I have family in New Zealand and one of their youngsters arranged to come and stay with us for a week. He was due to leave today but a couple of days ago he went down with what seemed like a cold. He spent most of yesterday in bed and has now had a positive Covid test.
It's been a busy and frankly not terribly rewarding week. He just sits around on his phone all the time if we don't organise something to do. The weather's been pretty awful and he hasn't seemed to be interested in anything I or my DH have taken him to. I've asked him a few times what his plans are when he leaves us and there don't seem to be any, which is concerning.
My DH is still suffering from side effects of Covid earlier in the year and is very worried about contracting it again, so has asked that our visitor wear a mask when in the same room as either of us. We'll wear them too. Visitor has gone back to bed and hasn't roused when I've knocked.
Obviously we're not going to chuck him out when he's ill, but as his next stop is likely to be London, and as getting to London over the weekend (and finding somewhere to stay) is going to be complicated by the funeral on Monday, I think we're probably not going to be bidding him goodbye till Tuesday — which makes my heart sink.
But no one’s doubting you or your hosting Margaret maybe the young man didn’t feel well from the start, as he’s now down with CoviD
Maybe he’s just not one of your successes, don’t dwell on it He ll be moving on soon and don’t invite him again
Life is made up of successes and failures it wasn’t your failure it just didn’t fit
Grammaretto
Yes wildswan a good suggestion -a reminder that you have a life even if he doesn't seem to.
Are his parents close relatives Margot?
His mum's my cousin. She and her husband spent a couple of years in the UK and we had holidays together in Europe and weekends away all over the UK when we were all younger. They were good guests. We have FaceTime sessions three or four times a year, and WA chats every week or two.
They travelled to the UK overland via China in the 90s, and went back via South America. Their son doesn't seem to have that level of interest in the world.
Let's hope it's not going to be long covid. 
If he has suspected covid he should not be going anywhere until he is feeling better. If he has tested then he should isolate for 5 days from the day after testing. He sounds like a normal 23 year old and if he is not well then just make sure he has drinks and food as required. I felt bad for 3 days - couldn't have gone anywhere - then felt ok after that. At that time you had to have 2 negative tests before going out. If he tested today then shouldn't go anywhere till Tuesday.
As far as I'm aware in this part of the UK there are very few requirements for those with Covid. They suggest you isolate but there's no compulsion if you feel okay. There's also nothing about having to have two clear covid tests before venturing back out into the world that I can see.
He's actually just taken himself off out for a walk. The sun's shining and it's a beautiful day and he spent most of yesterday in his room. We're in the countryside so he can keep well away from anyone he encounters. I presume he'll also take the opportunity to speak to his friends. Our house is quite open plan and it can be difficult to have a private conversation.
With luck he will disappear quietly and quickly. He must know he's outstaying his welcome.
I don't know. A few days ago I found him a highly recommended London hostel that has a room available from Tuesday and he said he'd investigate. When my partner asked him gently whether he'd booked it or come up with an alternative he went very quiet and eventually admitted he hadn't. He had a chat with me while I made dinner and just dropped into the conversation that he's waiting till a contact of his who's been away returns to London: he's hoping he'll be able to sleep on the floor there. I asked when the friend was due back in London and he didn't know.
My partner is growing increasing fed-up with the situation. We can't just accommodate him until a free bed space in London becomes available. You can't expect to travel the world for free, surely?
The bad news is that I've developed a low fever and have what feels like the start of a cold, so I may have caught Covid from him. My partner is spending 23 hours a day in another room to avoid me and my visitor...
I think some plain speaking may be in order Margot, otherwise you’ll still have a ‘guest’ this time next week, if not longer.
Could you contact his parents and explain the situation? They may be able to speak to him more firmly than you are able to do.
MargotLedbetter
As far as I'm aware in this part of the UK there are very few requirements for those with Covid. They suggest you isolate but there's no compulsion if you feel okay. There's also nothing about having to have two clear covid tests before venturing back out into the world that I can see.
He's actually just taken himself off out for a walk. The sun's shining and it's a beautiful day and he spent most of yesterday in his room. We're in the countryside so he can keep well away from anyone he encounters. I presume he'll also take the opportunity to speak to his friends. Our house is quite open plan and it can be difficult to have a private conversation.
These are the Scottish Government suggestions. You only need 2 negative tests if you work in NHS.
How come your Darling husband has now become your partner?
As he has Covid, I don't think booking into a hostel is the best cause of action. You have obviously now been exposed, whereas trying to get him into a London hostel (while still ill) is deliberately exposing a lot of other people (especially as London is now so crowded), and that doesn't sit right.
You are in an unfortunate situation, but it won't last forever.
As he’s had covid since Tuesday this week and the hostel booking is Tuesday next week that’s 2 days over the recommended 5 days Jaylou
Speak to his parents.
He was due to leave this Thursday so he should be prepared to leave when he is negative for covid.
He can't expect to just hang on indefinitely until he can scrounge somewhere to stay for free.
BlueBelle
How come your Darling husband has now become your partner?
Ouch! Why so rude?!
How long is he planning to travel around Europe/the world for? I wonder is he getting a bit fed up and homesick if he doesn't have any firm plans.
Can you have a chat with him over the weekend- if he doesn't know what he's doing next, maybe he should just go home?
He’s probably broke too. Unwelcome, unwell and broke. I don’t mean to sound rude but probably is feeling the vibe.
I m not being rude Argy I certainly didn’t mean it that way it puzzled me, it was an observation , the poster referred to DH in her first post then halfway down talked about her ‘partner’ most people don’t call their husband a partner or vice versa
It intrigued me
He was very welcome when he arrived, dogsmother. I'd taken annual leave from work to be around, take him out and about (we live quite rurally and it's difficult to get anywhere without being able to drive) and so on — as we would with most guests. We cancelled a planned weekend away to accommodate him when he contacted us.
Talking to him over dinner last night (main, sides and pudding with wine or beer) it would seem that he's had four months of wandering around Europe on buses and trains with various groups of young people. Now he's come to the UK and the people he thought he'd meet up with in London aren't there, the person he sofa-surfed with for a week asked him to move on (so he came here) and he has no idea what he's going to do next.
I've asked about his financial situation and he says he has money but he doesn't want to waste it on unnecessary accommodation. He was eating his third helping of apple crumble at the time and was a bit disappointed because we've run out of ice-cream...
Maybe suggest he head for southern Europe - Spain or Portugal? Probably more young people around and much cheaper. I think he definitely needs a few firm signposts!
If he'seating that amount of food last night I would say he is well on the way to full recovery. You should be honest and tell him you now need your own space and to get on with your life. You have given him a safe,nurturing space, checked that he has enough money and it is now time that he respects your needs..take him to the nearest bus station... asap
I’m beginning to feel rather sorry for this young man - probably tired, feeling rough, miles from home and friends- one of my second cousins from Australia landed on us once - and because we were all the same family - albeit a bit distant- he treated our house as his home- He did much the same as this guy is doing Margot- then many years later, I had the same from my own children - eg dumping wet towels on the floor, leaving bags and stuff all over the place etc and now grandchildren on the phone or screen most of the time - not very communicative- it must be difficult not having an endgame but perhaps when he feels better and when you do, you can sort something out. Good luck.
He's had a breathing space of family-type accommodation with Margot.
Now he needs to pull himself together, realise this is not his family home and decide what to do next.
Has he discussed it all with his parents? I think he and/or you should do that, Margot.
Bearing in mind that Margot's DH is having to hide away while still unwell from his attack of covid and that Margot may yet become ill with it.
why are you waiting on him if he is not that ill with covid he should be doing his own washing he may be related but he is also an adlt and if it was agreed he would be staying for a week then once he tests ok ask him when he intends to leave if he will not give an answer then tell him when he must leave sorry but the longer you pander to him the longer he will stay
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