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AIBU

Is it appropriate?

(56 Posts)
4allweknow Fri 20-May-22 10:22:49

Dear Daughter died 2019. For the funeral and as per her wishes I bought an outfit I considered she would approve of. DH died last week and his wishes basically the same as DD. The outfit was for me quite expensive and has not been worn since. Would it be considered insensitive to wear the exact same out to DHs funeral.

SueDonim Fri 20-May-22 12:49:50

I’m so sorry for your terrible losses, 4allweknow. Life is rotten at times. flowers

Wearing the same outfit sounds a perfect solution and I’m sure both your dd and Dh would approve.

Grannybags Fri 20-May-22 12:54:42

I agree with everyone else. Perfectly acceptable to wear the same outfit flowers

Wheniwasyourage Fri 20-May-22 12:55:13

How very sad, 4allweknow. I agree that it would be a lovely gesture for you to wear the same outfit. My condolences to you. flowers

Rosie51 Fri 20-May-22 12:56:04

I think it would be in keeping with what I suspect they'd both want. My condolences on your losses, so very hard for you flowers

Visgir1 Fri 20-May-22 12:57:43

Agree, so sorry for your loss. flowers

PollyDolly Fri 20-May-22 12:58:50

Sincere condolences at the loss of your DH. The outfit you wore for your daughters funeral will be perfect for your DH funeral.

Hithere Fri 20-May-22 13:21:21

So sorry for your loss

Totally appropriate

Even if it was not considered so, you have bigger fish to fry right now than thinking about this
You do you!

silverlining48 Fri 20-May-22 13:27:16

I agree with all the above, yes definitely, and send sincere condolences at this very sad time. flowers

ixion Fri 20-May-22 13:32:46

Please wear it, if it brings you comfort. A lovely link reuniting you all.
Please accept my condolences at this very sad time?

Nannagarra Fri 20-May-22 13:56:56

I think it would be highly appropriate to wear the outfit and would like to send my condolences at your sad loss.

SachaMac Fri 20-May-22 14:07:11

Yes wear it, it would be a lovely tribute to them both. So sorry you are going through this flowers

BlueBelle Fri 20-May-22 14:49:25

A big hug from me what a sad time for you I m another vote for yes yes do it please, a family link linking you to them both and them to each other
A lovely idea
Thinking of you ?

Marydoll Fri 20-May-22 14:54:45

My condolences, 4allweknow I am another one, who thinks it is highly appropriate to wear it. ?

grandtanteJE65 Fri 20-May-22 14:58:25

I have one black skirt and jacket that I air whenever I have to attend a funeral.

Like Tanith, I think it is a lovely thought that you would wear the same for both these funerals.

I am truly sorry for your dreadful bereavements.

AreWeThereYet Fri 20-May-22 15:01:17

My condolences too. I would also wear it. Along with something like a scarf in my daughters favourite colour and a ring or brooch given by my husband.

flowers

jaylucy Fri 20-May-22 15:07:16

I see no problem in wearing the same outfit. If you wish to, you could also change a little thing - different blouse, change of handbag, shoes, add an item of jewellery that has sentimental value between you and your husband if you have something.
I doubt if anyone will notice what you are wearing beyond perhaps the colour.
Please accept my condolences at this sad time.

Nannee49 Fri 20-May-22 15:09:13

Totally appropriate 4allweknow may I add my condolences tooflowers.

Your lovely GN name brings to mind the beautiful recording - For all we know by the Detroit Spinners?

Iam64 Fri 20-May-22 15:18:14

Sincere condolences and yes, as everyone else says, it seems entirely appropriate to wear the outfit

Pantglas2 Fri 20-May-22 15:20:55

You’re following both their wishes, who’s going to give you a hard time for doing so?

DiamondLily Fri 20-May-22 15:33:19

I would think it completely ok to wear the same outfit, to the funerals of two people you loved.

Condolences on your loss.?

Oopsadaisy1 Fri 20-May-22 16:15:00

My Condolences to you? and yes it’s totally appropriate, especially as your DH approved of it.

TwiceAsNice Fri 20-May-22 16:51:23

I think it would be very appropriate to wear it again for al kinds of reasons. So sorry for thanksboth your losses

buffyfly9 Fri 20-May-22 19:49:08

Wear the same outfit, it is a lovely link between the three of you. My condolences for your great lossthanks.

cornergran Fri 20-May-22 20:14:47

I’m sorry for your loss 4allweknow. Another here thinking it’s very appropriate to wear the same outfit.

Smileless2012 Sat 21-May-22 09:20:11

My sincere condolences for the loss of of your DH and your D. Wear what ever will help you through this difficult day flowers.