Full Time Working Nanny

Is this a generation thing? Do children expect their parents to do childcare these days? I had no support from my parents and I went back to work part time 6 weeks after my son was born.
No choice. My parents had my sons for one weeks holiday a year when they spoilt them rotten. My boys have very fond memories of these holidays.
I used childminders, after school clubs and a babysitting circle. All my friends did the same.
These days women are having their children much later.
In life. Grandparents are much older. In their late 60 s in most cases. Many of my friends are juggling childcare and looking after elderly parents. Doing family things that their parents didn’t.
Not much of a retirement in my view

AppleJ - it's not clear from your post whether you've actually been asked to provide childcare for one day a week or whether you're just observing a friend doing this and feeling a little bit envious.

If you've been asked then the guilty person is the parent who did the asking when knowing full well that you are employed full-time in a job with high pressure.

If you are simply feeling envious then perhaps you could re-appraise how you do your job, and then make the offer.

I'm retired but live too far away to help with childcare for my GC, I want to move closer so I would be able to support, but have already said I wouldn't be offering regular childcare but would be happy to help in emergencies. I know my limitations and how tired I get if I do too much! I have friends who do childcare regularly as their GC are local and some still work too, but we all need to know our own capabilities and only take on what be know we can safely do.

By the time I get around to moving I guess it may only be after school care but even that might be too much every day!

Don't feel guilty. Your GC are not your responsibility. But do give them quality time when you can. My daughter and I gave up a weekend to look after my GS so his parents could have a weekend away before the arrival of his baby sister. Maybe offer something like that instead of regular childcare which is clearly unrealistic.

You're working full time the fact that you are able to work from home 3 days a week doesn't mean you can commit to childcare on those days. You say your job is high pressured in which case you can hardly fit in child care with work, it's just not possible. You're paid to do your job and look after your team and you can't do both. Try not to feel guilty, there are only so many hours in a day and you're not superwoman.

Oh Apple,don’t spend one minute feeling guilty. Enjoy your lovely grandchildren when you do see them. You’ve done your bit bringing up children and now they are using all the skills you taught them to bring up theirs. Just be proud of them and tell ‘em you love them!

Working frm home means just that and impossible to do 2 jobs at once.

Stop feeling guilty and stop comparing yourself with your friend.

She presumably is taking on child-care because she likes it and is looking forward to doing it when she retires.

Reading this sites, I have come to realise that British parents apparently expect their own parents to gladly take on the job of raising their children.

What is the problem? Don't you British have nursery schools, creches, or day-care any longer?

I know these can be expensive, but parents of young children should have taken this into consideration before starting their families and have decided either to find that money, or for one of them to stop work until the children start school, or for one or both to work part-time until them.

Grandparents! Say as my sister did: "I have brought up my children, now dear daughters: you bring up yours! And I will come and spoil them which is the function and priviledge of grandparents!"

We have 4 grandchildren all teenagers now. I adore them all and we see each set of two maybe 5 times a year. One set live too far away to see them more often but when we do it is often for a long weekend maybe where we are staying on holiday or else in a lovely little annex attached to a big house just around the corner from them. They only have 3 bedrooms and a son and a daughter. The other two live closer but are heavily involved in sport and sporting competitions so as a family they are very busy When they were younger we were busy working so there was no real question of child-minding. I am happy with the relationship as it is. I love to spoil them when we see them, which will be less as they take weekend jobs and expand their social lives, but that is normal. Both my children have very good supportive partners. They are all excellent parents. I consider myself to be blessed.

Do not feel guilty! Maybe when you retire or go part time, you can pitch in if still needed.

People simply don’t understand that some jobs require a little more grit, stamina and fortitude. Many jobs are repetitive and mundane. That’s another kind of stress (boring).

Taking care of oneself is most important - only then can you be strong for your family/children/parents, if needed.