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AIBU

Over sharing….. personal information.

(137 Posts)
Sago Mon 21-Mar-22 11:06:56

I have a few really good friends, we talk about all kinds of things, I do not talk about my sex life with any of them or vice versa.

I have one friend who I have only known about 10 years and she often talks about very intimate things, she recently told me she had been unable to climax despite trying very hard with her vibrator.

I don’t want to know, I am not a prude but she doesn’t seem to take the hint, I think she is trying to shock or maybe just get a reaction, I say nothing but should I tell her I find it uncomfortable?

Grandmabatty Mon 21-Mar-22 11:09:42

None of my friends would talk about this kind of thing! Maybe I give off prudish vibes, although I don't think so. I would have to stop her when she starts and tell her I don't want to hear.

Shinamae Mon 21-Mar-22 11:10:09

I would just have said too much information ?and changed the subject Or suggested she go on YouTube I’m sure there must be vibrator information on there ??

Antonia Mon 21-Mar-22 11:14:08

I really, really, wouldn't want this kind of information. Some things are private. I would try to deflect her by an inane comment about the weather.

Elegran Mon 21-Mar-22 11:21:15

I'd have told her she was trying too hard, to stop being so serious about it, enjoy whatever she could enjoy, and see her GP if she was still anxious - but added that I wasn't an expert, so it was no use asking my advice, and to be honest I really didn't want to discuss someone else's sex life.

And to be honest about your original post - yes, I think that is TMI. Second-hand sex problems do seem a bit prurient.

MissAdventure Mon 21-Mar-22 11:25:33

I would have to tell her I was too uncomfortable to talk about this kind of thing.
I consider it akin to abuse to be subject to this kind of unsolicited chat, so I would want to give her a chance to tone it down around me.

Honeysuckleberries Mon 21-Mar-22 11:29:29

I think I would have said that my sex life was brilliant, exciting, fantastic and I never had to resort to a vibrator. Perhaps that would shut her up from ever mentioning her sex life again. ?

MissAdventure Mon 21-Mar-22 11:31:51

She might ask for some tips if you said that! shock

PerserverencePays Mon 21-Mar-22 11:32:44

She needs better HRT and different friends who don't mind having that kind of conversation.

Beswitched Mon 21-Mar-22 11:43:01

shock I'd be very uncomfortable if someone started giving me that much information. Totally inappropriate.

MissAdventure Mon 21-Mar-22 11:45:42

I suppose it's appropriate for some people, sometimes, in some circumstances, but if I had the slightest idea that she was trying to shock then I'd be really angry.

AGAA4 Mon 21-Mar-22 11:49:03

Sexual matters should be kept private. It is inconsiderate to others to discuss your sex life as most people would find it uncomfortable. I would let her know you don't want to listen.

nanna8 Mon 21-Mar-22 11:50:57

Just shut her up and say ‘too much information’, that’s what I do with people like that. It happened recently and I just said I didn’t want to hear it. She stopped and, believe it or not, we are still friends.

giulia Mon 21-Mar-22 11:51:28

Antonia

I really, really, wouldn't want this kind of information. Some things are private. I would try to deflect her by an inane comment about the weather.

I think that's the best suggestion.

luluaugust Mon 21-Mar-22 11:51:50

I might have been a bit naughty and asked what a vibrator was grin. Actually knowing my friends I would have been more than taken aback.

ShazzaKanazza Mon 21-Mar-22 11:57:53

My two best friends and I have known each other 45 years and have never once had a discussion like this.
I would have said Whoa two much information and laughed it off I think. Maybe she was hoping you’d share too. I’d wait to see if she says something like that again and then tell her you aren’t comfortable.

Iam64 Mon 21-Mar-22 11:59:35

I wouldn’t want to spend time with someone so lacking in boundaries

Elizabeth27 Mon 21-Mar-22 12:41:01

As you have not told her otherwise she probably thinks you are ok listening to her, how is she supposed to know you do not like it.

FlexibleFriend Mon 21-Mar-22 12:46:56

It wouldn't bother me to be honest but I'd be no use as my sex life has always been good.

Germanshepherdsmum Mon 21-Mar-22 12:49:19

I agree with Iam.

eazybee Mon 21-Mar-22 13:00:19

I have never had this sort of conversation with friends; one group of women I know quite well spent much of their time complaining about their husbands and booted them out of the marital bed in their fifties, so sex didn't appear to be much of an issue. Those who had/ have happy marriages rarely discussed it, and only in the most general terms.
But I like to think I wouldn't be too shocked.

MissAdventure Mon 21-Mar-22 13:35:44

I'm not shocked by any aspect of human sexuality; I could happily talk about it for hours, but the point is that it would be my choice to do so, not just because someone else decides I have to listen to them.

grandtanteJE65 Mon 21-Mar-22 13:39:58

Just tell her you would greatly prefer her to keep that sort of topic private.

If she really needs to discuss it with someone, you feel too embarrassed to help her, which is a reasonable point of view.

She should be able to respect this.

Iam64 Mon 21-Mar-22 13:40:58

I’m not shocked. People talk about all kinds of things. I don’t want to discuss other peoples sex lives

JaneJudge Mon 21-Mar-22 13:46:18

Someone I know has a medical condition that has caused her to have a loss in inhibitions and sometimes she says some really inappropriate things in public, a bit similar to what you have described and we usually just tell her and she apologises.