School reports

My parents never saw one report I had from school. I destroyed and forged my mother's signature when they asked if parents had seen the report. It was just so bad I had failed every exam so I never took it home. I never ever told them about it either even as a an adult.

I think this is a privacy issue. By this age, it should be up to him whether he wants to share his grades with anyone beyond his parents and teacher.

I know you said your grandparents saw your grades, but why do you feel you need access to this information? Unless you are supervising their education, how does this information affect your relationship with them?

I would never think of asking to see my GC school report. To be honest, it’s none of our business! We had our children, these aren’t ours.

Oh dear. As others have said it is not a right and your GS is their child and not yours. I'm sorry being a grandmother I would never expect to see things like this, if they want to share then it is upto them. It is hard to step back but you must do. When your son visits you need to enjoy the time and not bring the subject up, they will tell you if they want too.
Hope you have a wonderful visit with family. Xxx

Too much emphasis is being put on percentages & remarks on a school report. There is so much more involved in rearing a well balanced individual.

Daisy79

I think this is a privacy issue. By this age, it should be up to him whether he wants to share his grades with anyone beyond his parents and teacher.

I know you said your grandparents saw your grades, but why do you feel you need access to this information? Unless you are supervising their education, how does this information affect your relationship with them?

Just curiosity! He’s my grandson. We’re all interested in education in our family, so things like reports and marks have always been discussed openly.. I didn’t ever ask to see them, but they were forwarded to me as a matter of course. We didn’t think of reports or exam marks as private. However, this boy is going through a moody stage (not unusual at 13!), so we have to tread carefully.

I had a visit from my son this afternoon, and he offered to show me the report, but I said no, just in case the boy would mind. We had a general discussion about it and many other things, and I feel happier about it.

They are thinking of sending him to a different school, so knowing his level of ability is important. He feels overburdened in the very selective school he’s at now, and obviously I was curious to know what the school thought. It really isn’t so very extraordinary!

I should add that I didn’t bring the subject up. My son wanted to discuss it with me.

I agree bernie just enjoy your visit with your son and have no expectations or demands You say your son doesn’t want you to see them and that’s the end of it
To feel ‘snubbed and hurt’ is really your problem and you need to manage these feelings and realise it’s time to mentally move on

Sounds like something bad has happened and your son is coming to tell you about it face to face?

M0nica

I have never seen my grandchildren's school reports. it would never occur to that I should.

This, Its not a right you are the Grandparent not the parent.

I have never seen my GCs school reports , nor would I expect it. Grandma 70s please don't feel snubbed over this , school reports good or not so good are private and for the eyes of children
and their parents.

GraceQuirrel

Sounds like something bad has happened and your son is coming to tell you about it face to face?

Not the case, I’m glad to say. He came because it’s the last chance of a visit before they leave for a long visit to France.

I have never seen my gd’s report nor have I ever discussed my children's reports with my parents nor would I expect to. I just do not understand these grandparents who see this and everything else as their right. It is your children's life not yours

Grandma70s
Stop trying to justify yourself. If it's something that's always happened then of course you would wonder why.
Every family is different. I hear from both my daughters at least once a day if I didn't I would phone them (shock horror!!)
I realise I am very lucky but it is just the way it is. By the was I also get to hear about school reports & my eldest GC is 17

The most important thing is to love and be supportive of your son. I have two married sons who each have two children. It never occurred to me to see report cards but they did tell me about one child having reading problems. We offered to pay for a tutor and they accepted. The tutoring helped.
I have sometimes felt hurt and left out because one of them spends more holidays with his wife's family but I haven't told him that. He is very loving towards me and I adore his children and they love me and their grandpa, so I have to remind myself of that when I feel down.

By the way none of the actions are forced on any of us. We choose to see how we all are.

Shock horror indeed Kate!!

That was auto not me Kacee sorry

My proud daughter shared younger granddaughter’s outstanding school report. I praised it etc but didn’t ask after the older one’s report.

The 13 year old should have a large say in who sees their school report. I’d never assume I’d see my grandchildren’s school reports. Ours are primary and pre school and their parents sometimes put the reports on our family WhatsApp group. I’d never expect this but it’s kind to share them. As the move into top juniors or high school, id respect the wishes of the children and their parents

Guess we're a weird family then.
We all go on holiday together too but I expect that will change when the GC want to go away with friends.

Gawd! Interfering old bat.

Glad that you've seen and spoken to your son Grandma70s and feel happier about it now.

It's understandable that having always see your GS's school reports, you would wonder why this one wasn't passed on and I think you did the right thing, saying you didn't want to see it when your son made the offer later.

Families do things differently and just because other GP's never see their GC's school reports, doesn't mean it's wrong if others do.

I read Grandmothers response and have empathy.
Not easy when the children are in the wrong academic setting. The child’s needs must be met. I’m against Grammar schools for this reason.
Hope it works out for all concerned.

I'd never ask to see school reports that are not of my own children.