Neighbour refuses to wish anyone HNY

Leave her be. Grief is unique to the individual and takes time and more time.

Mawthemerrier well said
Poor woman is maybe rather stuck sounds like and xmas and new yr can be overwhelming when grieving & bottling it
Please don't judge she is getting out of bed!! That's the main

All you can do is Be Kind & try sympathetic to what brought it about
Maybe deep down she is protecting herself as if she opens up to giving out good wishes she is then in emotional sadness again
....I text my wishes which I know are sincere as can do that in automated fashion not emotionally
It's awful hard when grieving and needing to put on a face, exhausting at times. She will heal in her own way

Sorry me again
Florentine higlighted importance of crying and letting emotion out, not stuffed behind brave face. This is how true healing works it way out ( stiff British lip ). And Time
Homeopathic remedy Ignatia helps releasing of emotions. Or anything for that matter that brings out tears to cleanse
I know when mum passed I stuffed it all in to represent my job then at night I would literally wail sometimes. Esp with Long Lost Family and mums looking for children. Needless to say that crying stage eventually passed
I just over talk now being on own. Days go by without speaking to a human except at checkouts, and small talk doesn't always cut it!
Then we are human and some days better than others. That's our survival in play I guess 😊

I hate having to respond to either Happy Christmas or HNY so I don’t blame her. But then I’m basically a grouch when it comes to these things and loath platitudes!

Winniewit

Ndn and her DH moved in about 5 years ago.
He was quite ill with respiratory disease which eventually took his life.
We have been good neighbours to them both and I told him that we would be there for his wife..which we are.
3 years have passed since then .
When NY comes around when neighbours or friends and family wish HNYher she just ignores them. At first I thought she hadn't heard me to I repeated it. And once again ... silence
Eventually she admitted that she won't say it because for her there will be no more happy years since she lost her DH.
To me and others..it'd like she hope that because she is alone and ...why should anyone else be happy.
Another she does is sign her Christmas cards and birthday cards from herself and her DH

I think she hasn't come to terms with it all yet.
Grief has no time

It is hard to know how to react when someone has been bereaved. Having lost two babies when I was younger I know people come out with all sorts and sometimes it comes across as crass or hurtful in your grief. I had a largish circle of friends who included me in christmas cards and Happy New year and other celebrations each time they came around. After a while some stopped and let me be, I'm sure for the reasons a lot of posters have said here. However a small circle carried on with it saying Happy New Year, and Merry Christmas and just accepted me saying no and being withdrawn. And guess what, eventually I felt able to respond and say Happy New Year, and celebrate. I am so grateful to those who didn't take offence and didn't give up on me. It was so much easier to get back to living as I did before with that group than the others who stopped. I know we aren't all the same, I'm just saying that for me, I was grateful for the ones who stayed but were gentle and undemanding. You know your neighbour better than any of us and I'm sure will make the right choices for her.

Luckily my DH is still around to (sometimes) annoy me - after 55 years this year.

I made a good friend here in France shortly after we arrived. She died of cancer some 5 years ago and I still miss her although we only knew each other for a few years. Her DH always signs Christmas cards with her name too (and the dog).

Now that we're in our mid 70s we have lost several friends and relations along the way. One thing I've learned is that the bereaved are comforted by fond memories of their loved one. So often people will cross the road in order to avoid the bereaved person because they are embarrassed/ don't want to see any grief/don't know what to say.

Once you've done it once, it's easy enough to say something along the lines of " do you remember the time we went to the beach for an evening barbecue and there was phosphorescence?" Or whatever is appropriate.

Thank you to all of you who have sent your good wishes ....

Times like Christmas and New Year are often just too much to endure when memories of the past happier times present themselves. It is common to just hope they pass and you don’t have to acknowledge them. One day you might understand this as grief comes to us in one form or another. Grant the poor woman some slack and understanding.