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Neglected At Party

(91 Posts)
AiryFlyingFairy Sun 04-Dec-22 17:09:22

Attended friend's birthday party on Friday night. The party started at 7pm and we got there at 8.15. This was as I'd been abroad & back home that afternoon so it was a big rush to get there.
I had messaged friend to tell her we were running late but would get there ASAP
Anyway myself and Hubby arrived there to find all the food had finished. Also no seats.
A few other guests arrived even later so they didn't have seats/food either.
The venue wasn't large so she should have noticed must guests left without tables.
To add insult to injury, the 'Lucky Guests' were seated at tables with drinks, chocolates/ sweets. We didn't get any.
She is a friend of 20+ years & I'm disappointed she didn't look after us better.
Just writing this to get it out of my system/moan really.
She's just messaged me to saying Thanks for coming. Hope you enjoyed it.
Not sure how to respond.
Please tell me your neglected at party experiences!

denbylover Sun 04-Dec-22 17:24:37

Let it go, life’s too short to worry. And don’t forget you were late arrivals.

eazybee Sun 04-Dec-22 17:32:58

Just message back saying lovely to see you, sorry we were late, had a great time, can't believe you are (the age) you are!

You surely aren't thinking of having a moan?

Harris27 Sun 04-Dec-22 17:35:42

Just let it go. You were invited and it isn’t worth the hassle to complain.

Forsythia Sun 04-Dec-22 17:36:22

Your friend was probably up to her eyes with friends and family and she couldn’t regulate what the guests were eating and drinking and why should she? Either go late and accept the consequences or don’t go at all.

FlexibleFriend Sun 04-Dec-22 17:41:32

I guess that what happens when you turn up late, hey ho.
It wasn't your birthday so why the fuss?

BlueBelle Sun 04-Dec-22 17:45:30

You were an hour and a quarter late so you can’t really complain although I understand it wasn’t your fault if there were only limited drinks, chocolates I guess they had been used up by then, not sure why there wasn’t enough seats for the number invited unless a few strays turned up before you
Not worth making a fuss as you were very late if you d been there on time and got nothing then it would have been worse

Blossoming Sun 04-Dec-22 18:27:20

I can understand your feelings but I don’t think there’s anything you can do except let it go. Just send a reply thanking them for the invite.

Alioop Sun 04-Dec-22 18:41:18

I'm sure she was busy with the guests who had already arrived and didn't think to leave food aside for later. I'd of just nipped to a takeaway on way home if you were hungry. Just thank her for her invite whether you enjoyed it or not, you will be glad you did in a couple of weeks time, that's a long friendship, hold on to it.

Hithere Sun 04-Dec-22 18:41:27

Maybe she thought you wouldn't make it after all?

How did she greet you otherwise?

Honestly, too many people in a party to catch up properly with friends - one on ones are better, imho

If this is the first faux pas, I would let it go.
If not, I would reexamine my expectations with the friendship

Wyllow3 Sun 04-Dec-22 19:10:50

Agree with Hithere

how about,

"thank you for the invite, it was nice to see so many people"

suitably ambiguous.

MissAdventure Sun 04-Dec-22 19:13:06

Very good idea, there.

kittylester Sun 04-Dec-22 19:27:22

How old are you, OP? Do you read any of the threads where people have real problems?

Gingster Sun 04-Dec-22 19:31:58

This happened at my friends party a few years ago.
We were on time with a lot of others but not much food on offer. Plenty of drink but food run out quickly. Mutual friends had a terrible journey there, through London and lots of road closures, consequently arriving late. Nothing for them to eat. I felt so bad for them .
The party took place in their rather large house, money no problem so why didn’t they cater appropriately. Rather have too much than too little.

Gingster Sun 04-Dec-22 19:33:43

The lovely thing about gransnet, Kitty is having wide and varied threads.

MissAdventure Sun 04-Dec-22 19:38:14

I've just remembered going to a barbeque where there was no food to be had.
They'd eaten it all, and half washed and wiped up when we arrived. blush

MawtheMerrier Sun 04-Dec-22 19:44:38

We’re you guests of honour at the party?
Then I’m afraid being so rude as to turn up half way through the evening -even with a reason- you can’t complain that you were “neglected”.
I imagine your friend had invited lots of other friends and as late arrivals it’s just your bad luck the other guests had eaten the food and presumably drunk the wine!
(Do people not mingle and mill around at parties any more? In my day nobody sat down and you were either served your drinks as you chatted or helped yourself from the bar )

Forlornhope Sun 04-Dec-22 19:51:13

OP ‘Please tell me your neglected at party experiences!‘

I was one of two families - I think there were eight of us - that arrived simultaneously at a much larger family New Year gathering, held in an aunt’s large holiday let, at 12.30 pm as requested on the invitation. We joined everyone else as they were just starting on their pudding! ‘The children and Aunty J were hungry and couldn’t wait’ we were told. My sister had been allocated the cheese and biscuits to bring but my salads mostly returned with us. To this day we wonder why we were so polite!

AiryFlyingFairy Sun 04-Dec-22 19:56:44

I have replied thanking them and saying had a lovely time.
I had explained in advance I would be late due to the flight being late! In fact I had changed my arrangements so I could make the party. I had run myself ragged to be there.
I feel really stupid about all this. Please ignore me. 1st world problems.

MissAdventure Sun 04-Dec-22 20:05:52

Don't apologise.
Sometimes you need a neutral point of view (or several) to mull things over in your own mind.

BlueBelle Sun 04-Dec-22 20:09:45

Ahh don’t beat yourself up airy you ve done the right thing by thanking them it’s all over bar the shouting you probably felt worse about it as you were tired and felt disappointed
Put it behind you here’s to the next time
I can’t remember the last time I went to a party 😳they don’t come along often at my age

Hithere Sun 04-Dec-22 20:13:25

I was invited to a party and a candidate boyfriend was driving me there

He forgot I existed 5 minutes after arriving there and wouldnt detach from his best friend- another girl

I honestly couldn't stop laughing and met lots of nice people

I later talked to a classmate and he did the same thing to her

JaneJudge Sun 04-Dec-22 20:15:06

i have loads of problems and i would have still been annoyed, if that helps?

MissAdventure Sun 04-Dec-22 20:22:39

You might even be more annoyed than usual, with this problem on top of all your other ones.

LRavenscroft Sun 04-Dec-22 20:31:13

In the noughties I travelled from the south to the very north of England to a friend's wedding. It was in a very old castle. They ran out of food so we had cheese wotsits. There was no heating so I spent the reception in my yachting jacket. Funnily enough it is the one wedding we still laugh about.