To have been upset by this encounter today

I have been challenged so many times over the years for parking in a disabled bay with my child who has a disability and it was ALWAYS elderly people doing the aggressive arguing. I used to just show them the badge but all this confrontation over parking is unnecessary.

Thanks Blondiescott for making the point about the need people with buggies have for wide parking spaces. If they have toddlers, being close to the supermarket entrance is helpful in keeping the children safe from inconsiderate drivers

Beswitched interestingly enough it is not illegal to park in a disabled bay. If it is on the road you will be issued with a fine. In private car parks including supermarkets it is different again and the policing is carried out by the supermarket which varies from one supermarket to another. Legally supermarkets have to provide disabled parking as part of the Equalities Act. They do not have to enforce who parks in it. Waitrose don’t as they say they trust their customers. You don’t even have to have a blue badge but some supermarkets such as Tescos’s insist on it so they can see if you are disabled and if not their car parking firm will issue a fine. Sainsbury’s attendants will ask you to move and if you don’t will issue a fine. Aldi issue fines.

Just shows we all have conceptions and misconceptions about disabled and blue badge parking. Parking in a disabled bay if you aren’t is disgusting.

It has never made a lot of sense to me why there are M&C spaces in car parks. Why do young and presumably fit mothers need to be right by the entrances? What I would rather see are more of the wider spaces for the larger vehicles to use but they should not be designated solely for M&C.

25Avalon

Suppose it was the other way round and the young mum unable to find a P&C space took a disabled space instead? I bet the disabled badge holder would have been extremely upset by this and asked her to move. We all need to respect each other. My son was disabled and no way could I now take a disabled space. I would walk miles carrying heavy bags rather than do that. Neither would I take a P&C space. It’s all about knowledge and respect.

You cannot legally park in a disabled space without a blue badge.

Disabled people are entitled to park in P&c spaces. Their need takes priority.

Elless

I have a blue badge and have got used to people abusing the parking places, usually young people with fast cars ?, as previously mentioned, years ago we would struggle, I remember getting the bus with my pushchair, a toddler and a tree I'd bought whilst out shopping! ? Parent and child places should be for parents with toddlers, there's no reason why mothers can push a pram across a car park.

While I totally agree with most of what you've said - with regards to the last part, the parent and child spaces are usually much wider than the normal ones so you can get a baby in a child seat in and out of the car easily. It can be very difficult to get the door open wide enough to get the car seat out in a normal space, especially if the car next to you is parked right on the white line. Modern baby travel systems usually use the kind of seat which simply clicks into the wheeled base, so you need the seat.

Suppose it was the other way round and the young mum unable to find a P&C space took a disabled space instead? I bet the disabled badge holder would have been extremely upset by this and asked her to move. We all need to respect each other. My son was disabled and no way could I now take a disabled space. I would walk miles carrying heavy bags rather than do that. Neither would I take a P&C space. It’s all about knowledge and respect.

It’s allowed for blue badge holders to park in the P&C space if no spaces are available in the disabled bay. They often need the space to get in and out too. My late hubby used to have to get himself in a certain position to get in and out, needing the door wide open to do it. The mother was setting a bad example to her child and should be ashamed of herself. She’s lucky she doesn’t have a disability and having a child with you certainly is not one!

Beswitched

Yes both of my parents needed disabled spaces in their later years. I don't think some people realise how essential they are, and how much more necessary than p&c spaces. The latter are helpful of course, but not the lifeline that disabled spaces are.

No parent should ever use a disabled space as a substitute for a p&c space. The other way around is perfectly justified.

I agree Beswitched.

She was wrong to be so rude. I'm glad you did something about it.

Caleo. The attitude is: ‘I am a mother, make way for me!’ ?

My mother once pulled up someone who had parked in the disabled bay in the village and told her that my father had been unable to attend a barber's appointment because she had taken the only accessible space.

The young woman was all apologies, hadn't realised, so sorry, etc.

The next day her car was parked in the disabled space again. Some people are just despicable.

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

I have a blue badge and have got used to people abusing the parking places, usually young people with fast cars ?, as previously mentioned, years ago we would struggle, I remember getting the bus with my pushchair, a toddler and a tree I'd bought whilst out shopping! ? Parent and child places should be for parents with toddlers, there's no reason why mothers can push a pram across a car park.

Without presuming I know more than I do I may say I have met with the attitude among some young mothers who believe other people owe them an extraordinary amount of help, reverence, and consideration simply because they have young children.

Baggs Thank you for that poem, and it is so true. A useful reminder when we get annoyed with complete strangers. Our whole lifetime is barely the blink of an eye in the great scheme of things, and we never know what problems others may have who are rude to us.
I don’t think that the times I’ve had a run in with a total stranger, I left feeling happier or pleased with myself, but tended to brood on it all day. Not healthy.

I have a blue badge - and would never dream of using this to park in a P&C space.

Far too many people with disabilities and /or elderly seem to think that they must take total priority over everyone else.

Whereas, I would not excuse this young woman's rudeness, she does have a good point. She is 'entitled' to park in a P&C space and probably is on a far tighter time schedule that the blue badge car that used such a space.

I also use a mobility scooter (just the smaller pavement model), again, I am often horrified at the attitude of some (a minority) users of these - often the larger ones - who seem to think that this gives them total right of way on pavements regardless of other pedestrians. I have found that virtually all pedestrians are really lovely and helpful when I am using this on a narrow pathway - many of them even going out into the road or crossing it to give me passage. I ALWAYS give them a smile and a Thank You. I do try to very careful when there are children - do not expect them to get out my way, I try to keep out of theirs.

In the past, I had many small children (beside my own I was a foster parent for many year). I can still remember how difficult supermarkets were with two or three or more of these with me. So, Yes, I have been in all those places (Mum with small children, Carer - my hubbie had MS -now, disabled myself). However, I try to give respect to all of these without arguements.

I agree Patsy70. Anyone can bé going through a stressful time but shouting at other people in public places doesn't help anyone. I remember a man being very sarcastic and calling something rude out of his car window to me a few months ago. He was apparently angry that I hadn't waved a thank you at him for waiting to let me pull out. I hadn't noticed. I'd spent all day sitting with my mother who was dying of cancer and in horrendous pain. She actually died the following day.
He may have been having a bad day, but I was having one of the worst days of my life and he made it just a bit more unpleasant.

The fact that you're stressed really doesn't mean you can unfairly upset someone else.
This man wasn't rude or confrontational. He just obviously needed the space and got there first.

paddyann54 I do understand ‘stress’ believe me. But, as I said, there really is no excuse for rudeness from anyone, whether they’re young or old.

We also need to bear in mind that not all disabilities are obvious. My friend regularly gets abuse for parking in a blue badge space, despite the fact that she does have a blue badge for her teenage daughter, who is autistic and severely visually impaired - yet she's been challenged by people who have told her it doesn't look like there is anything wrong with her daughter!

Someone shared this on my FB recentlyand this thread made me think of it:

The Soul Journey with Sarah Moussa

The journey is short

An elderly woman got on a bus and sat down. At the next stop, a strong, grumpy young woman climbed up and sat down sharply beside the old woman, hitting her with her numerous bags.
When she saw that the elderly woman remained silent, the young woman asked her why she had not complained when she hit her with her bags.
The elderly woman replied with a smile: ′ ′ There is no need to be rude or discuss something so insignificant, as my trip next to you is so short because I am going to get off at the next stop. "
This answer deserves to be written in gold letters: ′ ′ There is no need to discuss something so insignificant, because our journey together is too short. "
Each of us must understand that our time in this world is so short, that darkening with struggles, useless arguments, jealousy, not forgiving others, discontent and an attitude of constant discovery is a ridiculous waste of time and energy.
Did someone break your heart ?. Stay calm.
The trip is too short.
Did someone betray you, intimidate, cheat or humiliate you? Relax. Excuse. The trip is too short.
Did someone insult you without reason ?. Stay calm. Ignore it. The trip is too short.
Did a neighbor comment on the chat that you didn't like ?. Stay calm. Ignore him. Forgive that. The trip is too short.
Whatever the problem someone has brought us, remember that our journey together is too short.
No one knows the length of that trip. Nobody knows when it will arrive at its stop. Our trip together is too short.
We will appreciate friends and family.
Let us be respectful, kind and forgive, we will be filled with gratitude and joy, after all our trip together is very short.
UNKNOWN

I had the reverse happen I was walking two abreast on the pavement at a reasonable pace towards a zebra crossing when I could feel something behind me I was walking on the inside I didn’t turn round but suddenly an elderly man whooshed past me on the inside of the pavement in a large plastic encased mobility scooter he was so close he knocked my arm As we stopped at the zebra crossing I knocked on his window and indicated that he had hit my arm he did apologise but then whizzed off over the zebra crossing without waiting for the green light and nearly knocked a child on the opposite pavement

Having a child, or even four children like I did, is a choice and not a disability. We all have bad days, not just parents.

Those were the days Hetty we either walked or got on the bus with toddlers, pushchairs and shopping! Talk about stress!

ElaineI, I remember (so well) being up all night with baby, toddler having constant tantrums etc. - and walking two miles with four kids - just to get what would fit in a box under the pram! Some people just don't even know they're born!

Does sound like the Mum was OTT but in my area there are way more disabled spaces than P&C spaces and in some places the normal spaces are much further to walk. I use a P&C space with DGC as it is safer and there is so much more to carry even if you don't have a buggy, also the car doors need opening to their fullest to get a toddler out a car seat so I have been annoyed if a blue badge person has parked in one and I have had to park in a smaller space however would not confront anyone. Regarding normal spaces - not everyone who has mobility problems has a blue badge and if they are far away because the nearer spaces are disabled spaces then I have had to hirple to the store getting there in pain and flustered. Regarding the post - if I had parked in the wrong space and been confronted I would have moved. The young mother might have been up most of the night with her child/baby, she might have had to deal with a tantruming toddler or she might have PND - no one knows what someone else has had to cope with in the period before. If I saw that happening - unless there was violence, I would neither intervene nor complain to customer services. chances are they sorted it themselves anyway.