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Too many toys

(79 Posts)
Jaffacake2 Thu 10-Mar-22 07:51:00

Spent yesterday at daughters house helping with change around of bedrooms so that grandchildren have a room each. Previously they were sharing with bunk beds and 3rd bedroom was a playroom. They are 6 and 4 years old.
I was shocked by the amount of toys they have. I know I have contributed at Xmas and birthdays but it's not until you get to empty a playroom that it hits you. Rather disappointed that remote controls are not with expensive toys so don't get played with . Somewhere in a toy box mum !
Think there is going to be a trip to a charity shop to declutter at some time. Just want to go back today and find remotes but don't think I should interfere.
Maybe it comes from having very few toys myself as a child. A doll, stuffed rabbit and a troll horse were cherished along with a couple of board games and a scooter.
What do others think about toys for grandchildren ? Do they have too many ?

Witzend Thu 10-Mar-22 08:06:41

Yes, far too many, but that doesn’t stop me adding to them for birthdays and Christmas - how can I not give them anything? I already have a large, shark-like marine reptile thing for dinosaur-mad Gds’ birthday in the summer.

But I do try to avoid anything with ‘bits’ since necessary ‘bits’ of anything so often disappear into a black hole in their house, never to be seen again.

Far too many clothes, too, but that’s because dd is regularly given umpteen bags of outgrown things by friends - and she does often pass ditto to friends with younger children. But at least half of the bags she receives could go straight to the charity shop - the ample drawers and wardrobes Gdcs have are invariably stuffed to bursting, so the ‘floordrobe’ has to take the overflow.
But as long as they’re all happy….

Grandmabatty Thu 10-Mar-22 08:15:54

My dd puts a limit on cost for the boys and will suggest toys for them. There are only two years between them so the toys will be well used. They do have a lot and there's more at my house and the other grandparents house for them too. Dgs1 is perfectly happy playing with a bit of plastic toy fence and making it a railway or a freight train.

dragonfly46 Thu 10-Mar-22 08:20:32

My DGC have too many toys so I try and buy them something more useful for birthdays and Christmas. My DS and DiL really appreciate this.

Sara1954 Thu 10-Mar-22 08:25:35

Three of ours live here, and since they have been here, I have realised that so many toys go completely unplayed with, so many books never read, and so much clothes never worn.
The playroom is stuffed with toys of every kind, and very little is actually played with.
The youngest one does like her colouring. and her dolly’s, but there are two dolls houses, never played with, shelf after shelf of games, puzzles and books endless character toys, you name it, we’ve probably got it.
I know I’m more than partly to blame, but now I know how little they play with their toys, I definitely don’t buy as much, and I try and persuade my daughter not to, but she’s a lost cause.

tanith Thu 10-Mar-22 08:31:50

I have small GC and GGC they have many aunts and uncles who buy for them so I now give them money which is put into savings unless there is something they need. They have way too much as it is.

lixy Thu 10-Mar-22 08:32:39

Yes - just too much 'stuff' in general.

We have an understanding that if we buy them a toy then it lives at our house and is here whenever they come, ditto books. There is a bit of movement between the houses but in general it works out OK - and we limit the clutter here by being mean!

GCn sometimes have a 'table top sale' outside their house in the Summer so they get the proceeds from a clear-out. They're quite keen on that.

Jaxjacky Thu 10-Mar-22 08:45:37

My daughter has bought up both of her children that prior to birthdays and Christmas some toys are given to charity before new ones come in. This is their normal.

Jaffacake2 Thu 10-Mar-22 08:47:10


My daughter has bought up both of her children that prior to birthdays and Christmas some toys are given to charity before new ones come in. This is their normal.

That's such a good idea ! Going to suggest it to my daughter

ShazzaKanazza Thu 10-Mar-22 08:49:08

Lixy it’s the same with us. Most of what we buy for the Grandchildren stays at ours. They have their own room full of toys and books here. We do see them all the time though.
DD likes crafts or experiences now rather than as she calls it ‘a load of plastic stuff’.

Sago Thu 10-Mar-22 08:52:14

Our daughter rotates the toys, each week a box out of the snug and a new one in.
For Xmas the youngest got his sisters old farm set cleaned up and wrapped!
His favourite toy is a wooden fire engine that belonged to our boys, youngest son restored it and gave it to him for Xmas.

Bellanonna Thu 10-Mar-22 08:54:23

Last Christmas I bought mine a donkey, a guide dog and an elephant. I pay a monthly subscription and they get the occasional newsletter. The charity benefits.

nandad Thu 10-Mar-22 09:03:17

Jaxjacky - what a great idea.
The problem with too much choice is that it makes it harder to choose. You get used to seeing things that after a while you become blind to them.
We used to limit and rotate the number of toys our son had out at one time so that every couple of weeks he would get ‘new’ toys to play with and didn’t become bored with them.

Beswitched Thu 10-Mar-22 09:10:50

Yes I agree OP. Every family I know with young children has a playroom nowadays to accommodate the vast amount of toys they own, many of them played with a couple of times and then ignored. I used to contribute to this in our family but realised that so much stuff is wasted and unappreciated. Pantomime tickets at Christmas or a voucher for go karting or a horseriding session on birthdays are far less wasteful than another fancy toy that will be a 5 minute novelty and then thrown aside.

Kim19 Thu 10-Mar-22 09:14:51

Yes far too many but, guilty as charged as I am also a contributor. Don't have an answer. Self indulgent, I guess, but I do so love buying things for them. I'm pretty sure their parents manage to make many things 'disappear' and I can live with that.

Sara1954 Thu 10-Mar-22 09:18:59

I agree, I admit I find it depressing to see so many toys unplayed with.
Before Christmas my daughter took a lot of grown out of toys to her childrens nursery, and we got rid of a lot through the village Facebook page, free to a good home type of thing, but it didn’t seem to make a whole lot of difference.

Sarnia Thu 10-Mar-22 09:27:37

Today's children have far too many toys. I live with my youngest daughter, son-in-law and 2 GD's aged 7 & 8. They have their own bedrooms full of toys and books and a large playroom also stuffed with things. I dust the toys more than the girls play with them. Last Christmas I decided not to buy toys and bought bedding instead. For a birthday next month I have bought a 2 hour animal experience at a nearby adventure park. Growing up I had a second-hand doll's pram, an old saucepan and spoon and a few assorted soft toys, most of them knitted by my Mum. My Dad was a bus driver and he would bring home the discarded bus tickets. I would sit my toys on the stairs and play buses for hours. I often tell my grandchildren about my childhood and get pitying looks in return but I had a great time. I wonder if today's over indulged children can say the same?

Sara1954 Thu 10-Mar-22 09:40:24

I am guilty of buying far too much stuff for them all, but I think part of the problem is the rise of electronic toys.
At eight my son would have been out playing almost all of the time, they built dens, and made BMX tracks, he would come in on Sunday nights filthy but happy, if the weather forced him indoors, he’d spend the day with his Lego.
My grandson could spend the whole day alternating between his iPod, laptop and Switch, if I’m honest, I hate it, he’s obviously not actually allowed to spend his days like this, but he would if he could.

Redhead56 Thu 10-Mar-22 10:14:30

I am guilty I have spoilt our grandchildren I admit it making up for what we did not have as children. Our son has recently insisted that it has to stop and he has told the children why. He reckons they have far too many toys and do not appreciate what they do have.
So as well as clothing and essentials I have always had shipped for refugees in need of help. We are now bagging up toys to go to the local collection centre for Ukraine. I just hope the innocent children caught up in this war will get some comfort from the toys.

MissAdventure Thu 10-Mar-22 10:18:42

I think it's absolutely ridiculous to keep buying more and more toys until they start taking over the house, and aren't appreciated.
I haven't done it, and wouldn't.

Yammy Thu 10-Mar-22 10:34:45

I don't think it matters what grandparents think or do or the example they set when parents were young.
I just look at my own who were brought up by a school teacher. Toy of the shelf when played with packed up and put back before another was chosen. Everything in boxes or baskets.
DH would get a basket of toys if he was in charge and tip it out and they played and scattered everything.
Even he did not learn from my example.
When I visit one of my offspring is exactly like me and all is tidy and the other is like DH toys from "lug to lagging" as they say around here.
They do both read a lot to the children and have done since they were babies and sung rhymes with them. I used to ask what toys they would like and know some were never played with.
Now as they both have very good toy shops near I send money and they like to choose their own. I do still send books on topics they are doing at school especially when DD's request them.
They did when younger like to play with their mummies toys but I'm not sure they would have appreciated them wrapped up as Christmas presents.hmm

Granmarderby10 Thu 10-Mar-22 10:43:12

Jaffacake2 yes I agree and think its’ quite sad that there will be some children with barely any.
Some of the toys my grandchildren have had are incredible and I would have thought I was in paradise if I had such a variety of things to play with.

imo the thing that has done for a lot of toys is iPads etc and computer games: they completely monopolise the watcher/player and often when I am looking after them in their own home I barely hear a sound, not even any squabbles.

They may have been irritating each other, and us, in the car journey home from school to beat the band but once inside the front door it is so quiet you wouldn’t know any kids lived there…
And to think we used to fret about the affect of too much TV ?

Beswitched Thu 10-Mar-22 11:05:25

I remember engaging in a thread on this topic on Mumsnet a few years ago. It started off with people generally agreeing with the OP but then some very defensive parents came on and were quite unpleasant and in one case abusive towards her. It was pretty nasty. The abusive poster was later made some kind of regional moderator shock

Sara1954 Thu 10-Mar-22 11:58:39

I have also found with my grandchildren that they are incapable of playing by themselves.
I’m not saying I never want to play Paw Patrol or Frozen, but all day is a bit much

Hithere Thu 10-Mar-22 12:01:21

Do not bother going back for the remotes - they are lost forever, apart from getting into "this is not my circus/monkeys", intruding where conflict may arise from this action

Yes, too many toys.
Next xmas, birthday, etc, please take this in mind as grandparents and ask the parents what to give.