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Daughter says I should always be the one to visit

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Josie2015 Sun 07-Jan-24 10:34:51

Hi do you think I'm being unreasonable. My daughter says it's up to me to go visit her and the granchildren who are teenagers. They never visit me I work 3 jobs and live roughly an hour away. I buy expensive b.presents and never get a thankyou from children and she moans about her sibling getting more attention than she does which isn't true they came at Christmas for a few hrs but not for lunch. And when she does phone she never asks how I am just whats wrong with her.i lover and children but when I was growing up and them I visited my grandparents and didn't expect them to visit me sorry for the rant but am I in the wrong I was the last person to visit them but she hasn't been to visit since 2019 it is only this year I haven't been to hers with presents as wasn't well

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Bellanonna Sat 22-Aug-26 20:49:59

Old thread but

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Allsorts Mon 24-Aug-26 07:13:06

I know this is a resurrected old post but obviously still relevant.
These entitled grown up children just do not care. The grind time or what they want. Let them get on with it. I would however write a letter saying how you miss them and love to see them, they are always welcome but the travelling is too much and you don't feel well, the many jobs are taking their toll. Put the ball in their court. Send cards and give a present when you see them.

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Smileless2012 Mon 24-Aug-26 08:19:51

Let them get on with it I agree Allsorts.

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Witzend Mon 24-Aug-26 13:02:01

My dd and 3 Gdcs are 60 miles away, 1.5 hr drive if the traffic isn’t too bad, can be quite a bit longer though given the ghastly M25.
Unless the Gdcs are staying for a few days in the holidays, we do usually go to them - the Gdcs have so many activities and dd is always busy with work and everything else, and TBH we have a lot fewer essential calls on our time.

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Astitchintime Mon 24-Aug-26 13:23:27

She does sound very entitled and uncaring……with a parent like that the teenagers don’t have a particular great role model do they?
Pull back on the gifts and I’d be tempted to say ‘I haven’t bothered buying gifts because no one responded to the last things I bought and I assume I got it wrong’ and do stop pandering to her…..when she rings up moaning about this and that remind her we all have problems to cope with, she isn’t unique!

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