Guest has come down with Covid...

Don't be guilted into the parent's emotional blackmail. If they are concerned about him then they need to send him money either to go back to NZ or to subsidise him while he lives in UK. He is their responsibility and if he is becoming depressed then he needs to be back with people who care, his family not you. Obviously he misses your home cooked meals, full fridge and laundry service all gratis. Who wouldn't? His London and Newcastle "friends" don't supply this so naturally he wants to be back in your warm and cosy nest. The suggestion to send an e-mail to him, copied to his parents outlining in no uncertain terms he can't come back to your home and the UK is not really the place for him with the recession, high rents and Winter all happening etc. is really good. Not being direct will just make him and his parents keep contacting you.

I third the suggestion of an email.

Personally I would not email him or make any contact as I think he would see that as you being prepared to help him out. He seems to have enough nerve to just turn up on your doorstep and guilt you into taking him in again.

By all means answer him if he contacts you but you do need to make it very clear he has to stand on his own two feet. I find it incredible that he will not pay for accommodation. That is part of travelling.

Time he realised he is a man not a child and with that comes responsibilities.

Just got caught up; thank goodness he has gone! And good for you for saying no to any further stay for him. Honestly, he needs to start acting like an adult, and his parents trying to arrange his life will be no help to him.

Adding on to the tab just shows his selfishness; both he and his parents most likely have no idea why people aren't welcoming him with open arms.

Young people travel around now in a way we never did. It is very casual but the girl who is staying with me (gratis) is leaving today to stay with a "friend" in Glasgow.
It used to be couch surfing but now that organisation has gone corporate you have to pay for membership, there is another platform called Trust roots and yet another called Be Welcome where accommodation is offered free.
www.trustroots.org
www.bewelcome.org

She and the boy who was sick, have now painted my kitchen ceiling so I am grateful to them both. She cooked us a meal last night and tidied up nicely.

BTW Margot I am not suggesting that you should join, it is for your guest who had already overstayed his welcome.

I've messaged him with those links. Thank you. I would have hoped that having bummed around for four months with other young people he's already have been aware of them, but I do wonder if he's one of those 'head in the clouds' types. He's the youngest child and used to everyone picking him up when he falls over.

Other friends with sons his age tell me I was his substitute mum while he was here and so he expected me to just look after him, particularly because he was unwell. In his head he had this idea that I was here to provide what he needed and who wouldn't mind him buying whitebait on my tab. He didn't see me as an adult with my own agenda, my own work and life.

I can't quite get my head around it. I stayed with various relatives for a couple of days here occasionally as a child and occasionally in my teens too and I was always dispatched by my mum with the words 'Don't be a nuisance, don't put them out, eat what you're given and say thank you, offer to wash up and if you see something you can do to help, volunteer.' This doesn't seem to have happened with my visitor. No wonder we struggled.