True friend or not ?

No excuse really, a text takes a minute. I wouldn’t contact her and she would be off my Christmas list. There are givers and takers in life, she sounds self centered. Get well and dont stress the small stuff, you haven’t missed much.

As sazzl says, maybe she is ill.
Perhaps a short text saying you are wondering if she is all right as she hasn't been in touch. And if she is all right, you will know where you stand.

GrauntyHelen

You aren't coming over well tome here You sound like you treated this lady as a charity case and felt she should be beholden to you I wouldn't enjoy that type of friendship and would take this chance to make a natural break from you

GrannyHelen , how awful for you to reply in what you say , if I’d have met you a year ago no way would I give you a second glance with your attitude . So glad id not made a friend out of you, you sound really awful . Have you no heart or compassion ?

OmaforMaya

GrauntyHelen

You aren't coming over well tome here You sound like you treated this lady as a charity case and felt she should be beholden to you I wouldn't enjoy that type of friendship and would take this chance to make a natural break from you

Well GrauntyHelen you don't come over as being a very nice person by saying what you did. I'm glad you're not my friend.

OmaforMaya Certainly agree with you on that one . With friends like GruntyHelen who needs enemy’s !

There are some people who have a horror and impatience of listening to sad stories. Especially illness and in being guilted into having to look after or even spend time with someone unwell. I am like that myself. I very rarely visited people in hospital (even my own family) and used to make myself "difficult to contact" in the days before smart phones. Perhaps your friend is squeamish in that way and dreads being drawn into an illness saga even though you would not seek burder her.

Thank you everyone for your kind replies , at least I’m not the only one who feels she is not much of a friend . I were surprised she sent me a Get Well card also a message to give me her new landline number . But , I suppose I just don’t feel the same anymore , she did know I were very poorly in hospital as I’d sent her message to tell her , but her total lack of care & thought in the two weeks I were in hospital brought it home to me that she were not the friend that I thought that I’d had . Maybe I’m wrong , I don’t know .

biglouis

There are some people who have a horror and impatience of listening to sad stories. Especially illness and in being guilted into having to look after or even spend time with someone unwell. I am like that myself. I very rarely visited people in hospital (even my own family) and used to make myself "difficult to contact" in the days before smart phones. Perhaps your friend is squeamish in that way and dreads being drawn into an illness saga even though you would not seek burder her.

Yes, can see your point of view , but , I feel that if your a good friend then you would be there for one another , as to me, that’s what having a good friendship is all about . My late Aunty Jean would always say ‘ if you find just one good friend in this life then you are blessed “ .

Friendship is a complex relationship and can't really be analyzed in one dimensional terms like giving and taking. It undoubtedly has elements restimulating feelings about very early relationships like mother/child or siblings and these feelings may be unconscious yet powerful, having an effect on adult friendships.