Over sharing….. personal information.

I'm with all who think prudishness is just well mannered. I've had friends who carp on about intimacy and bodily functions and, thb, I blush and/or feel ill. A friend is quick to explain, in detail her bowel movements, mucus from coughs and those of her adult children. It really is too much. Another friend once explained her and her husband 's sex life which was equally as nauseating ; although the comment he never took his socks off caused a smirk. I'm a very private person so this oversharing is uncomfortable for me

One office I worked in when very much younger had a group of half a dozen or so of us and we all talked about our sex lives good or bad pretty much non stop and we all knew an awful lot about each other! Must had been at least 45 yrs ago and would not dream of divulging anything so personal to anybody nowadays.

Though I'm pretty sure you would be more than able to put someone in their place if they overstepped the mark.

I'm not wrong, mummer.
I just perhaps have higher standards than you.
I'm not a sounding board for people to talk at about whatever takes their fancy.
Or, I can be, as I said. £1.50 per minute.

Dick pics disease?

Is that pics disease?

MissAdventure

It is about consent.
Not prudishness.
.if someone talks to another who hasn't consented about sex, it is tantamount to abuse.

Hence younger women complaining about being sent unsolicited dick pics.

Are you sure you know what a 'dick pic' is? It's showing an intention to assault with an offensive........dick?! TALKING about stuff is talking , any adult worth the monicker should be able to say" stfu" if they so choose.youre wrong and a tad hysterical! Abuse indeedy what larks.....

Personal choice as to whether you discuss sex with friends. But being rude about people who make that choice, is, well, rude! There's nothing wrong with you if you want to be open and frank. Equally, there is nothing wrong with you if you want to keep that stuff private.

Each to their own.

It amuses me why the term 'prudish' is bandied about when what should be termed is 'well mannered' or ' not bloody disgusting!' I think a prude is one who faints at the suggestion of minor issues like snogging or a bit of a grope!? Intimate details of a.n.others sex antics is the most boring and irrelevant subject of all to me.ive always found that those who bang(!) On about their so called alleged sex activities are usually those least practiced and desperately need to appear to be getting loads, or at least any ?! I'd politely ask her to keep it to herself as you are not in any position to offer useful solutions!

The friend may be insensitive but certainly not abusive.

* missadventure* no I don’t agree that sending an “ indecent “ image is the same as discussing something intimate with a friend.

AmberSpyglass

If it’s not something you want to discuss, just politely say that. There’s no need to be rude - there’s nothing immoral or shameful about our sex lives, but it’s fine if you don’t want to discuss it. Try and do it without embarrassing her or seeming judgemental though.

A fair response.

Depending on how close the friendship is and what two friends have mutually agreed to discuss either tacitly or by design, the rule of 'consent' also applies here.

We all know that sex is 'natural' and normal. But to a large extent it is still very personal... your tastes, likes and dislikes. Everyone is different.

So to some extent, talking about sex is like the physical act itself and if you are not close enough to the person who is sharing their experiences - and by that I mean close enough to know that the other person won't be offended or be made to feel uncomfortable with what you tell them, you really need to get their permission first. And it can be done quite tactfully, ie, 'do you mind if I share something quite personal with you about my sex life that's bothering me?'

Obviously, if you are really close friends and know each other extremely well, that might not even be necessary, but I get the impression that although the OP has known this person for 10 years and they are "good friends" they are not really 'close' friends in that sense - otherwise the other person would know that what she was saying was making the OP uncomfortable.

There are people who are paid - or who volunteer - to counsel on sexual problems. I doubt anything shocks them or makes them uncomfortable, and they are the best people to talk to - not least because they can offer friendly and practical advice in a non-judgmental environment - and make you realise that your problem, whatever it is, is not unusual nor strange. But we are not all made of such stuff, and a cringing friend is going to be of no use whatsoever.

Aha! So, you agree?
Honestly, it is considered abuse in my line of work, and as I say, if it was a man doing it...?

flowerofthewestx2

I've just asked my sister and good friend to quickly grab the pink bag from my bedside table and pop it in the purple bin when I leave this mortal coil. I've not mentioned what's in it

Well our purple bin is the bottle bin (in our case the jam jar bin ?) flowerofthewestx2
Did you mean the recycling bin? I can just imagine the contents of your pink bag being recycled. ?

and if she persisted knowing I didn’t like it , I probably wouldn’t see her again.

It’s just a matter of opinion. If anyone sent me a photo of their erect penis I would be mortified, but if a friend wanted to discuss her problem with having an orgasm and it made me uncomfortable, I could just say, “ I’m sorry I’d rather not talk about that”

I think that’s hilarious !! I’d simply say I’m not even interested in my own sex life let alone hers !!

I do think it's the same as being sent a dick pic.
If you and a friend enjoy chatting about sex all well and good, but if someone is ill at ease with it, then why would you bring up such subjects?

I've just asked my sister and good friend to quickly grab the pink bag from my bedside table and pop it in the purple bin when I leave this mortal coil. I've not mentioned what's in it

Consent

Discussing sex with a friend ( albeit without warning or concentrate) is hardly the same as being sent a “dick pic”. Look up meaning of prude- and I don’t think one has to apologise for being prudish .

Working in an office full of women in a previous life would embarrass the most open minded folk especially the men in earshot, although it was in general not personalised in any way- well most of the time ?! If you’re not happy with her sexual comments just say with flat hand in front of you TMI.

It is about consent.
Not prudishness.
.if someone talks to another who hasn't consented about sex, it is tantamount to abuse.

Hence younger women complaining about being sent unsolicited dick pics.

Serendipity22

I can honestly say that neither myself nor any of my friends have felt the need to stoop so low.

I have a friend that has been in my life for well over 40 years and never once has sex been discussed, i would feel extremely uncomfortable and i most certainly would NOT engage in conversation about it, my face would say it all, no need for words.

“Stooping so low”???? I really don’t think she is doing anything wrong, but knowing that many people are prudish and do not like to discuss sex, the friend should have asked if you would mind if she put an intimate problem to you. Personally , I have never gone into details about my sex life with friends , although one or two have confided that they are ‘over it’ now. I think many women have been conditioned by their parents into thinking it’s sordid . I am pretty sure that younger women are not so coy.

I would be rather embarrassed .

Most of my English friends don't like to talk about sex .

Two of them are very keen on having affairs and are pretty upfront .

One of them even used to book sessions with her Doctor !

My daughters ( in their forties ) are completely frank about it .

My Indian friends are totally frank about sex .

The first time I was asked about my sexlife at a gentile ladies only afternoon tea - I was mortified .