Neighbour refuses to wish anyone HNY

What do you mean “Come to terms with it” I wonder. “Get over it “ perhaps?”
Hint, you don’t.
Grief has as you say no time (limits) or boundaries.
I do wonder, then why you belaboured the point?
I find it hard to believe she wants others to be unhappy too, but when you are grieving, the words can sound very hollow and don’t trip off the tongue easily.
Eventually she admitted that she won't say it because for her there will be no more happy years since she lost her DH
Poor lady, hearing the jollifications , on my own last night, I can guess how she feels

Don’t focus on things like this. She’s grieving
This isn’t about you

It's fine. Leave her to do this her way.

Why should she ? And why would you care ?

I noticed out on my morning walk that very few people were wishing anyone a HNY unlike previous years, just opting for the usual ‘morning.

Just give her time and space. Though I wouldn't be including her in the family get-togethers if she puts a damper on things, ask her at another time she would probably be more comfortable then anyway.

Why does it matter?

I think the loss of the poor lady's husband, if I may use some words of Seamus Heaney, has been a "big buffeting" to her that has (paraphrasing) 'caught the heart and blown it open.'

It seems like you're asking if she is being unreasonable for not wishing anyone a HNY.

I think YABU in assuming she doesn't want anyone else to be happy.

Allow her to grieve in her own way - and in her own time-frame.

I'd have been inclined to invite her round over the New Year interval - and ask her to share some memories of her late DH, or their time together.

My sisters the same doesn’t like Christmas or new year since her family moved abroad.

I think it’s a bit weird to add her late husband’s name to any cards she sends though.

Nowt wrong with a bit of weird. Other people can cope with that.

Why should everyone conform to the usual?

Especially with regard to something so harmless.

This poor lady. My sympathies are entirely with her. She must be devastated and finds Christmas and New Year so difficult. Really, why keep saying Happy New Year to her anyway when it’s obvious she’s struggling poor woman. A bit of sympathy wouldn’t go amiss.

Why do you all keep bullying this poor neighbour? She’s told you how she feels but you still persist in making her uncomfortable.
Show her some compassion for heaven’s sake please this coming year and respect her wishes.

Oh my goodness this is so sad but I know exactly how she feels. My DH died 5 months ago I am devastated and struggling with my grief. Christmas was so hard to keep a smile on my face and to be cheerful when playing with my granddaughter, but I did as not too spoil Christmas for others. But I have hated it when people have wished me Happy New Year, how can I be happy anytime soon. As Maws said the words sound very hollow and I struggled to respond but I definitely don’t wish other people unhappiness. I have been hoping people would understand.

Does it matter? Poor woman please just let her be. Some local folk I said HNY to whilst out walking the dog but others I didnt does this make me odd?

Why do we have to be everyone's social norm. I have always hated xmas, but prefer new year. I suppose that makes me odd. I have my reasons, only known to me. We have a n,bour who insists on covering her place with all Xmas lights known to man. None of us do, but its personal choice. Most of us wish, she would go away and leave us alone at Xmas. No such luck.

A one size fits all doesn’t work with grief, Winniewit. It certainly can’t suddenly go away as you seem to think it should.

What an odd thing to be concerned with. Respect your neighbour feeling as she does. It’s not about you.

NotAGran55

Why do you all keep bullying this poor neighbour? She’s told you how she feels but you still persist in making her uncomfortable.
Show her some compassion for heaven’s sake please this coming year and respect her wishes.

This, could not say it better. Her choice, leave her to it for goodness sake.

I have no idea why this is even perceived as something to think about. She is who she is. She is clearly grieving. She is finding her own way to cope with that. Why on earth would it matter if she doesn't say Happy New Year. Why has that decision on her part got anything to do with not wanting other people to be unhappy.

I am sure she appreciates whatever you do for her as a good neighbour. But leave her to make her own decisions without gossiping about it!

I don't wish people HNY unless its just a casual thing/strangers. I say stuff like, "I hope next year goes as well as possible" "May 2023 be a better year, and so on. Depends on the others circumstances.