How were you told about the onset of periods

i was nine. i went into my mom's bedroom as i had terrific tummy pains. I was taken to the Dr the next day. no idea what was said. I was given a sanitary belt and towel but i was never told anything apart from how to use the loops. I think i was about 13 when i eventually found out -what it was all about. but not by my mom or anybody else but by reading a magazine. Now suffering with VA - that is a taboo subject too!!!

I had a younger friend who told me about periods, she had several older sisters......I was appalled but thought 'bleeding ONCE a YEAR wasn't too bad then she corrected me and told me once a month ugh! it was 3 years later age 13 that I started and told my older sister who sorted me out..Mother said 'you've started your 'courses' then . what a strange term to use..

My mum gave me a sanitary belt and pads with loops. She said this will happen every month and will make a mess!!. No one told me about the horrendous pains i would suffer every month.

The very basic information from one very, very embarassed and unhappy Mother, who made it clear that anything to do with the body, reproduction etc. was pretty disgusting. Started at almost twelve on my first day at senior school (what luck) and felt terrible. Remember the safety pins holding towel to belt digging in and being so uncomfortable. Not long after some pants were invented that had little tabs with press studs at the front to hold a towel that had two round holes at the end - so much more comfortable, and oh, the relief! Nothing like the great revelation of Tampax though - total freedom.

As I said earlier, my periods started when I was eleven, and my mother had told me about them so it wasn’t a shock. However, I don’t think anything was said about why I had them, and nobody mentioned boys - I imagine it was perfectly obvious that at eleven I wasn’t remotely interested in boys. In fact the only boys I knew were my brother and his friends, and my boy cousins. They were totally uninteresting!

The only thing I remember about the deeper meaning of menstruation was when I and my mother visited my aunt and her new baby. My mother told her that I had recently started on the path that led to where she (my aunt) was now. Not sure that I knew what she meant.

Nothing, secondary school covered it, but 4 years too late

I started before I knew anything. Thought I was seriously ill for 2 or 3 days before I plucked up the courage to say anything. Then I got a perfunctory lesson - this is going to happen every month, it's normal - given a towel and a belt and left to get on with it. If it wasn't for a magazine article that offered a booklet all about it I would have known nothing for years!

My mother had prepared me well before I started my periods.
Then later on the nurse came into school and showed us films about it and sex education.
We were taught that if we came on at school to to the girls headteacher.
I came on at 13 at lunchtime when all the teachers were in the staff room.
My friends who were all super excited frogmarched me to our lovely dinner lady who calmed us all down and gave me the necessities to sort myself out.
Such sweet innocence.

I started my periods at 11. I felt very ill and woke up with dreadful stomach pains. When I got out of bed, I realised I was bleeding, but had absolutely no idea why or where from! My mother cut up bits of old cloth, which I wore inside my knickers and had to wash myself. She only told me that it was part of growing up. Only when I was able to work part time at 15 was I able to buy proper towels and sanitary wear.

Me. (aged 11 reading a woman's magazine) "What are periods?

Mother "Something that happens to you when you're grown up"

End of.

We were sent home from our all girls' school with a letter for our mothers, to ask them to be sure we were prepared, so that we didn't get a fright. My mother explained, gave me the Lilia booklet, and told me to come and tell her when it started, which was at the swimming pool after a cold water swim. I told her, and she sorted me out, she saud my granny had told her nothing, and she was terrified.

Tictacnana - I was 9 too. My primary school claimed I was the 1st to ever 'start' so young! I thought started what? They gave me a pad and sent me home. My Mum was a bargain hunter and in 1975 pads and belts were disappearing so Mum bought them in bulk...with no belts. She gave me a pack of small canoe pads and told me to use one a day.

The worst thing? I can't remember how or what I told my daughter...I had depression...I hope I was useful. I'll have to ask her :/

What wonderful, if sad, stories you all tell.

How terrible there were so many traumatised girls. I tried to educate my two daughters, but I fear I failed in not explaining enough too.

I think of Chad Varah who started Samaritans in memory of the very young girl who started her periods and committed suicide because of lack of knowledge about what was happening. She was buried on unconsecretated ground and Chad was horrified. He started Samaritans partly in the hope of dispelling ignorance.

Thank you ladies for your responses.

From quite a young age Mum sent me to the Chemists with a note and money and I would be handed a brown paper bag stapled closed. On one occasion the male assistant laughed and said "There you are love, one pack of man hole covers!" When I looked confused he said "And you a Cockney girl! Ask you mother what man hole covers are!!" I did. She looked shocked and said I should never use that expression, it was very common. I still had no idea what it referred to. I eventually discovered my Mum sent me to the Chemists because she was too embarrassed to go herself. She was a nurse and a midwife for Heaven's sake!!

Mum never told me anything about periods, anything to do with sex or 'intimate subjects' was taboo in our house. At secondary school we had one lesson (without the boys) which focused on frogs, rabbits and birth, but not in great detail. Nothing said about periods, sanitary protection, sex or contraception.

I was 14 when I woke up one morning and found I was bleeding. It didn't frighten me but I told my Mum who looked disgusted and said "More expense!" She gave me an elasticated belt and a couple of Dr Whites towels and told me to keep myself clean, but don't bathe or wash my hair, and don't mess around with boys. The bulky towels were horrible to wear and sometimes leaked. When we did PE at school girls who had their periods weren't allowed to take part in case of leakage. I eventually discovered tampons. Mum found them in my dressing table drawer and was very angry, saying they would 'ruin' me.

My MIL was equally prudish. After our first child was born DH came into the hospital with sanitary protection for me. She was really shocked that he had bought them. And when I was suffering exceptionally heavy periods during the menopause she was hugely embarrassed when I had to find a toilet quickly while we were out, and even worse that I should mention it to my DH.

We had three sons and I made sure they knew all about male and female reproduction as part of everyday conversation. We could always talk to them about anything and everything and still can.

Our older granddaughters are coping very well with growing up, and can discuss anything with both their parents. Our two youngest GDs (5 & 7) were present at the births of their siblings without any shock, fear or embarrassment and gave us a wonderful and very humorous account of the whole process!

My mother did tell me before I started but left nothing for me to use. I came home from school one day and when I went to the toilet realised I had started . I was 11 and 9 months.

My mother was in work, me and my younger brother had my Nan looking after us until she came home. Nana gave me money to go to the local chemist to buy what I needed and I still remember how mortified I was when the female shop assistant was busy and the male pharmacist served me . I don’t think I ever forgave my mother for not having any sanitary products ready in the house for me, she thought she still had plenty of time to buy them!

I made sure I told both my daughters and showed them what I bought. I put a tampon in water for my youngest daughter to show her how it would expand. Good job I prepared her early she had her first period 2 days before her 11th birthday, her older sister was 12 and a half

1960, aged 13, one afternoon having come home from school, I was in the house on my own ... and I ‘started’. So excited, I went to meet mum off the bus coming home from work. I told her ... her reply was ... ‘don’t go near any lads’. What!!!??? Can’t recall any reply from me. Did I know what she meant, probably.

My mum was brill, she sat me down and told me all about it and apparently her mum had done the same which judging by some of the posts on here and the stories that my mum told me about her school friends experiences, was not the norm! She told my sister too, but for some odd reason she didn’t tell mum when it happened and just hit her knickers under her mattress until she ran out of knickers !

Following on from my previous post - I started a week before my 11th birthday, so I had to tell my daughter when she was about 10 incase it happened to her early too. Which it did. She was still at primary school. She was actually at school when it happened. I got a phone call from the school to say that she had locked herself in the loo and was saying she wanted her mummy. They had no idea why. I sort of guessed and when I got there I was right.

I was just given a booklet to read which didn’t really explain anything. When my periods started I hadn’t a clue what was happening and ended up blocking the loo with toilet paper. Mum gave me some horrendous pants and towels, but I soon discovered Tampax. It’s very sad to read so many stories of traumatised young girls. I tried my best to explain everything to my children. I could maybe have done better but they at least knew what was happening.

My mum gave me an article from a magazine to read! Just as well I was a good reader!! Still it was all a bit vague. Girls are so much more informed nowadays thankfully.

Sallywally1

I hid them from my (very neurotic) mother using tea towels etc. she later found a blood Stain on the bed and said ‘oh you’ve started then’ and walked out. I was no longer her baby.

Thank god I had a sister seven years my senior, who helped and instructed me in the womanly arts! She knew our mum was bats!

The experiences posted here sound very familiar. It’s so sad that it was so. I always think that the best way is to answer children’s questions as they come up at whatever age they are. Adults often fall into the trap of thinking they need to have ‘the talk’, but in some ways this should never be needed if we just keep the conversations going and don’t duck them

I wasn' t by my parents. Mine started quite late, aged 16, so lots of girls at school already had them . When it happened, I said " mom, I have my period" and she rushed out to buy sanitary towels. She never bought them again and never mentioned them again. Sooooo different to myself and my daughter.

my mother asked me if I new what happened when I was about 14 ( I was 14) when I said yes she replied I thought you would,I was at boarding school and when i started I got told off for not having the necessary equipment, I had to write and ask my mother to send me some!!

Well done everyone who has read this far in the thread. Isn't it amazing how many of us were not properly prepared and so many mothers refused to talk about it, explain, or even help, sending girls to the neighbour or to an aunt,older sister, or just leaving us to work it out for themselves.

My mother and our neighbour gave me and the girl next door a pamphlet to read when we were about 10, but it went completely over my head. When I had a French exchange girl staying, she had her period and I remember my mother making up a sanitary towel with cotton wool to help her out, but she tried to hide it from me and never mentioned it.

I went on a Colony Holiday aged 12 and all the girls except me had sanitary pads in their cases. One evening I went to the loo and still felt a bit wet when I got back so I borrowed a tissue from the girl in the next bed, wiped myself again and discovered some blood. She was an angel and lent me her belt and pads. I washed the belt when I got home and posted it back to her but I never heard from her again.

Back home, my father gave me a long boring talk, I think it was about sex and boys but, again, it went entirely over my head, so, basically, Inhadnto work it all out for myself.

I am ashamed to say that I never had any talk with my boys about anything but by th Time they were reaching puberty, school education was much better. Just giving them a moral code to live by seemed to do the trick.

My (I think) well meaning Mum told me “I would get The Curse”. I went to an all girls school but as far as the know to this day, no one else “got the curse”. Once married, I didn’t tell my husband either. I’m nearly 60 now and I still find it hard to talk openly about this subject. Thank Goddo things have changed. Life’s hard enough.