To be blindsided by DNA test?.

If he is telling the truth and he has such a close match to his DNA from someone other than the man you thought must be his father then there is no dispute. This must be a close match . However had the man you though was his father done a DNA test or his other children or parents done one ? If not there is no proof he is or is not the dad . To conclude is there a very close match for someone else ( they tell you if this would be his father ) or is there no proof either way if no close matches at all .

Buttonjugs, it is possible that you have been wrong all this time.

I have seen a tv programme where this young woman was totally convinced that this young lad was the father of her son since her son had a striking resemblance to him but DNA proved he was not the father.

The only proof of paternity is DNA. Anything else is mere speculation.

Addressing some of the comments:

Suffering with addiction doesn't equate to "liar". Addiction usually manifests due the person having unresolved trauma

To OP:

I would take what he is saying at face value and get yourself some help to cope with this news. It will be difficult for your son too, especially as he must be able to do the maths and know that your teenage years must have been troubling for you

Please come back ButtonJugs and let us know your thoughts.

VS, the OP says her son is ‘a pathological liar’. Nobody here has invented that.

VS It has also been shown that he could not possibly have this information and it looks unlikely that any DNA testing has been done.

His story is a tissue of lies, so why should the OP take it seriously?

Germanshepherdsmum

*VS*, the OP says her son is ‘a pathological liar’. Nobody here has invented that.

Oh, indeed, you said "I don't think your son is telling the truth"

I suppose it is unfortunately easy to stereotype addiction but there is in fact a human being behind the addiction who needs help and research states that trauma is the most likely cause.. Adverse Childhood Experiences (ACEs) being the most likely

Nobody is stereotyping addiction. The OP has told us of her son’s character. If you RTFT you will see why the conclusion has been drawn that he is not telling the truth.

Exactly GSM. None of the responses here have stereotyped addiction. Buttonjugs knows that sadly her son has a history of lying, and his claim about the DNA test has been called into question, to say the least.

I am sure OP would have access to any potential proof with a better relationship and it is clearly stated that there is more than one potential father

This mother and son would benefit from family therapy

I rather doubt either of them would want that. What a strange suggestion, I; the circumstances.

Germanshepherdsmum

I rather doubt either of them would want that. What a strange suggestion, I; the circumstances.

Agreed. On all counts, GSM 🙄.

It's an odd situation as as far as I can tell, nobody stands to gain or lose whatever happens, unless the son can prove that his actual father is a millionaire looking for an heir or something.

I don't know why the son should lie, if the information given is all there is to know. I suppose that if this were a soap opera it might turn out that the man had wanted to leave money to the OP after feeling guilty about not supporting her during pregnancy and bringing up his child, but her son wanted to block this out of spite. In real life that scenario is highly unlikely though.

No, lots of people dislike therapy and resist personal growth sadly

Not everyone needs therapy, VS. Nothing wrong with it for those who do, but for many people it's not necessary.

In this instance I think family therapy would be incredibly helpful

Many mental health disorders, Personality disorders and addictions stem from unresolved trauma and adverse childhood experiences

Please follow GSM’s posts here buttonjugs.

VioletSky you aren’t an expert on Therapy. Recommending Family Therapy in these circumstances shows that .u

I think family therapy could prevent or reconcile many estrangements

I’m not disputing the usefulness of family therapy in some circumstances. It’s never a cure all and totally inappropriate in these circumstances

I disagree but then, I wouldn't be commenting any further if I weren't addressing those trying to argue against my words addressed to OP

VioletSky

I think family therapy could prevent or reconcile many estrangements

But it’s not recommended if either party is abusive.

It's recommended with addiction

Especially for overcoming addiction and rebuilding trust

Message deleted by Gransnet. Here's a link to our Talk guidelines.

Actually I do have qualifications that apply

But OP would like the truth and I think suggesting a path to that is helpful or I wouldn't be saying it

Aces and trauma aren't tied to parenting

I hope you are finished disparaging my character unnecessarily now GSM

Look at what you have said to the OP, and think about disparaging of character, VS. GSM is right.