The empty nest syndrome?

My daughters are 22 & 20 & have both left home.
One thing I noticed when they were teenagers, was that because of phones/laptops & the internet, all their entertainment was in their bedroom, so no need to come in the lounge & socialise & watch tv.
And no need to ask you for advice, they just used Google or messaged their peers.
I wonder if this 'self-sufficency' means we as parents, have kinda missed out on that final step, which makes the empty nest syndrome worse? just my ponderings...

I would not suggest you plan "nice things to do" for when she comes back for visits. I can guarantee she won't want to do them and you will then feel you have missed out!

You do have a bad dose of empty nest nightrose
It sounds awful - like a physical illness
Try not to let it overwhelm you.
It could be an opportunity to develop new interests. A cliche but true.

Our 4 all left and one emigrated. It wasn't sudden because university meant they came home for holidays but now, years later and widowed that I sometimes wonder at how much my life has changed and I am alone.
The DC are all in contact with me and with eachother but they are approaching your stage. The DGC are choosing their subjects, planning their futures. Life goes on.
I hope I can reassure them that it gets better. Daily life once so hectic, slows down a bit and you have time for yourself.

I wonder if it feels different if you have more children who leave one-at-a-time or have a single child (or maybe two who are close in age) who are there one day and (sort of) gone tomorrow?

Just wondering. I had 5 children and the youngest two still needed me when the first left for university.
Obviously I missed them but it didn't stop me functioning.

I haven't looked for academic studies on this. Just a thought.

I'm sorry you are finding things difficult Nightrose I would hazard a guess that your daughter leaving home was just a final straw for you. Menopausal symptoms and depression could account for your feelings now. Talk to your Dr or specialist Nurse, there is help out there.

I felt exactly the same way when my first of 3 children left for college. I was depressed for 4 months. I couldnt understand why I was feeling so bad when I still had a high schooler and middle schooler at home. As time passed it got easier and I made it a point to visit my children at college several times a year and stayed in Air B and B's with my boyfriend and or friends. There were so many things to do off campus and to explore. My children loved hanging out and doing things they didn't do with their friends. My kids have moved back home and left again until they found permanent jobs and homes. This August my youngest son will move on to graduate school and move into the house he bought. I am expecting to be depressed again because I already have rough times and cry a lot. I still work full time and help my elderly parents but my boyfriend, friends, dog, and hobbies get me through life. I look forward to visiting my children and having them come home to visit me but its a huge and difficult change that noone prepared me for. Even though its been 10 years the sadness never disappears, it just hides until something brings it out again. I wish you the best. Debbie