I know I shouldn't interfere......

Three of my grandchildren live in the country, they live about five minutes away from us.
They have very full social lives, swimming, gymnastics, cubs, rugby, none of them less than five miles away, and some up to fifteen, but we juggle it all between us, and it works.
All three out of the school catchment area, due to oldest child setting her heart on a school about eight miles away, but we did it with our children, and it just seems normal.
But when my city grandchildren visit, suddenly there’s nothing to do. Everything is boring, the nearest town is rubbish, the nearest cinema is fifteen miles away, there isn’t a Hollister for fifty miles!
But then they go home, and the local children settle back into their country lives.
I do think they have a lot of advantages, but it’s not all perfect.

When I married, I moved from the inner city to this house, which is literally in the sand dunes facing the sea. I thought the nearby small town incredibly boring, although it suits me now.
However, when asked, my DS said he had an idyllic childhood here, same for DD. That didn’t stop him moving to the city at the nearest opportunity!
My rural holidays with an aunt were idyllic, but I remember the local village children being extremely jealous of my city life.
Children had more freedom then, and I roamed shops, galleries and museums unheeded. There are minuses and plus’s on both sides.
The main thing is not to interfere.

I moved with my young son to a city for work when I was widowed and in retrospect regretted leaving our many friends.
Although our life improved financially our social life didn't and though I love all the city offers culturally I miss the friendliness of small town country living.. my son now chooses to live in a city but I think would have preferred to have stayed in the countryside as a child.... needs must... there are always pros and cons

kircubbin2000

I dont think they will move to the middle of nowhere, probably a small town.

Your worries are likely to be unfounded then.

I would never have chosen to bring my own family up in a polluted area.
The other worries can be overcome.

It’s easy - if you know you shouldn’t interfere - then don’t.

It is really not up to you or your husband, it's your daughter and her husband to decide where they live. They are adults and I would have thought would not be happy if your start interfering in their decision to move. I don't give my opinions unless I am asked, my children are in their 40s and are quite capable of making informed choices without my in put.
We all have our own opinions and I do on my grandchildren but I do not voice them because it's not my place to do so. I would not have been happy if my parents in law had tried to push their opinions on me at all.

I'm sympathetic to the O/P as I suffered greatly losing my friends when I was 11 because of a move.

That was quite young I think to feel that. Children make key attachments to friends at different ages and I would very much hesitate to move teenagers.

But kircubbin2000 its not your business unless for example the children have expressed to you and not to parents, when you might have a quiet word. By all means if it comes up in general conversation share how you felt at that age, but not to advise them they are doing something wrong? it may be the children are happy for it, all are different.

My niece was brought up in a commuter town while her dad worked in London. Her first job was in central London and she and her DH bought a small flat there It was fine until their DC began school and now, guess what, they moved back to her childhood town, close to her parents and she commutes to the big smoke as her dad did.
She manages to work from home a couple of days a week.
Her DH has a local job.
Everyone finds their own solutions and no one choice is the only perfect one.

My DD lives very rurally. Everything is a car ride away. There's a school bus but after school activities can become a chore.
I cannot help much except in school holidays.