Gender reveal/Baby shower

I’m glad dd never went in for either of these (she didn’t want to know in advance the sex of Gdcs 1 and 2 anyway).

I’m not generally superstitious but I never liked buying anything for the babies until they’d arrived safely - it felt too much like tempting Fate. Hence zooming down to John Lewis the moment I’d heard that Gdd1 had arrived.

Only recently a friend of dd went into labour just a very few weeks early - the baby was stillborn. So dreadfully sad.

Back in the 70’s , the convention was to order the cot and pram etc from somewhere like John Lewis and they would hold the items until the baby had safely arrived.
Ironically Paw had just arranged their delivery when our first any was whisked into an incubator and Westminster Children’s Hospital where he died three weeks later.
Of course now you are not allowed to take a baby home from hospital without the requisite safe baby seat for the car. So some preplanning is necessary!
Different times, different ways.
But TG none of my three went in for baby showers or gender reveals.

Get some flowers put a smile on and just go. It's not my thing either as a lot of new trends are not. It's family so make the effort it's important to them it's the modern way.
There are a lot of grans who miss out on these occasions because of estrangement from loved ones. Make the most of it and your son will appreciate you being there.

They've even spilled over to Germany now. I received a Christmas letter from a friend describing the gender reveal party her daughter in law had held in Tübingen. It was all new to her, and probably to the baker who had to make the cake as well!

My DS1 and wife had their second baby whilst living in America and went through the rigmarole of both baby shower and gender reveal.

The point of baby showers in the States, I discovered, was because girlfriends rallied round to help the new Mum, due to the absence of midwives, social workers, nurses or anyone else who should be there for post natal care. I went over for the birth of my grandson to help in the household but there was a constant stream of girls, often with their own children in tow, bringing food, gifts, useful items that their own babies had grown out of.

To put a light hearted note on the subject - the other day I read a saying that made me chuckle: "Am I the only one who's come naked to this gender reveal party?!?!"

JackyB we had our second baby in America.

In those days there were no baby showers or reveals amongst any of the mums I knew.

I had independent midwives and they gave truly excellent post-natal care. I realise it must vary a lot.

We had lots of friends drop off meals too Jacky in the first few weeks and
I also needed no baby clothes as had so much that was outgrown by friend's babies gifted to me.

Often friends bearing meals didn't even come inside with their home-cooking - which was SO considerate especially in the first few days as we adjusted to our expanded family - no entertaining was necessary and it all felt so low-key and ordinary.
Happy days.

😄 😁 🤣 😂

Gerbil.... thats brilliant and i can but agree....

You are obviously a very generous mother/grandmother. Lending them your car, paying for the party etc.!! You have other grandchildren. Did you do the same when they were born? Beware of being accused of favouritism.

I can appreciate that some are superstitious have anxiety etc but at the end of the day it’s not your pregnancy or baby is it ? As mums we elbow thru hard things so again I say to put a smile on your face and go partake in your sons joy and excitement. It’s entirely not about you

And furthermore If you’re unable to be happy with them so stay home but I would fully expect son and dil to be hurt by this .

I reluctantly went to my first baby shower 8 years ago. My daughter recognised my reluctance but asked me to swallow my negativity and put in an appearance for her. I enjoyed it. Since then I’ve become a doting grannie to 4 children and enjoyed several baby showers. I’ve been invited to showers held by my daughters close friends. It’s been a joy to see these 30 somethings thrilled about their pregnancies. I’ve known some of them since they were babies.
Fashions change. I’m glad I didn’t hang on to negativity

Iam64

I reluctantly went to my first baby shower 8 years ago. My daughter recognised my reluctance but asked me to swallow my negativity and put in an appearance for her. I enjoyed it. Since then I’ve become a doting grannie to 4 children and enjoyed several baby showers. I’ve been invited to showers held by my daughters close friends. It’s been a joy to see these 30 somethings thrilled about their pregnancies. I’ve known some of them since they were babies.
Fashions change. I’m glad I didn’t hang on to negativity

Beautifully put !

Show up for the people you love, even if this isn’t your thing. My sister in law had a gender reveal. I can’t stand those parties, but I still went. It’s for them, not for me. How I feel about the party doesn’t matter. What matters is making sure they feel loved and supported. The officiant at our son’s naming noted how strange it is that many show up for funerals, but pass on the opportunity to show up for joyful things. Show up for the joyful things, even if you don’t “understand” them.

To answer your other question, gifts aren’t usually expected at gender reveals here in the US. If you don’t want to go empty-handed you could always bring a plate of treats.