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AIBU

Shoes off

(158 Posts)
Shelflife Thu 30-Nov-23 00:06:36

I understand that many people expect guests to remove shoes on entering their house. I have no objection to this and fully respect their request. However........... if this is important to them why do they not provide a chair / stool for their guests to use when removing and putting shoes back on ? I visited a new neighbour recently and it was clear what was expected of me - a large shallow tray to place outdoor shoes on . That is perfectly ok , but I had to bend down and found it a struggle to remove my shoes and replace them when leaving ( slip ons next time !) AIBU to think this? We don't expect our visitors to remove their shoes. I am uncomfortable in just socks ! Somewhere to sit in the hall when visiting people would make things so much easier!!!!

merlotgran Thu 30-Nov-23 19:42:20

Aveline

merlotgran where did you get the idea that all guests would all be shown to a boot room in large country houses? Simply not done.

I didn’t!

merlotgran Thu 30-Nov-23 19:44:48

Aveline

merlotgran where did you get the idea that all guests would all be shown to a boot room in large country houses? Simply not done.

Visitors arriving at the main entrance would be shown in regardless of the state of their footwear

Maybe you’d like to read it again?

Suki70 Thu 30-Nov-23 19:53:06

GrannySomerset I had doormats both in my porch and hall but my visitor still trod fox poo on my dining room carpet. People usually have socks on and I’d be looking at their faces rather than their feet.

annodomini Thu 30-Nov-23 20:04:37

Visitors ask me if I'd like them to remove their shoes. If they didn't, I would politely request that they take them off. I've become quite house-proud since I chose a light coloured carpet for my new flat; I call it 'porridge'!

Aveline Thu 30-Nov-23 20:10:09

merlotgran maybe you should re-read it. You mentioned that houses had these boot rooms then stated that visitors should be shown in! You didn't make it clear exactly where they should be shown if not the boot room!

merlotgran Thu 30-Nov-23 20:18:23

Sigh…

I don’t think that’s quite right. A large country house would have a boot room to deal with muddy boots/shoes and dogs. Shoes were changed for comfort - nothing to do with protecting carpets or having servants to clean up.

Visitors arriving at the main entrance would be shown in regardless of the state of their footwear.

Is it really not clear that the first paragraph refers to the boot room and the second one to the main entrance where visitors are shown in? It wouldn’t be called the Front Door in case you need any further clarification.

If it’s still not clear I’ll find a brick wall to bang my head against!

Norah Thu 30-Nov-23 20:26:23

Perhaps it's down to visitors or family? We are not into much business entertaining any longer. We've family round often - shoes off.

Aveline Thu 30-Nov-23 20:35:36

merlotgran best clarify which brick wall you're planning to bang your head off!

merlotgran Thu 30-Nov-23 20:42:48

Aveline

merlotgran best clarify which brick wall you're planning to bang your head off!

Well I would but I’ve never banged my head off one.

hollysteers Thu 30-Nov-23 20:55:56

Mats in porch and inside front door here to wipe your feet. I never ask anyone to remove their shoes, even through years of teaching privately here.
Outdoor shoes and indoor shoes for me. Bedroom slippers downstairs! Pass the smelling salts 😨

Grandma70s Thu 30-Nov-23 21:09:31

I have only encountered shoe removal when a young neighbour came round and took his shoes off in the hall. In the whole of my 83 years that’s the only time I’ve seen it - unless the shoes are wet or muddy, in which case common sense would tell you to remove them.

My floors are for walking on. A few germs on a floor just don’t matter. I don’t intend to eat off the floor, or to ask my guests to..

Skydancer Thu 30-Nov-23 21:11:46

I would not dream of wearing shoes in someone's house especially on carpet, I get so cross when people walk on our pale carpet with their dirty shoes but I never say anything of course.

merlotgran Thu 30-Nov-23 21:25:42

I gave somebody a lift home from a meeting last week and she invited me in for coffee. She told me they were a no shoe house so I took mine off in the hall. I then followed her into the kitchen stepping over two cat litter trays. I was informed that two were a necessity because her cat was on medication following a week of diarrhoea. 😮😮😮

My socks went in the wash the minute I got home! 😂

Grandma70s Thu 30-Nov-23 21:49:17

Skydancer, perhaps a pale carpet is not a good idea.

Skydancer Thu 30-Nov-23 21:51:23

It absolutely isn't a good idea but was here when we moved in. It does however show how dirty carpet actually gets.

silverlining48 Thu 30-Nov-23 22:22:16

Lighter carpets make rooms look larger and most people have plain not patterned which will show any marks.
If visiting most countries in Europe and further afield people remove shoes as a matter of course.

silverlining48 Thu 30-Nov-23 22:26:15

Interested in slippers, and those who wear them upstairs only, wondering what they wear downstairs. we wear ours both up and downstairs. As for using slippers provided if I had socks on I wouldn't worry about it

merlotgran Thu 30-Nov-23 22:40:01

The only time I would ever ask visitors to remove their shoes would be if they’d trodden in dog sh*t on their way from the car to the door.

silverlining48 Thu 30-Nov-23 22:43:39

But would they know, especially on dark nights….. sad eek!
As an aside I have never asked anyone to take off their shoes, happily, all but one couple, just do it.

hollysteers Thu 30-Nov-23 22:44:42

silverlining48

Interested in slippers, and those who wear them upstairs only, wondering what they wear downstairs. we wear ours both up and downstairs. As for using slippers provided if I had socks on I wouldn't worry about it

Downstairs, I wear very comfortable indoor shoes when dressed.
Sacrilege to wear bedroom slippers through the day.
Rather like going to the supermarket in your pyjamas 😁

merlotgran Thu 30-Nov-23 22:48:46

But would they know, especially on dark nights….. sad eek!

They might not be able to see but hopefully their sense of smell would still be intact.
Mine certainly would! 😂

silverlining48 Thu 30-Nov-23 22:51:55

Oh that’s interesting. I call mine slippers but yours are bedroom slippers. Vive la difference. 🥿⛸️🛼👠👡👢👞
😊

silverlining48 Thu 30-Nov-23 22:54:52

Merlot 🤢🫣

Muffintops Fri 01-Dec-23 04:45:58

My sister and I are both of us in our sixties. She is always creating competition between us, having to one up me and repeatedly copies my clothing style, hair style, various things I buy for the house and garden, and now the last straw is that she has bought herself my signature scent I have used for 30 years.
That really ticked me off and confronted her and she said she had also used that scent for 20 years which is a barefaced fib. I've had enough and told her she has violated my boundaries and I am distancing myself from her. Am I being unreasonable?

Witzend Fri 01-Dec-23 08:51:52

I’m not sure why anyone thinks it was only not a thing for ‘the aristocracy’, since they had servants to clean up.

My family and general circle were MC and were always ‘shoes on’, and hardly anybody I knew even had a cleaner. My mother never did until she was widowed and in her late 70s.