to be fed up with casual ageism?

I love being called love, chick, hun any term of endearment really. Last night in a Black Country pub I was called babbie.

Being called Love! Aaargh

sustar

This rang a bell with something I heard about Waitrose on a radio station recently, and on doing a Google search just now I found a BBC article on how shops are coping with an increase in shoplifting: 'Waitrose has also trialled "love-bombing" in some of its stores to deter would-be shoplifters - being extra attentive to customers, including by asking if help is needed at self-checkouts. Nicki Juniper, head of security for Waitrose, said: "While it's a sector-wide issue, we've found a very Waitrose way to tackle it.'"'

I saw this too. The thing is, I am not a potential shoplifter. The staff in this Waitrose are lovely and helpful if one asks but I felt patronised.

Disclaimer 1: OP I absolutely hate everyday ageism. I prefer not to discuss my age, especially in certain situations e.g. at my karate classes. I won't have my ability pre-judged by how old I am.
Disclaimer 2: I know the purpose of the supermarket DIY checkouts is to reduce staff.
Disclaimer 3: I know many people can't afford the latest technology (although many people of all ages claim to be badly off but they have all the latest tech!)

In our local Sainsbury's, I use the Smart app on my phone. You scan as you go and pay at the Smart checkout. They must assume I'm smart enough to manage because they never offer help. They will come and help if the red light is flashing e.g. for age verification on alcohol, paracetamol etc. But, if things go wrong for some reason, (a rare occurrence) you have to wave and jump up and down until they spot you! Occasionally, the till informs you that your shopping must be verified, to catch possible shoplifters I suppose. The assistant always reassures you that it's a totally random thing.

I told my hairdresser, who is a very few years younger than me, that I use that option to save money. Sainsbury's offers targeted lower prices, on things you buy regularly, if you use nectar and the Smart app. I save, on average, about £10 per month. She told me off! She said many older people can't manage the DIY options and I shouldn't get my shopping for less than people who need to use the operator checkouts! As far as I'm concerned, that money is better in my bank account than in Sainsbury's. I'm on a pension!

Older people often say they can't manage technology like smart phones and DIY checkouts. In many cases I think it's fear of change. Change isn't always bad! Embrace it (if you can afford it)!

They don’t know you’re not a potential shoplifter though, do they?
I have never, ever felt patronised btw.

I think you got the last laugh kittylester.

It was only about a year ago when for the first time ever a woman came to see if I needed help when I was unloading my trolley into the car at the supermarket. My first automatic thought was that it was some kind of scam....maybe somebody after my cash card or car keys or whatever. I politely refused assistance. When I told my husband however he made some ill-advised comment about me getting older....... He's recovered now.

I have no problem with dear/duck/love or similar but do NOT bless me

I rarely find people try and talk down to me but even when younger I realised that some people have to walk a fine line in their jobs when talking to the public. Getting the balance right between making sure people understand and being helpful and not sounding patronising.

I get annoyed when people offer me a seat on the bus. I want to show them my health tracker to evidence that I've done my 10000 daily steps and am just hopping on the bus to collect the GD from school.

In the US they have lots of dreaded "greeters"
I first noticed one there 40 years ago and still hate it.
Too jolly and too familiar in my opinion!
I must be a grump.

I constantly confuse self service checkouts as I’m left-handed and want to scan and pack in the opposite direction

WendyBT

I get annoyed when people offer me a seat on the bus. I want to show them my health tracker to evidence that I've done my 10000 daily steps and am just hopping on the bus to collect the GD from school.

Funny thing to get annoyed about. I would be pleased that there was somebody well mannered enough to offer me a seat. You might be able to do 10,000 steps but for all they know you could have arthritic knees and be glad of a seat.

"I have no problem with dear/duck/love or similar but do NOT bless me".

A young woman behind the counter at the cafe did the "bless you" thing and I nearly opened my mouth but glad I didn't, as she does it to all ages, its just her way, and she's a lovely young woman.

Wyllow a young GP kept saying "Aw, bless" to me!

She did get me an urgent appointment with a Consultant though 🙂

Listening to Iain Dale on LBC as he interviewed a female Junior Doctor about the strike. This woman said that many people affected were “old dears” I could hardly believe that she used that term in such a disparaging way.

😡 I hope one of her colleagues pulled her up over it, Annie1

I saw on the BBC news this morning that Waitrose are 'love bombing' their customers, especially those at self-service check outs! Here's an extract I've just found from The Grocer online:

Waitrose is aiming to deter shoplifters with ‘love bombing’.

The supermarket is training staff to be “extra attentive, causing thieves to think twice”, including by asking if help is needed at self-checkouts.

The aim is to make would-be thieves more conscious of shopworkers’ presence and therefore give them fewer opportunities to steal. Waitrose said it also hoped the scheme would be good for customer service levels generally.

Having been trialled it in six stores, and seeing postive results, Waitrose is now rolling the training out across its estate.

The trial had proved particularly effective at countering theft at self-checkouts, for example where shoplifters would fail to scan items, or put them through as cheaper alternatives, Waitrose said.

Perhaps the assistant who helped you, kittylester, has just had her latest staff training session ;)!!!

I was waiting in Waitrose for a friend who was taking her time this week and I asked an assistant why the chair & benches had gone. “ Covid” she answered . I have arthritis & POTS and can’t stand for any length of time. She immediately brought me a chair, very kind. I didn’t much enjoy fielding the stares of shoppers though whose expressions seemed to show they thought I was a heart attack case. I know I’m 80 with white hair, but…

Wish we had “love-bombing” here! When you need help, seems like no one can be found!

I suspect that “L-B” ambassadors are there to off-set potential shoplifters. Here, we have “secret shoppers” who just roam the aisles with full carts looking for thieves and can radio/text for security. Believe it or not, many shoplifters are older people.

Be happy the stores are trying to apprehend criminals. Shoplifting is the #1 reason your store prices continue to go up!
I used to work retail.
USA Gundy

WendyBT

I get annoyed when people offer me a seat on the bus. I want to show them my health tracker to evidence that I've done my 10000 daily steps and am just hopping on the bus to collect the GD from school.

Why do you feel the need to prove your fitness to anyone else? Especially for such a trivial reason.
If someone is trying to be polite/helpful why not just say No thanks, I’m fine?

When I was looking for a new car last year I went into my local independent second hand sales room and was looking in one particular area - I knew what I wanted and was just checking if they had any in.
Salesman rushed over and tried to steer me away saying “this is the prestige section”! Needless to say he got short shrift. If I wanted to buy a top of the range Porsche etc etc then surely it’s up to me. (Didn’t want a Porsche but a particular high spec Audi A3). Went to Arnold Clark and was treated like a regular person. They got my trade and I’ll happily return.

That reminds me of the girl at the Porsche dealership local to our last house - she always phoned to say Mr GSM’s car service had been done, would he like to pay and it would then be delivered? No I will pay as it’s mine thank you. Every time. I think she had a problem with that, sorry to derail.

When people offer a seat, call somebody love, offer help or refer to people as old dears it is not done with malice. They are being kind, I don't need help but accept it with good grace and I quite like being called love, duck or any other friendly terms.

I don't know why people at a certain age object to being called old, we are.

Love, dear, duck, hen, my lover etc are regional terms used for anyone of most ages.

I don't mind any of them.

It's not being called old that is the problem, it is the prejudice that goes along side it.