fri 14-Jan-22 21:09:43

I have two Emma Bridgewater trays. Very handy for tea and cake. I wouldn't worry too much about a mug.

lemongrove Fri 14-Jan-22 22:57:57


Tuck it all up your sleeves & then, one fine day, an opportunity might arise for you to do something similar, “Oh look Dear Husband, some lovely boxer shorts on the Sale counter. I’ll just take a pair for my Personal Trainer.”
I’m sure you get my drift!


spabbygirl Sat 15-Jan-22 11:58:01

thanks for that everyone! I'm sure I do have insecurities, I've had such a hard time with relationships over the years & my parents hated each other so there was no role model there but talking to you lot has helped me keep it in perspective, thanks loads smile

Caleo Sat 15-Jan-22 12:11:34

I'd admire his thoughtfulness, and approve of his happiness in his work and friendships.

trisher Sat 15-Jan-22 12:13:57

spabbygirl I'm not a gardener and don't have one for anyone to work in. What I have noticed is that my gardening friends seem to bond with each other and get onto discussing their annuals/geraniums/lawn problems immediately, so I wonder if working as a gardener can be the same. Maybe she's just really keen on the garden and that has made them friends. It's not something I understand really I think it's deadly boring discussing leaf rot and root fungus (not sure they are actual things but they're typical). I wouldn't worry.

Kali2 Sat 15-Jan-22 12:17:46

I see nothing wrong with having a genuine friendship with someone who is an 'employer or employee'. My latest cleaning help in the UK was one of my best friends- and my cleaner here my neighbour and great friend. Especially if they share some interests, like flowers, plants, gardening.

Kali2 Sat 15-Jan-22 12:19:31

Do you share his keen interest in gardening and plants, etc?

My OH does not, so always glad to find someone I can talk to about my passion for cottage gardening- male or female, young or old. Just as he loves to talk about photography with others.

Kim19 Sat 15-Jan-22 12:27:40

Gosh, you certainly sound insecure. Please don't retaliate in the way you suggest. Disaster lies there. I think it is a lovely gesture of his and he is totally open with you about it. Over the years I have regularly given a few of my employers gifts. No bribe, no corruption, just liked them. How about you suggest sometime that you would like to meet her? If this proves acceptable then simply enjoy the moment then take yourself off for a long walk only returning when husband will be finished work. Stay calm. I fear you may be letting your imagination run away with you.

Ali08 Wed 19-Jan-22 03:42:29

Just ask to go with him one day. Say you'd like the trip, some different scenery and you'd enjoy watching him work!
If you got bored you could take a walk around the neighbourhood, maybe chat with neighbours and tell them your DH does gardening for her. As well as being able to gauge their reactions, you may get him some other jobs and make that extra 5 miles more worthy!