AIBU to be really upset, almost in mourning for the loss of my car, or just ridiculous

Firstly I'm glad you say no one was injured. That is most important.
Some people might shrug and say it's only a car, it can be replaced, but for many of us our car becomes our friend especially when like yours it has seen you through the ups and downs of life. I can understand how you feel.

Yanbu.

I learned not to associate memories to things to avoid this.

Cars become part of our lives and you can grieve for them when they go, especially suddenly as yours did.
I think many of us become attached to our cars. Not unusual.

Not at all Monica. I had a red Fiesta a few years ago. Just a Fiesta. Nothing flash.

I LOVED that car. It was really nippy. I hammered it up and down the A1 for years. It moved house with me, fitting almost all of my belongings into it (how????). It once fitted a sofa in that my bloke claimed not to be able to fit into his people carrier.

I kept it insured when I first moved abroad and had a friend drive it once a week.

Broke my heart when it failed its MOT and had to be scrapped. The only car I've loved. None of the flash / expensive ones I've had were loved like that.

I’m so sorry MOnica. We get very attached to our cars which take us everywhere and wait to bring us safely back. It’s always a relief to see the familiar workhorse waiting in the car park, a relief to get in and get back home.
You said it was possible to drive the car home. Is there no way the insurance company can be prevailed upon to pay the cost of repairs rather than scrapping your old friend? Or at least to pay you its value and leave ownership with you?

Oh Monica, I feel for you. The previous weekend my son wrote off his Toyota Yaris, to which he was devoted, having bought it new 18 years ago. Like you he feels the loss keenly. However his reaction was to rush out and buy a very expensive new one, which will never replace the feeling he had when the Yaris was delivered at one minute past midnight so that he could drive that newly registered car!

My SiLs old car was deemed a write off, but she was able to get it repaired and reinsure it. The payout from the insurance co was more than the repair cost, so she was quids in. You have to discuss this with the insurance co, sounds like yours might be ok if it’s drivable.

Oh, that’s a sorry story, Monica. It’s odd how some cars have personalities. I had a VW Polo, very basic, that I loved so much! I later had another identical one apart from colour but it simply wasn’t the same.

Likewise, my dd has had a relatively minor (but expensive!) accident in her little car and she is v upset. Her car even has a name and gets taken out for treats and all sorts.

I’m glad you’re not hurt, but it’s still a shock and it’ll take a while to adjust to the situation, I suspect. Take care.

Completely understand, Monica, and am really sad for you. However, SO glad no one was physically harmed although it may not feel like that to you at the moment. ?

GSM, sadly no. The car, in today's hyperinflating car price days is probably worth £1,000, up from £500, and DH thinks the steering rack has been damaged because it was pulling to one side a bit as he drove home. He reckons at least £2-3000 to repair. I will get the current value of the car, assume around £1,000, but that is all.

So I am now considering what I will do after that. Probably buy another one the same, but younger. I have started to peruse the car ads, but with a very heavy heart.

Wouldn't it be cheaper to accept the £1k and have it repaired than buy another car?

Not silly at all. I always feel a bit sad when I trade in my car for a new one. Even though I’m excited at getting a new car I always feel mean walking away from my old one at the dealership. I almost want to say sorry for abandoning it. ?

I'm sorry MOnica,I love my 17 year old car and DD still says if I want rid they will take it off my hands.It won't be going anywhere.My DH loved one of his cars unfortunately he was in a prang and it was written off or so we thought. A few months later the police confirmed that someone else had liked it so much they had it repaired and it was used in a Bank Robbery.!!!!!!

I love my mini so much that I had it resprayed last year. It looks like new, not 12 years old.

3 years ago my mum, now 93 rang me up in pieces. A lorry backed into her and it was written off, it must have been 20 years old. She cheered up when I said she could have a new one, have it fixed or find another one just like hers.
In the end we found one ( unfortunately not pink but otherwise the same) and although she doesn’t love it quite as much she is happy.
I hope you find your new happy.

My son's elderly Mondeo was written off 7 years ago when someone drove into the side of it. He replaced the door himself, got it MOT'd and has driven it ever since.

I was the other way round.I drove a PT Cruiser for 11 years. It was in my name but was really DH's. He loved it and I hated it! No steering lock, you didn't do 3 point turns you did 15 point turns. Visibility was appalling for the driver and the alarm went off when it felt like it. I was so pleased when he finally decided we needed something small and economical.

Oh MOnica, I do sympathise about your beloved Yaris. When I was working, I had a Rover that I loved. She was reliable and comfortable, no trouble at all. One day I parked it as usual, then a member of the staff came in and asked whether anyone owned a grey Rover. She had backed the school mini bus into my car, who ended up looking like Rod Hull's emu. So unfortunately she had to go and then I bought my Mitsi.

GSM, it is tempting, but the whole engine area has been shaken up and I would be worried that more would be found wrong once it seen by a garage and we could end up paying even more, or having other problems later on.

It is a balance between heart and head, my heart wants to keep it, but my head warns me that that could be an expensive mistake.

Do get a quote for the repairs before you decide MOnica.

It's completely understandable to feel upset about a car. They are not just a metal box as someone once said to me. We have associations and memories connected with a car. Many years ago I was involved in a small road traffic accident and my car was written off. I was very upset but actually felt a lot better when I got my next car.

YANBU
Same thing happened to me, sideswiped by a car coming off the motorway which got into a skid in heavy snow.
Mine was also a Toyota and I loved it dearly

I understand too. I think there is a connection between your car and your journey through life.

What are you going to do?

I have written off two cars - one myself and one when another car ran straight into me, my eldest daughter wrote off another (2weeks after I got it) and youngest D wrote off another when somebody ran into the back of her.

DH had only one thing each time to say after he knew we were all unhurt which was Bent Metal - and I think it is best to think of it that way.

I understand too, my car is my symbol of freedom, even though I don’t go far now I’m semi retired. Mines a Toyota too and they are very reliable. I have an Aygoo. Grieve for your little car, it’s understandable. My first car took us on holiday, the children on various outings, cubs, university etc, we had days out and ordinary drives here and there. It took me to work. It almost became part of the family, though it was so small I could either get three children in and a weeks shopping or three children and the dog, but no shopping. Or indeed shopping, the dog but no children!

I am not usually a person who personalises cars. I have always had old cars that I run into the ground and then scrap and I positively disliked my previous car, it had the acceleration of a cowpat and I do like my cars nippy, but I think it is because I have had this car so long and while I have had it we have had a number of family crises, where I seemed to spend more time alone in the car than with anyone else.

But talking about it on this thread has been so helpful and help me to deal with my very unexpected feelings. I also cannot really talk to DH too much about it because he was the driver and inevitably feels that it is his fault my car got damaged. He knows that isn't true, but keeps wondering whether if he had steered right rather than left of the offending car, he could have avoided it.

He will get over it, as shall I, but just at the moment we both feel tender.