To say eldest GD needs to grow up?

I don’t think she has posted before …

Callistemon21 As for paying a mortgage and living in the London on £32,000 between them - good luck!

Indeed. Makes no sense.

Current thread a couple have £5,000 monthly between them, in London. Many find that plenty - but it's truly down to outgoings, future needs (children perhaps). This couple is looking at a one bedroom flat, good luck starting a family. Couldn't afford the dismal 2 bedroom we saw in a link.

Working after leaving school, living at home - my husband did for 2 years. His mum wouldn't accept payment if he would save all his pay towards our home deposit - when I was old enough to marry/leave school.

Whilst I think YD could work full time, I'm not bothered by her saving all her pay towards a deposit - can't complain as we did the same.

''Really go out of her way to find a partner'' ..... She's 38 and has no partner, she's an ADULT, unlike you, and SHE ALONE decides if she wants a partner or not. Are you secretly saying you want her to have a life of a husband and great-grandkids? It's her business, not yours.

She has chronic health problems and works, she willingly contributes financially and does the cooking.

She sounds absolutely lovely to me. If I had a GD like her I'd be dead proud, not condescending and patronizing.

No wonder the poor lady feels left out, judging by your attitude.

My youngest daughter is 38, still single, two adopted childen, has her own property and would be absolutely mortified by the suggestion that she needs a man.
However I really don't see why YorkshireQueen's granddaughter shouldn't get a place of her own, even if it is a flatshare or basic rental.

She’s not got good health and doesn’t earn enough. Perhaps things will improve when the princess moves out. I hope so. I would like to think that the parents are kinder than the grandmother.

If it is not made up, you can see who the favourite one is here. One contributes and pays her way as she should, the other allegedly pays nothing, is lazy only doing a part time job, and manages the save 80k, which I don't believe.
If this post is real, wake up and see the eldest daughter for the decent person she is,and stop praising the one who did not contribute, and is too lazy to get a full time job.

The younger daughter seems to be a kind of golden princess.

My parents were all over my sister when she had an (unplanned) child at 16 because it was the first grandchild. No one bothered to congratulate me on passing my professional exams and being promoted. However they sure missed my financial contribution when I moved out soon afterwards to get my own flat. They forgot that there was going to be another mouth to feed and less money coming in.

I'm thinking that this boyfriend, who is himself earning a rather modest salary for London, is very generous indeed if he's paying for a lot. Does he buy her clothes, as managing to save £80,000 on a salary of £9,000 pa surely means she can't be spending anything at all.

Does he live with his parents free of charge too?

I expect the scales will soon fall from his eyes - if any of this is true. I doubt the princess will keep the new palace clean or put nice meals on the table, given her very taxing part time job.

Average price of one-bedroomed flat in London is about £285,000.
However, this is a very expensive area apparently so prices could be much higher.

Even with savings of £80,000, a mortgage of well over £200,000 would be needed as costs will be involved.
That would mean repayments of about £1,300 per month.
If they can get a mortgage on those combined salaries.

for a £200,000 mortgage, that means yearly earnings of between £44,000-£50,000 would be required
Younger GD is going to have to get a full-time job 😯

Ps I'm not a nerd, I've been investigating this for a family member 🙂

I don't expect the OP will be back , at least with this username. But taking this to be true the only thing the younger daughter has achieved is the ability to get her parents and partner to fund her life . And on 23k her partner must be doing the same to fund both their lives and save for a deposit.

cc

My youngest daughter is 38, still single, two adopted childen, has her own property and would be absolutely mortified by the suggestion that she needs a man.
However I really don't see why YorkshireQueen's granddaughter shouldn't get a place of her own, even if it is a flatshare or basic rental.

Your daughter has done very well but the subject of the post has chronic health issues. Even the grandmother who seems to lack the basic tenets of sympathy admits this.

I'm not sure what you mean by a "basic rental". As opposed to what, a luxury penthouse? I live in Bristol where rents are akin to London prices. You're looking at a minimum of £1,100 a month for a dingy studio flat (basically a bedsit) but realistically more like £1,300. This does not include bills or council tax.

For a house share (your own bedroom but sharing a bathroom and kitchen with strangers), you'd pay on average £850 per month.

House shares are generally the preserve of students or young professionals usually in their 20's. The other house mates would not accept someone nearly 40 with disabilities and neither would any landlord whether legal, moral or not.

The radical shortage of rental accommodation means that landlords and agents are only accepting the creme de la creme of tenants and they are also asking for 6 months' rent up front as well as the initial deposit. This equates to around £8,000 before they even move in.

It's tough out there. That's why so many people in their 30's or older are still living at home.

Oh for goodness sake. Some of you are just being very horrid now.
My youngest GD has mental health issues and anxiety impacting on her ability to work full time. My eldest GD wouldn't earn nearly enough to move out alone in this area.
I think you are all being very cruel and judgemental.

🤔

Usual format.

But we are being practical
The scenario you describe is questionable , not to say naïve - a combined income of £32 is unlikely to cover a flat within the London commuting area, stamp duty and the expenses incurred in buying, then council tax, energy bills, food and house maintenance. £80k may not even be enough for the deposit - have they thought this through?
It’s a lovely idea and you are pleased for them but hardly a “magnificent achievement” and nobody seems to appreciate the contribution the eldest GD has made to the household.

🤔

Classic Callistemon !
Nothing like moving the goalposts !

I'm out, this does not ring true at all.

I don’t understand why anxiety and mental health issues would prevent anyone from working full time but allow them to work part time.

I don’t think any of us is being cruel and judgmental OP. Don’t you think you are being cruel and judgmental as regards your elder grandchild?

YorkshireQueen

Oh for goodness sake. Some of you are just being very horrid now.
My youngest GD has mental health issues and anxiety impacting on her ability to work full time. My eldest GD wouldn't earn nearly enough to move out alone in this area.
I think you are all being very cruel and judgemental.

If this is a genuine post I would ask you to consider that nobody is perfect and we all have our moments of envy, insecurity, anger and frustration. Sometimes these feelings are irrational and sometimes they are rooted in harsh reality but more often they are a mixture of both.

What your eldest GD needs is to feel loved and appreciated, not second best. Her illness must make her feel very low and the celebration of the youngest moving out will only accentuate this. Try to have a little understanding.

YorkshireQueen

Why on earth would it not be?
Are you saying we should just tiptoe around her and not celebrate a big achievement with other GD?

No, I don't think anyone is saying that. Just asking you to show the elder woman a little more consideration than you seem to think is necessary.

YorkshireQueen

Why on earth would it not be?
Are you saying we should just tiptoe around her and not celebrate a big achievement with other GD?

I'm a bit confused. Precisely what is YGD's big achievement?

Norah

YorkshireQueen

Why on earth would it not be?
Are you saying we should just tiptoe around her and not celebrate a big achievement with other GD?

I'm a bit confused. Precisely what is YGD's big achievement?

Finding a gullible man?

She hasn’t achieved anything apart from finding a boyfriend 🤣 hilarious

And getting her parents to continue letting her live with them free of charge, and her elder sister to cook her meals.