What to do on death of a loved one

The thing is you can’t phone everyone. Having to say it over and over again.

When my sister died recently I phoned one cousin and they then phoned round that side of the family. Another cousin contacted people on the other side. But for her friends (who I hardly knew) I put it on Facebook. How else could I have contacted them all without going through her address book and phoning or writing to each one?

I’m not on FB but I’ve heard of these notices that people quickly post and have never understood how they can manage to do it at such a time. I suppose grief has always a private thing to me, telling those who need to know and putting a death notice in the paper. A generational thing I suppose.

I would liken it to a death notice in a local newspaper. In these days of increased technology people are more likely to see the death of an acquaintance on social media as many don’t actually buy a local newspaper any more.

The gofundme I struggle a bit more with it I’m honest, but the announcement and funeral details on social media makes sense to me. It saves grieving relatives from having to make endless phone calls etc.

Nobody should criticise a grieving person. Some people panic about funeral costs and set up a funding page, some people want everyone to know so post on social media or like those on here want some support.

Luckygirl, I cannot believe two years have passed. A sad day for you, today. ?

Sashabel, there are a number of posters on GN, who have recently lost loved ones and have found the support they have received on GN, of great comfort in their darkest moments.
We all deal with grief in different ways. Whether it was your intention or not, your post comes across as very judgemental.
I am not surprised this thread has upset Luckygirl. I would be too.

Namsnanny Gransnet is a social media forum

Some people post news of a death on social media because it is a fast way of letting friends and family know. Sometimes the deceased was prominent in their community. There are many reasons for doing this. The GoFundMe appeals are usually created by friends.

We all have our own way of dealing with stuff.

Everyone handles things differently

After all this pandemic social media has become more important for 2 things:

1. A way to connect and engage with people we care about

2. A way to let out whatever negative emotion is being harboured

Please try to choose 1

Luckygirl3

I would not presume to judge those who have been bereaved on how they choose to deal with this. We all find our own different ways of coping.

You need to do two things:
- search in your heart for a shred of humanity
- ask for your post to be removed

Today is the second anniversary of my husband's death. I am dealing with it in my own way. I do not need you or anyone else passing judgement.

The Poster is merely saying about posting someone’s death on social media and setting up a funding page to pay for the funeral , which is very often the case as I see almost daily . The Poster is in no way disrespecting anyone who has lost a loved one and how they personally deal with it , just looking to GN thoughts on the matter .
I wish ones who reply to a post would read the contents first before making assumptions.
I too have lost my long term partner two years ago , and yes, I’ve dealt with it in my own way , and no , I didn’t want to post about his death on social media or even want anyone to set up a fund raising page for the cost of his funeral .

This is news to me, probably because I'm not on any social media forums.
But people do lots of things nowadays that are a switch around of the morals and mores we grew up with.
Is it the on line descriptions of grief that you dislike, or the crowd funding aspect?

Much love and empathy, Luckygirl13 xx

Luckygirl13 xx

If it helps them to cope, so be it.

I would not presume to judge how people handle their grief.

Luckygirl13

?

I would not presume to judge those who have been bereaved on how they choose to deal with this. We all find our own different ways of coping.

You need to do two things:
- search in your heart for a shred of humanity
- ask for your post to be removed

Today is the second anniversary of my husband's death. I am dealing with it in my own way. I do not need you or anyone else passing judgement.

Some funding pages are set up by a 3rd party, with or w/o knowledge of the relatives of the deceased, and then they are informed.