Shoes off

Everywhere in my youth until fairly recently was shoes on.
It just helps to be aware that things change,

I consider it basic manners to take shoes off when entering someone's home, I always go to remove my shoes unless they specifically say, "No need to take your shoes off"

I also don't think it's always possible to make a chair available, our hallway (for example) has the stairs plus doors leading off to the living room, kitchen and downstairs toilet so a chair would block access

Muffintops you are in the wrong thread. You need AIBU.
Take it as a compliment, your sister wants to be like you.

Sorry Muffintops you need to start a new discussion even though this is AIBU

It's only in recent years that it's become a thing to have shoes off in my experience. I hate it. My feet are very bony and arthritic and it is painful and cold to walk barefoot. In addition, as I need to wear lace ups, trying to put them back on without being able to sit down would be very difficult. I can't walk much in slippers either.
I have indoor shoes which I keep for just indoors. If I knew in advance that someone woud insist on taking shoes off I would ask if I could wear those and, if not, probably not visit.

Interesting thread, which seems to indicate this isn't a class issue as such, but a cultural issue for some, and individual for others.
If you are a 'shoes off' person, can I ask you to:
1. Give warning
2. Provide a chair of some kind (even if you have to fetch one or have a folding one available)
3. Consider making exceptions.

We are a shoes-on house, even though we change our shoes when we come into the . If visitors e.g. DGS prefer to take them off then they are welcome to do so.
When we were younger, we used to be a shoes off house, but as our visitors get older, we don’t insist. If Mum and her friends had to take their shoes off and put them on again every time they came to our house, they would have been reluctant to visit.

I don't wear shoes indoors, just out of comfort. I would not ask visitors to remove shoes but I have practical flooring, to me light coloured carpets are not practical and I don't like the look of them.

Nobody has ever asked me to take my shoes off. I would be very startled, and think them rather bad-mannered if they did ask me.

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Grandma70s

Nobody has ever asked me to take my shoes off. I would be very startled, and think them rather bad-mannered if they did ask me.

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I don't think any of us ould be startled now!

Doubt that anyone would ask, I don’t, but most people just take off their shoes.
Expect extra elderly or disabled folk would be excused but for the majority it’s expected.
Why not ask your family and friends and see what they say. I can’t think last time I was in a house with outdoor shoes on.

Perhaps we could take an example from our own Royal Family as every photo we see of them in one of their residences shows them wearing shoes and this included our late Queen Elizabeth right to her last official duty. I could not possibly imagine Queen Camilla greeting foreign visitors wearing comfy Velcro slippers or Heaven forbid the Princess of Wales tottering about in decorated pink mules although I’m sure at times they probably wish they could.

Celieanne86

Perhaps we could take an example from our own Royal Family as every photo we see of them in one of their residences shows them wearing shoes and this included our late Queen Elizabeth right to her last official duty. I could not possibly imagine Queen Camilla greeting foreign visitors wearing comfy Velcro slippers or Heaven forbid the Princess of Wales tottering about in decorated pink mules although I’m sure at times they probably wish they could.

The Windsors have flunkies to clean the floors and we pay for new floors when they wear out

I’ve never been asked to remove shoes most houses seem to have a dog these days they make far more mess than any casual visitor would.

I’ve never been asked to remove shoes most houses seem to have a dog these days they make far more mess than any casual visitor would

Absolutely!!

Even though I hoover every day, if I asked visitors to remove their shoes they’d be going home with white dog hairs stuck to their socks! 🤣

We have a porch and family always remove shoes and leave in the porch

When grandchildren were toddlers they automatically left their shoes in porch.
We have slippers here for them.

Close friends usually remove shoes and if coming for longish visit bring their own indoor wear.
As we do visiting them.
Goodness knows what outdoor shoes step in

I can remember back to my younger days it was the same in my parents and grandparents homes.

I would not insist that someone coming into my home should remove their outdoor footwear (unless stilettos, but who wears them nowadays? )

Even trades people put the blue plastic foot coverings over their shoes.

Shoes are evidently another do it as you prefer thing, but what do you do about pet feet? Do you grab your cats as they sneak in and wipe their paws? And what about dogs? I do shower our dog if she has got muddy while we’re out, but she runs in and out of the garden unchecked.

Don’t know many people with pets, they might not be as fussed.

silverlining48

Don’t know many people with pets, they might not be as fussed.

My dog is part of the family and tbh I make as many allowances for him as I did with my children and our home is made suitable for his messiness. I actually have a kitchen and snug floor chosen to disguise dog hairs. The snug is a pretty much anything goes room, comfy chairs are covered with throws that get washed frequently and I used to let DD clean her tack (for ponies) whilst watching TV with us and I did mine too. The sitting room, however, is quite smart and dogs are only allowed by invitation (and they know it) they follow the house rules ie no feet on the furniture but a lap by invitation is OK. yes I think people with dogs are not very fussy, ours would do a pre- wash on the dishwasher If I let him (what happens when I'm not around is anyone's guess!) but to date no one has died as a result! IMO a happy canine companion is more of an asset to any household than a clean floor.

Absolutely foxie 🐶

It is only acceptable to expect guests and visitors to remove their shoes if you have told them beforehand this will be the case and they are given a chance to bring alternative footwear. Otherwise it is a big no no.

I'm happy to remove my shoes if necessary, but did get pretty irritated by one friend who insisted on this every time we visited, even if we were dressed in our best for dinner and it was perfectly dry and clean outside. She didn't even like us to change our shoes when we got there, it had to be stockinged feet. Apparently she tried it with an electrician and was told in no uncertain terms that she had to wear his heavy boots in case of electrocution!
If people want to remove their shoes in our house that is great (we do) but I wouldn't ask them to do it uness it was wet outside or they were wearing grubby walking shoes or trainers.

nightowl

Whiff I think you’re right, I think there is a class element to this. I have found (in my limited experience!) that the truly upper classes don’t care about shoes, muddy riding boots, wet dogs and even the odd pony coming into their homes. My working class family were fiercely proud of what they had, however old and shabby, and their homes were spotless (sadly I do not live up to their standards).

But the truly upper class have cleaners to keep their floors spotless!

i bought an Ikea wooden stool that doubles as a couple of steps. nn i keep it in the hall and it's very useful.

I have some new deck shoes which I am wearing as slippers as they look fine upstairs or downstairs and are relatively easy to slip on and off. I agree that slippers look a bit "bedroomy".
I went to a rather straightlaced girls boarding school in the '60s and we had to wear indoor and outdoor shoes. I can't remember whether this applied in dry summer weather too.

Late 50s/early 60 we had to change into plimsoles at my sec mod school . I can’t remember if it was only if it rained or every day. Toooooo looooooog agooooo