Are table manners important anymore?

Yes, they are. I was amazed to see grand-daughter 15, with arm across table between plate and herself, and shovelling food backwards with fork at strange angle! She is in a posh private school and said they all eat like that. Same for a good friend's daughter recently 14. When I jokingly mentionned this, my young friend said 'oh come on, these things don't matter these days anymore'. I zipped it, but was surprised.

As I said above FP, the public school boys - I don’t know about girls - did not generally do well in the lunch part of the interview. And of course they have to be able to perform well in front of clients not only in the office but in social situations. Young people ignore the importance of good manners at their peril - their potential employers are of a different generation to whom social niceties are important.

I think it is important.

Occasionally I have a meal at a friend's house with her family and even though I've not finished eating and they have - they get up from the table and start clearing it rather than sitting with me while I finish my meal. It means I feel rushed to finish my meal and really wish the parents would sit down with me.

Ok, fine if the kids want to get up and go to play, but the adults start clearing the table around me.

When that family have a meal with us, we don't get up from the table until everyone is finished (well... I do eat slowly unfortunately so they have to wait for me until we serve the next course!)

Oh, and I've seen how some folks hold their knives and forks. Yikes! (But that isn't the issue here, it's table manners).

I think table manners are extremely important and should be taught to children as a matter of course - like when they're potty trained, learn to read, tie shoe laces, etc.
I went for a meal with my younger cousin and her 10 year old son a while back - I was astounded to see him eating with his fingers and chewing with his mouth open & her not correcting him!
My toes were curling I was so appalled and I had to really try hard not to question her or tell him off.
It spoiled our meal for me and made me wonder how and why he's like this.

Good heavens TwinLolly - I was taught not to start eating until everyone was seated and served (and where appropriate Grace had been said), and not to leave the table until everyone had finished eating (and if someone was a slow eater, to moderate my pace of eating to match theirs).

Manners in general work well for me.

I think manners generally are important. Good manners together with a smile will get you a long way in life!

I was taught good manners at both home and at school not just table manners but general good ones. "Manners maketh man". was constantly quoted.
As a student I was called over by a lecturer and told I was not at school now and did not have to hold the door open for men,it was ladies before gentlemen now.

Germanshepherdsmum

As I said above FP, the public school boys - I don’t know about girls - did not generally do well in the lunch part of the interview. And of course they have to be able to perform well in front of clients not only in the office but in social situations. Young people ignore the importance of good manners at their peril - their potential employers are of a different generation to whom social niceties are important.

Our girls always said that going to the local school did they such a great service as they could handle anyone, in any situation. And being well spoken, good manners, etc- helped them so much in climbing the ladder.

Not my choice for the GCs schools.

If was good for my son too. And he’s determined that his daughter will also go to the local school; his privately educated wife is in full agreement.

Mogsmaw

I always thank car drivers who stop to let me across the road and grateful for any help
Sorry, this isn’t about manners. This is about the law!
You have a right to cross the road. Pedestrians have a right of way. The law was changed recently to emphasise this.
I am sick of crossing when a car just drives at me. I had to jump into a hedge last month when a car drove towards where I was crossing a car park and suddenly turned towards me. No indicators, no slowing down. I was “lucky” there was a hedge.
I was late for a class because I spent 10 minutes attempting to cross the road. I told the class why I was late and a driver said she’d never let a pedestrian cross because another car might run into her. I asked if she felt the same about roundabouts and. Red light, other places she was legally required to stop.
We must reign in some of the terrible attitudes that exist on the roads. And it starts with us all.

Do you mean that pedestrians have the right of way anywhere, not just on zebra crossings and other designated places? I am sure this isn't correct. It would be extremely dangerous for vehicles to stop randomly to let someone cross.

I agree with the person at your class. I always stop at zebra crossings and any other designated pedestrian crossings, but I wouldn't just suddenly stop my car in the middle of the road to facilitate a crossing.

The car behind could go into me as they would see no reason for my actions and additionally, the pedestrian could be hit by a car/motorbike coming in the other direction which I may not have seen and over which I have no control. It is dangerous to wave pedestrians into the road.

No, it isn’t correct. Pedestrians don’t have the right to just cross the road wheresoever they wish.

Norah

^Does anyone care any more?^

Yes.

People note when people eat quietly, don't shovel, don't chew with mouth open, sit with hands folded. Yes it matters.

I agree Norah. I do eat holding a fork in my right hand because I can’t use my left hand but the main thing is to be considerate of others.

Pedestrians have the right to be on the road where there are no footpaths though and cars will have to stop if it isn’t safe to pass them

I think table manners are important to a degree but I work and live in a multi cultural area and it is absolutely normal to eat with your hands and it doesn’t bother me at all 🤷‍♀️ Maybe it’s more complicated

JaneJudge

I think table manners are important to a degree but I work and live in a multi cultural area and it is absolutely normal to eat with your hands and it doesn’t bother me at all 🤷‍♀️ Maybe it’s more complicated

I agree JJ but I can't bear eating with people who speak with their mouths full...

Germanshepherdsmum

No, it isn’t correct. Pedestrians don’t have the right to just cross the road wheresoever they wish.

Pedestrian priority

From January 2022 a pedestrian waiting to cross should be given priority. Previously, drivers were told to give way to pedestrians if they 'have started crossing and traffic wants to turn into the road'. The change also appears in the revised Rule 170.
This from the R A C site.
The law changed.
Pedestrian should be allowed to cross. They certainly should not be harassed off the road if a car turns onto the side road they are on. That was always the law.
“Ignorance of the law is no excuse” has always been a maxim.

Waiting to cross, yes - not just darting across thinking they have the right of way.

that, i believe, is at junctions, not just anywhere on the highway ?

Mogsmaw

Germanshepherdsmum

No, it isn’t correct. Pedestrians don’t have the right to just cross the road wheresoever they wish.

Pedestrian priority

From January 2022 a pedestrian waiting to cross should be given priority. Previously, drivers were told to give way to pedestrians if they 'have started crossing and traffic wants to turn into the road'. The change also appears in the revised Rule 170.
This from the R A C site.
The law changed.
Pedestrian should be allowed to cross. They certainly should not be harassed off the road if a car turns onto the side road they are on. That was always the law.
“Ignorance of the law is no excuse” has always been a maxim.

OK, so we're talking about pedestrians waiting to cross a side road into which a car has begun to turn. In these circumstances I always stop if someone is already crossing (naturally!) but not usually if they are still on the pavement. I didn't know this had become law and judging by most other drivers in my busy city neither do they.

Good manners in general are important. I was taught to say please and thank you and to ask to leave the table when everyone had finished eating . I was taught no elbows on the table and how to hold a knife and fork . Not to speak with mouth full nor chew with an open mouth and I’ve passed this on to my dc .
We took our dc to restaurants when they were small and got praised by the staff and other diners .
My ds worked in a pub/restaurant during uni and was appalled at the number of kids allowed to run around the place, getting in the way of staff carrying hot plates . And this was in a very yummy mummy area of south london .
Another thing on table manners my dd turned down a second date due to her dates appalling table manners .

flappergirl

Mogsmaw

Germanshepherdsmum

No, it isn’t correct. Pedestrians don’t have the right to just cross the road wheresoever they wish.

Pedestrian priority

From January 2022 a pedestrian waiting to cross should be given priority. Previously, drivers were told to give way to pedestrians if they 'have started crossing and traffic wants to turn into the road'. The change also appears in the revised Rule 170.
This from the R A C site.
The law changed.
Pedestrian should be allowed to cross. They certainly should not be harassed off the road if a car turns onto the side road they are on. That was always the law.
“Ignorance of the law is no excuse” has always been a maxim.

OK, so we're talking about pedestrians waiting to cross a side road into which a car has begun to turn. In these circumstances I always stop if someone is already crossing (naturally!) but not usually if they are still on the pavement. I didn't know this had become law and judging by most other drivers in my busy city neither do they.

It has always been the law that pedestrians should be allowed to continue to cross, you were never allowed to mow them down but the excuse was always the pedestrian was at fault.
Now, from January 2022 you must allow a pedestrian to cross.
They have right of way. If you hit a pedestrian the car driver will be liable. They have an obligation to protect the more venerable road user.

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Reported [sigh]

I have had to tell one of my sons to be tighter with his young son's table manners.
I told him it will be important in later life, plus no one wants a messy playmate.