Murderous intent?

When I am an old woman I shall wear purple
With a red hat which doesn’t go, and doesn’t suit me.
And I shall spend my pension on brandy and summer gloves
And satin sandals, and say we’ve no money for butter.
I shall sit down on the pavement when I’m tired
And gobble up samples in shops and press alarm bells
And run my stick along the public railings
And make up for the sobriety of my youth.
I shall go out in my slippers in the rain
And pick flowers in other people’s gardens
And learn to spit.

You can wear terrible shirts and grow more fat
And eat three pounds of sausages at a go
Or only bread and pickle for a week
And hoard pens and pencils and beermats and things in boxes.

What I don't understand is the "she gains half a stone each time" who is monitoring this? Each time she eats a sack-full? But if they are secret how does anyone know. Anyway when I'm 90 be damned if anyone is getting to weigh me!!!

Before she went into a care home in February at 96 my sister and I shopped for Mum for the half a dozen years after she could no longer come with us. She wanted cakes , biscuits sweets and pudding, even though she had medical problems that a better diet may have helped alleviate. We weren’t trying to murder her- 1: she was over ninety, so why not eat what she wanted , and 2: we wouldn’t take away her choice to decide what she would eat

Many years ago I worked on an elderly care ward at our local hospital.
A lovely 93 year old lady was being "encouraged," against her will, to get out of bed and do some physio every week day.
All she wanted to do was sit in bed and eat yoghurt, which was precisely what the weekend nursing staff let her do.

As one of them said, "If you can't sit in bed and eat yoghurt at 93, when can you?"

My late overweight diabetic OH could be said to have committed suicide in the same way. I kept him to a healthy nutritious diet but he went out of his way to shovel as much sugar as he could into his body and refused to take his medication . All this was to let medical professionals understand that they didn’t know what they were doing ; he knew his own body. He died.

Who wants to be wise at 90 years old though ?

It’s not a wise gift for a diabetic, is it really?

Grammygrammy, I do believe you are concerned about the elderly person, and it does seem like an awful lot of sweets. Now that you know this is happening, why don't you portion out the sweets for the elderly person. They will enjoy the gift from the relative, but not so much that it will harm their heath.

Very intrusive to photograph the lady's kitchen plus 'the haul' and then to criticise the ladies adult child on social media - wonder whether her consent was asked for prior to publication.
I would be furious if someone took photographs in my home and criticised my child on the internet for the gifts they had bought me.

Yes, true.
I think it's a matter of balancing out risk vs benefits.

It really isn't much fun to be restricted, at any age, and as I've said, if the person is of sound mind, then it really is her choice.

That is one of the joys of being an adult - not being reduced to having to ask other adults to please allow you to do/have something.

MissAdventure

I don't think that's much, spread out over a year.

It is if you’re diabetic !!

Saggi

I used to visit my 92 year old mum once a fortnight ….I don’t drive and was working full time with disabled husband …..so it’s all I could manage AND afford , as it meant two buses ..a train…and a taxi of 6 miles other end!! Her diet was reasonable … meat/ fish and two fresh veg and the occasional ( twice weekly) cream/ apple turnover , bought in to her by her cleaner/helper. She was not diabetic. But her doctor gave her a ‘diet sheet’ ….as she was only 5’2” and weighed 10 stones! I went one day to find her crying because the doctor said she had to “stop eating cakes”. I asked her a simple question…. did she want to stop eating two apple turnovers per week…. she said “no”. I screwed the diet sheet up and threw it out the window . And before anybody shouts about littering…. It was a gesture….I picked it up. She died 2 years later of old age! I’m content she didn’t ‘eat herself to death’. But instead enjoyed what she liked to eat all her life. We all have a choice … and once we’re passed 70 … people should ‘shut their yaps’ about the way we choose to go out of this world !

I am 92 Saggi and like me your Mum wanted to enjoy what bit of life she had left in her own way.

May she rest in peace.

BlueBelle

Gosh if I get to 90 I ll probably drink ? by the bottle eat whatever I fancy and dance the light fandango
Anyone joining me ?

I'm in

If she was being forced to eat the sugary treats maybe but she’s not.
If she’s obese she’s probably managing to get plenty of foods she shouldn’t eat or very large quantities of food im any case.
Is she able to purchase her own shopping ?
And tbh she’s 90 she may as well enjoy herself at this point. Good on her for reaching such an advanced age with her life style and illness!

I used to make my mum a little lunch box full of nice bits and bobs to eat.
She enjoyed it more than a microwave meal, and given her terrible, terrible disabilities, was the least of her worries, I think.

My grandfather used to cajole each of my aunts (5 of them) to buy him chocolate and he had a huge stash locked away in his bureau. Not sure how much of it he ate, but he enjoyed getting the key so he could give some squares to his many grandchildren when they visited. Maybe this 90 year old lady does the same??
Also, my dad smoked from the age of 14, whenever we suggested giving up he'd say that he'd rather enjoy his old age with his fags and booze than give them up and be a grouchy old man for even longer!
I also agree with others that if you get to 90 you can jolly well eat whatever you fancy! I certainly would!

You got close enough to take the phoito... and yet you said the sweets are "hidden around the house"... So, who hides them, after you took the photo? The weight gain is not after the two binges, for sure; she would have gone into a hyperglycemic coma if she ate them all at once. Something is not quite right in this story...

They are feeders Monica enablers, people pleasers, there is a reason a and b are together
I believe the little doctor is Iranian and now aged about 78 I m not sure if they are old programmes or if he’s still working Dr Now (Nowzaradan) seems to have done a lot of good work with extremely obese people and doesn’t take any nonsense
I sometimes used to watch if there’s was nothing on

#windup

The OP seems to have disappeared into the distance.

Your post hard to understand. Exactly who brought/bought what to whom and is 90 yr. old of sound mind and acting of free will?

Once in awhile I watch an American series about people who weigh 600lds plus (mainly because of the weird doctor, tiny, died dead black hair and a expressionless face)

One of the things I notice on these programmes, is how often the gross over eating is enabled by close relatives.

If you weigh 600lbs and are bed-bound, you are entirely dependent on others for everything you consume. And so often, the carer is constantly presenting the grossly obese individual with more and more food.

One episode I saw, where the victim was losing weight well, once they were mobile, they moved out of home because he said his mother was constantly encouraging him to eat.

Yes you are unreasonable. If you have a problem with this, You obviously have access to her home, then report it to the relevant authorities . You have no right to put this on social media.

My friend thinks the world of her 93 year old mum, and she alternates daily visits to her with her brother. Mum has put some weight on in the last few years, partly due to mobility problems. She still bakes cakes and bread, and eats her share. She also enjoys biscuits, chocolate and fruit juice, which her family buy for her.
They most definitely are not trying to kill her off, but allowing her to enjoy what is left of her life.

Would you listen to lectures on what to eat in your mid 80 s I ll eat drink and do what I want if I reach that age