Taken for granted by our daughter

I don’t think you are over reacting. I doubt if my DD has a clue how much we spend on her and GS. It really does add up but I grin and bear it. I doubt if I ever paid for anything when in the company of my parents.

That seems to me nothing to be so resentful about. Just the odd treat. Isn’t seeing your daughter and grandchildren a huge treat in itself? Something that some posters would give their right arm for. And may I tell you how very lucky you are to have grandchildren. Your daughter may not be as well off as you imagine - there’s no mention of a husband or partner in your posts.

Thanks for the understanding! judging by the rest of the comments on here I think I was probably over -reacting, but caught my meaning. It’s just been one of those days!

My DD used to be very much like this, but I had to just open my mouth and say, “ if we are going to lunch, you will have to pay as I am skint” it works and she will always make sure we know how it is getting paid before we go anywhere!!

Oh dear I think some of you have misunderstood. I regretted posting my message (as soon as it was too late!) but of course I don’t expect to be paid for my help and I do enjoy babysitting - the grandchildren make it all worthwhile! I also love my daughter dearly. By ‘putting a hand in her pocket’ I meant paying for the odd treat when we are all together, rather than it always being our turn, not about being paid for my time!

Please dont attach strings to things

Moving to be closer, shoukd have been your choice and to your benefit.

Apending time with grandchildren should be about special memories not favours owed.

Contributing money should be about giving not recieving.

You are such a wonderful position to watch this little family grow and be a part of it. That wouod be enough for me

My gran, and my mum and dad always slipped me money when my kids were little, and I probably did have more income than them, but I also had lots of expenses. They liked giving it to me and I liked getting it. My mum did the same with my DSs and their kids and I do the same now. I like doing it. I enjoy baby minding as well. If you don't enjoy the childcare don't do it. If you want to be paid for it talk to your daughter and explain. But please don't sit around growing more and more resentful. Either let it go, forget about payment and carry on, or talk to her.

Please do not take this amiss, but if by 12000 miles away you are living where we think, then we actually wonder whether the local attitude has not slightly rubbed off on her? We found it impossible to live there and returned to our family in Europe. It's just our two-pennyworth having resided in the Southern Hemisphere.

What kind of odds and ends are you buying Goldbeater? If it's becoming an issue and causing resentment, you really must speak to your daughter about it. It sounds as though she's comfortably off and possibly just doesn't realise how it's mounting up and causing you financial pressure. Speak to her.

Your move will be mutually beneficial, I’m sure . I don’t know how old you are, but as we get older we like to be near our family. I am lucky that all mine live in the same town as I do. We are not in each other’s pockets. TBH, I live on my own (divorced). I’m not poor, neither am I rich, but I wouldn’t expect my children to “put their hands in their pockets” to re-imburse me for my travelling expenses etc. I think it’s also a culture thing with me. To each his own. I hope you have some great fun times with your grandchildren, regardless.

Were all these things not discussed before you moved? It sounds like you’re surprised....but I would have thought you’d have had all this in place before such a big move,

I am glad you’re settled there though.

I'm not sure what financial contribution you expect? It would help to know. Presumably this relocation was your decision?

I'm sure others will be on with more to add but didn't want to scroll by . I do understand and know what you mean we always paid out for our mums and you sometimes think when is it our turn to be treated ? But you chose to move out there . I just hope your daughter is a bit more appreciative in the future.