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Christmas stocking has to be from Santa

(61 Posts)
mclaysmith Sun 31-Dec-23 17:46:50

My son and DIL found out I was planning to give my almost two year old granddaughter a stocking when she visited my house after Christmas. My son told me they come and get the stuff I’d bought for it, and I said it was for my house. There was no further discussion. All went well on Christmas night, at their house, as they refused to have dinner at ours.
Friday was my Christmas dinner. DIL seemed unfriendly, but she’s pregnant, so…. After dinner we opened presents, and I asked my son to open his, and his daughter’s stocking. He sat at the end of the sofa, and put the stockings on the floor. Then, one by one, the toddler’s stocking gifts appeared with no connection to me and my generosity.
They had come with an agenda, it seems. They don’t want her to know that a stocking doesn’t come from Santa. He could have taken me aside, and I’d have put the gifts in a bag so she could have something from me.
I am devastated that they would treat me like this. My husband was supposed to be with us, but was taken to ICU the day before. They also attacked my daughter for helping me decorate the stocking with wee one’s name.
I could get over the stocking, but not how I’ve been treated. I don’t recognize my son anymore.

nightowl Mon 01-Jan-24 16:32:05

On a lighter note, I was quite amused this year when my younger son realised that I spend as much on his partner as I do on him - he said ‘not only does S get the same as me but I’ve had fewer Christmases than (older brother and sister) so I’m still owed some grin. I think hmm he was joking but anyway, I laughed it off and said ‘well she’s family now and you all get the same’. I can’t imagine how it could be any different now they’re all grown, but every family is different.

Luckygirl3 Mon 01-Jan-24 16:44:45

I am very sorry that your DH is so unwell and has ingoing health problems ... this must be so stressful.
It is a shame that your son did not make things entirely clear, but you will know for next year and I am sure things will go more smoothly for you all.
I hope that your DH will be ell soon and home again.
Good wishes for the new year.

Sara1954 Mon 01-Jan-24 16:45:21

March
Exactly right, I have some priceless memories (and videos) of my grandchildren’s joy in opening their gifts, who cares who bought what.

Luckygirl3 Mon 01-Jan-24 16:46:13

Sorry for spelling errors .... I was up late last night!

Germanshepherdsmum Mon 01-Jan-24 16:52:37

Same here. I spend roughly the same on my son and his wife. In fact I may have spent slightly more on her this year if I tot it up - which I don’t. And I also give a few small presents ‘between them’. Also, for the first time I have the joy of a grandchild to buy for. I checked with the parents the things I was thinking of buying and put them in a bag so that they can take out something new to amuse her in the coming weeks and months. I handed her a couple of things. She’s only eight months old so hasn’t a clue who has given her what, but that’s not the point is it? The joy is in the giving and seeing the pleasure of the recipient - and in the case of a grandchild, knowing that your purchases have been approved by the parents rather than doing a flyer and ending up treading on someone else’s toes and causing upset.

RosiesMaw Mon 01-Jan-24 17:45:32

We could not see granny on christmas day as my sil was a minister so she was busy and they stayed together, we went on boxing day and gran wanted a stocking, we explained it by saying santa got home and found some small things at the bottom of his sack so delivered them to granny's house as our stocking had been put away but all the other presents were from granny and auntie. we got away with this till he was five
Please, this is doing my head in
1) WHO "was a minister" and WHO was busy and why "couldn't you see granny" ?
2) "gran wanted a stocking " WHO and why did she want a stocking"
3) until WHO was 5?
4) where does auntie come into this?confusedconfusedconfused

Sourdoughqueen Mon 01-Jan-24 19:04:26

RosiesMaw

^We could not see granny on christmas day as my sil was a minister so she was busy and they stayed together, we went on boxing day and gran wanted a stocking, we explained it by saying santa got home and found some small things at the bottom of his sack so delivered them to granny's house as our stocking had been put away but all the other presents were from granny and auntie. we got away with this till he was five^
Please, this is doing my head in
1) WHO "was a minister" and WHO was busy and why "couldn't you see granny" ?
2) "gran wanted a stocking " WHO and why did she want a stocking"
3) until WHO was 5?
4) where does auntie come into this?confusedconfusedconfused

I think I can answer this!

1. Sister in law was minister and son’s aunt. Mother in law is granny.
2. Granny (mil) wanted to give a stocking but because it was Boxing Day and Santa had already been they had to say Santa had left another at granny’s.
3. Her son believed it until he was five.
4. Aunty and Mil lived together or at least did Christmas together so aunty gave her presents to the family in Boxing Day too.

Callistemon21 Mon 01-Jan-24 20:13:37

Sourdoughqueen

RosiesMaw

We could not see granny on christmas day as my sil was a minister so she was busy and they stayed together, we went on boxing day and gran wanted a stocking, we explained it by saying santa got home and found some small things at the bottom of his sack so delivered them to granny's house as our stocking had been put away but all the other presents were from granny and auntie. we got away with this till he was five
Please, this is doing my head in
1) WHO "was a minister" and WHO was busy and why "couldn't you see granny" ?
2) "gran wanted a stocking " WHO and why did she want a stocking"
3) until WHO was 5?
4) where does auntie come into this?confusedconfusedconfused

I think I can answer this!

1. Sister in law was minister and son’s aunt. Mother in law is granny.
2. Granny (mil) wanted to give a stocking but because it was Boxing Day and Santa had already been they had to say Santa had left another at granny’s.
3. Her son believed it until he was five.
4. Aunty and Mil lived together or at least did Christmas together so aunty gave her presents to the family in Boxing Day too.

so aunty gave her presents to the family in Boxing Day
When Christmas boxes were given to the servants and to the poor

And that's why it's called Boxing Day! 😃

nexus63 Tue 02-Jan-24 13:20:42

well done sourdoughqueen, yes my sil was a minister, never married so sil and mil lived together, there was always a christmas day lunch at the church after morning service so we visited on boxing day, my husband was 18 years older than me so my mil was nearly 70 when my son came along and wanted to have a stocking for him, so we made up the story about santa. we told my son when he was little that santa brought some of the presents and mum and dad gave the other presents, when we went to see granny and auntie the stocking was from santa and the other presents from gran and auntie, my son was never a christmas person, we would get excited about him opening his presents, by the time he was 10 he asked us not to wake him up on christmas morning, he would get his present later, he is still not a christmas person, he always works on christmas day if he can.
i am sorry but i am not very good at using the shortened version of things like mil and dh etc. happy new year to everyone on gn.

mclaysmith Wed 03-Jan-24 03:42:08

Good news! My son has admitted that he behaved badly, and we have mended our relationship. While he has always had his own stocking, it is understood that it is also for his wife. I give them useful gifts, which they are happy to have. I didn’t want their daughter left out, so got her one of her own. I only act out of kindness.
Some of you are terribly judgmental, but lots are very supportive.
Next thread: table manners. Elbows, allowed, or prohibited?