AIBU to be really upset, almost in mourning for the loss of my car, or just ridiculous

She?

If you are feeling upset and almost in mourning, then there is nothing unreasonable or ridiculous about it.

You feel what you feel, and telling yourself that it is unreasonable is pointless - it's a feeling, and that's all there is to it.

The thing now is to look forward and consider what to do to make you feel better. Buy a new car? See if you can get the old one fixed? Decide not to drive for a while to see if you can manage on public transport? Hire a chauffeur? . Whatever you think might work for you is worth investigating.

What I would suggest though, is that you are kinder to yourself, and let yourself feel what you feel without censoring it.

I had a lovely red Ford Fiesta which I loved, I always liked the sports car MX 5 and said often that I liked it. One day my husband took me out for a test drive in one, when we finished he handed me back the keys and said it’s yours. I cried and cried as I didn’t want it I loved my fiesta. It was much better in a dream than in reality.

Not unreasonable at all. My car in now quite old, not sure how old exactly probably about 12 years, had it from new and I still love it. I have barely used it since lockdown apart from hairdressers and shopping but I plan to run it for as long as possible. There have been people in my life (not husband or family) that I would miss much less than my car.

I would be the same if it had been my car. I've had it for 12 years, a white Mégane coupé, and I love it. It passed its MOT in December again and I was delighted. My friend had his car damaged in a hit and run y'day, £2000 worth of damage done and I thought if it had been my car it prob would of been scrapped and I would of been gutted.
Glad you and your husband are both ok.

YANBU You cherished your car and due to someone else's behaviour you have had it taken away from you. Glad no one was injured but you may well still be in shock about the whole incident. Give yourself time to reconcile what happened.

Totally understand M0nica each time MOT comes around i am uber anxious as car is now 18yrs old!! Had it from new and i would be bereft if i had to scrap it...i don't do a lot of driving as can't sit for long but its the constant in my life as its always been reliable...am crossing my fingers and toes now as don't want to tempt fate...

Thankfully you are both ok - that is the main thing. The car? Could you take your mind of your lost car, and start looking around for what you will purchase next? That's exciting, and may help take your mind of this car being scrapped.

Not unreasonable if that's how you feel. But it's best not to get too attached to non-living things, I think. Living people and animals are what really matter.

If you're not going to replace the car then it's saying goodbye to a way of life, not just the car so I understand. I'll feel sad when I make that decision in the years to come.

YANBU
Glad neither of you were injured.

I’d not go down the repair route personally, cars never lose the “written off” label - it would have to be declared on your insurance etc, and as you say it would probably be more cost effective to get a different car.
Good luck whatever you decide to do ?

Monica, if the car is not too badly damaged could you buy it back from the insurance company and get it repaired. I understand this is sometimes done.

I can empathise MOnica. I had a Citroën Dyane for years until we sold it and I inherited DH's Volvo and I was devastated as it's new owner drove off in it.

We currently have a Yaris which neither of us like driving .

I love my old car, love it with a passion. I often sing (alone!) as I just feel good driving it because it is smart and elegant. It is very old but looks marvelous and is often remarked upon. It has never ever let me down and when it finally goes - if it predeceases me - I will be bereft. I understand completely, MOnica - try the 'buying it back' route, it might be well worth it.

Many years ago my first new little car - Rover Knightsbridge was written off. I cried.
If you have had it a long time and have memories associated with it, it's even more understandable to be so upset. I feel sad for you.

Is it really a write-off? An accident where the other driver reversed in to me and the insurance company wanted to write it off (15year old vw) They wanted to give me £1300 but there was no way I could have replaced my car with anything so reliable, for that price. And I’d been paying fully comp for years. I took it to an independent garage and it turned out that all that was necessary was realigning a headlight. There was a little cosmetic damage but the important thing was that my car still has lots of years left -I had it from new and kept up with servicing. In the end after lots of argument I paid for the repair myself and got some compensation from the insurer.

I would take it to a small established garage and ask them to look at it. You never know. Insurance companies are quick to write off vehicles

I know how you feel MOnica. I had my car stolen from outside the front of my house. It was an older car but I had looked after it and it had been with me through many years of events, taking the children to school etc and I felt safe in it. The people that stole it used if for a getaway car after a ram raid, Then they set fire to it and left it to die. I was very upset and like you my Insurance company were great, but that wasn't the point.

Condolences M0nica. I am so sorry your car is a write off. A reliable car is ones best friend and its a great loss. Hope that when you get a replacement it begins to fill the shoes of the one you had. Wishing you all the very best.

My son had a similar problem with his car….written off due to its age…but it’s a classic….so worth repairing…..I can’t remember the details but the short story is he got it repaired and still has it….talk to your insurance people….if there’s nothing major damaged I’m sure you should be able to save it….although you may never feel quite the same about it again.

Totally and utterly sympathise. My nearly 15 year old Toyota Prius had its main battery fail out of the blue. Too expensive to have a new one installed. Two weddings, two funerals, four grandchildren and several holidays later I wept to have to say goodbye.

'old' cars can be written off with very little damage. Couldn't you find out how much repairsmight be? Insurer only work on resale value and that it totally based on age so if the resale value is £250 and the repairs would cost £300 it would be a write-off.
No, you know what value is. and are not being unreasonable.

YANBU but its a thing....just a thing. use things; love people

M0nica I absolutely sympathise - when my last car - a much-loved Fiat Panda - was nearing the end, I couldn't face having it scrapped, so gave it to my nephew so as to avoid witnessing the end of it's life.. He got good use from it which I was very happy about.

can? = car!