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Things you find stressful that other people don't notice.

(63 Posts)
kircubbin2000 Fri 22-Dec-23 12:01:43

For example,we usually meet at a local cafe 5 minutes from home. This morning one lady changed the venue to a trendy cafe in town meaning having to drive and park.
The noise was unbearable both from the coffee machines and the acoustics.Service was poor and the coffee was cold. We couldn't hear each other over the noise and I felt so relieved to get home. No one else complained.

Theexwife Fri 22-Dec-23 12:13:39

I get so stressed driving on a motorway that I have stopped doing it, when I have to go anywhere my first thought is how can I get there avoiding motorways and dual carraigeways it is so limiting, seeing others doing it with ease makes me envious.

Tizliz Fri 22-Dec-23 13:10:45

Flashing Christmas lights. I understand that people want to decorate their house and tree but why do the lights have to flash on and off?

aggie Fri 22-Dec-23 13:14:52

Answering the phone if I’m not expecting a call , even if I see the name and know who is ringing !
I think it’s going to be bad news
I am not good at ringing anyone either , I think I’m ringing at the wrong time , too early or too late !

RosiesMaw Fri 22-Dec-23 13:21:08

Filling in paper forms - fine on line but despite a university education, masters degree and god know how many years in education, the shutters come down when I have to fill in a form. 😳😳

LisaAN Fri 22-Dec-23 13:21:18

People chewing with their mouth open. I have been known to leave my seat and stand somewhere else on a crowded train for the duration of the journey if the person in a seat near me was chewing loudly. No idea why it does, but it doesn’t just annoy me, it really causes me stress.

ginny Fri 22-Dec-23 13:21:57

Not sure if this bothers others or not. I get cross when people give you their email or join a WhatsApp group and then don’t bother to look at them or answer.

GrannyGrunter Fri 22-Dec-23 13:28:09

I know exactly what you mean. Restaurants and cafes seem to think we want loud music belting out when all we want is to enjoy a quiet meal with family and friends.

I am like you, by the time I get home I am exhausted with trying to keep up with conversations that are going on between our friends.

Greyisnotmycolour Fri 22-Dec-23 13:48:17

Driving anywhere and not knowing where I'm going to park. I just dread it. I have satnav and a parking camera so all I need to keep it simple but it ties me in knots. Also driving at night but I'll only do that now if it's absolutely necessary.

FannyFanackerpan Fri 22-Dec-23 13:54:25

Every Pizza Express restaurant that I've ever been in has hard tiled floors which makes the acoustics very harsh. The combined noise of chairs being scraped back, blaring music, general chatter and the clattering of plates and cutlery makes it hell on earth for me. My Christmas wish is that our book club chooses a different venue for our social meet ups next year.

Kittycat Fri 22-Dec-23 14:14:00

Knowing where the toilets are before I get there! I have an emergency card but being disabled the route to the loo isn’t always easy especially if it’s on another floor!

Bumface Fri 22-Dec-23 14:28:00

I don't like background music in public places such as malls, restaurants or while you wait to be connected on the phone.
My dislike is not confined to any particular kind of music although I do find blaring Christmas pop songs and carols particularly irritating. I see I am not alone in disliking music in restaurants, but does anyone else feel the same way about background music generally or am I just being a miserable old bat?

kircubbin2000 Fri 22-Dec-23 14:31:29

I asked for it to be turned down in an hotel but was told no as the owner liked it.

vampirequeen Fri 22-Dec-23 14:42:42

I can't go out on my own but I can when my DH is there so I look perfectly normal but actually I'm not as my anxiety levels are very high especially in crowds.

Grandma70s Fri 22-Dec-23 14:48:39

I agree about “background music”. When I was in hospital it was continuous from 8 in the morning until about 7 pm when the continuous television began. I asked them to turn it off, but was told that everybody else liked it. In the end they did at least turn it down, but it was still non-stop. The problem is that I listen to music, whereas most people ignore it.

Gwyllt Fri 22-Dec-23 14:49:40

Being put on hold by call centre and having to wait a long time listening to electronic music

Whiff Fri 22-Dec-23 14:56:37

Sudden noises, loud noises flashing lights and people appearing out of the blue they set off my startle reflex and I go as stiff as a board. Cramped spaces make me anxious. And I hate being late I get everywhere at least 30 mins earlier. People saying they will be there ay such a time and are always late. I have a rare hereditary neurological condition and it effects my limbs but lots of other things as well. Plus stressful situations set my PAF off.

But otherwise I am fine 🤣

Siope Fri 22-Dec-23 15:05:48

Not sure I’m alone in this, TVs left on for background noise, or when nobody is actively watching something.

Bella23 Fri 22-Dec-23 15:06:00

I hate being late or others being late. I can't give direct instructions to adults I make open suggestions.

M0nica Fri 22-Dec-23 15:35:02

Being rung on my mobile phone. Not a problem when I am at home, but find it so stressful when out.

By the time I find the phone, the caller has rung off and I simply cannot hear anything anyone is saying, if there is any kind of background noise.

Wendy46 Fri 22-Dec-23 16:12:07

Driving especially at night. Used to be competent/ confident but not any more!

Louella12 Fri 22-Dec-23 16:39:40


Flashing Christmas lights. I understand that people want to decorate their house and tree but why do the lights have to flash on and off?

You are my youngest daughter! And you're not alone. Loads on Tiktok about it.

We have 2 very large trees downstairs with hundreds of lights. Which flash. Daughter ends up faffing around with the plug 🔌 thingie to get them to remain static.

Personally, I love them

GrannyGravy13 Fri 22-Dec-23 16:50:11

I really cannot cope with tinsel or coloured flashing fairy lights.

The GC wanted coloured fairy lights in the playroom here, I gave in but they do not flash 🤣

teabagwoman Fri 22-Dec-23 16:51:55

I’m another one who can’t bear flashing lights. I get very stressed if I have to use my mobile phone when I’m out as I can’t hear a thing if there’s background noise. As to noisy restaurants and cafes I’ve been told that they are deliberately designed with lots of hard surfaces because it’s believed that the noise creates a ‘buzz’ which draws customers in!!

LindaPat Fri 22-Dec-23 16:54:06

Re the flashing Christmas lights - if only the manufacturers would make "steady" the first option , instead of number 7, we would be ok!.
My DH tries to make everything as simple as possible for us, so all our lights , inside and out, are connected to something on his phone, and they all come on/go off together. Great - except we still have to go around and press the button 7 times on each transformer to get them onto the steady mode. Otherwise the house looks like a spaceship!