Sleeping around

I think its possible for one night stands to be about 'being unhappy' and sort of seeking validation from men, I certainly have experienced that in my lifetime, but I think the same can be said about relationships/marriage, i.e leaping into a relationship on the rebound or because you cant cope with being single, I have seen that happen too. The act itself isnt the cause of self esteem, unhappiness, and its perfectly possible to have one night stands etc with very healthy self esteem in the same way its possible to be married with healthy self esteem.

I think it's stupid being so free and easy with your own body. Abortions diseases etc. Then they wonder why the guy won't marry them. Moral standards are rock bottom. Women laugh at comedians using foul language. I'm 64. Divorced for over 30 years and have slept with 2 men in my entire life. M engaged to one and was married to the other. Never had an affair either. I'm appalled by falling moral standards. It leads to the society we now all live in.

Well said. I was brought up by a scrict mother and I'm pleased she taught me to have respect for myself. Personally I couldn't imagine having sex with a stranger or a man I didn't love. It cheapen everything.

About 10 years ago on Night owls there was a similar discussion where a 14 year old girl had had 47 lovers. Some married men and some single men. Everyone was absolutely horrified. I don't think it's normal. I think it's dangerous and it's awful. I feel sorry for her and any other young girl or young woman who thinks this is self respect. If you can't respect yourself enough to say no then nobody else will. Wide open to VD etc.

Well that's child abuse so that's a different topic altogether.

Laughing at foul language how disgraceful. Yes how far society has fallen. We need to go back to the time when rape within marriage was legal, when the signs read no blacks no Irish, when men beating their wives was just expected. Let's go back to the moral standards of those times.

This thread is full of sexism and misogyny. I understand attitudes were ingrained but surely that was partly due to a lack of contraception? Women (and men) NOW HAVE ACCESS TO CONTRACEPTION oops to keep themselves sexually well and there are laws concerning consent that are much more robust than in years previously. It really is nobody else's business. No one is bringing shame to themselves or their family.

My Mother was so Victorian that even now I don't like going to the Dr for personal matters. I really don't think these old fashioned attitudes and judgement help.

Sometimes Sockandsock01 women actually initiate sex (shock, horror) it's not even a question of saying "no".

They sometimes initiate sex whilst laughing at foul language , we have always been good at multitasking.

Weren't the mills and boons books full of sex? was it all marital?

Yes even me. But I know my partner well. I'm proud of it too. I'm old fashioned and proud of that. I have moral standards. Others have also used sarcastic remarks such as going back to the days of signs with no blacks. That's far removed from my thinking. I don't hint men nor women should sleep around. But that's their choice I prefer my lifestyle. I've never had an unwanted pregnancy or disease. And I still had contraception. Moral standards shouldn't rely on modern medication.

Galaxy

Laughing at foul language how disgraceful. Yes how far society has fallen. We need to go back to the time when rape within marriage was legal, when the signs read no blacks no Irish, when men beating their wives was just expected. Let's go back to the moral standards of those times.

Why does wanting to adhere to some of the standards of the past mean people also want to return to racism, domestic violence etc?

That is a cheap and unfair argument.

So why is it morally wrong for someone to do something they enjoy with another person * Socks*. Would you say that if they were playing tennis or cards? I know people who have pulled muscles playing tennis, so there is a danger of physical damage.

Exactly

I’m guessing this isn’t the place to bring up the dominatrix I once knew, no? ?

I would play cards with anyone. I wouldn't have have sex with anyone I'd just met. I certainly wouldn't imagine I'd enjoy it under those circumstances. But making love and having sex is different. Perhaps that's the real difference.

Yes you're right romance books were full of sex but usually the people were "in love" with each other. Though these were novels of course.

Because the morals of those times were also detrimental to women in many ways, and a post specifically pointed out that the society we now live in was bad, I was pointing out that society back then when apparently we were all behaving ourselves (not true anyway - my grandmother had to get married because she was pregnant) had many moral failings.

JaneJudge

This thread is full of sexism and misogyny. I understand attitudes were ingrained but surely that was partly due to a lack of contraception? Women (and men) NOW HAVE ACCESS TO CONTRACEPTION oops to keep themselves sexually well and there are laws concerning consent that are much more robust than in years previously. It really is nobody else's business. No one is bringing shame to themselves or their family.

My Mother was so Victorian that even now I don't like going to the Dr for personal matters. I really don't think these old fashioned attitudes and judgement help.

Absolutely agree with every word of that!

Socksandsocks01

Well said. I was brought up by a scrict mother and I'm pleased she taught me to have respect for myself. Personally I couldn't imagine having sex with a stranger or a man I didn't love. It cheapen everything.

So anyone who has sex without love - or with a stranger has no self-respect and is cheap?

This is Victorian morality. Mostly defined by men - who decided that there should be a certain coterie of women who they could play around with (married men, often), but their wives and daughters had to be pure and virtuous. Which is where the idea of 'self respect' comes from. They would often banish daughters who got pregnant for bringing 'shame' on the family... whilst regularly visiting their mistresses. Mistresses who were, at one time, someone else's daughters...

The hypocrisy is stunning.

Dickens - agreed, there is an awful lot of hypocrisy and double standards in this thread.

I'm only stating values which I live by. If others wish to sleep around that's up to them male or female. Yes I'd describe it as cheap or easy. I couldn't care a less what others think of me. I think enough of myself not to drop my knickers for fun. End of. Is that making me a hypocrite? I dont think so. Carry on.

Socksandsocks01

I would play cards with anyone. I wouldn't have have sex with anyone I'd just met. I certainly wouldn't imagine I'd enjoy it under those circumstances. But making love and having sex is different. Perhaps that's the real difference.

I absolutely agree that making love, (which needn’t involve coitus or even touching sexual organs) and sex (which needn’t involve love) are two different things. I’m pleased to say I’ve enjoyed both.

I also have high moral standards. Too high sometimes. Ironically I fall short of my standard of tolerance ?

Isn’t it odd how people focus on sex as a measure of morality?

I was brought up with, and have lived by, the same standards as you Socks. I see nothing wrong in that. I also brought my son up to respect girls and treat them well.

I afraid I thought enough of myself to drop my knickers for fun.

More than once.

It was wonderful. It just was. That totally lost to the world feeling. I wouldn’t have missed it for anything.