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AIBU

Gluten Free

(113 Posts)
1summer Mon 12-Feb-24 10:19:02

I am organising a brunch at home for my daughters baby shower - I don’t particularly like them but don’t want daughter to miss out.
I have invited my SIL who has decided she wants to eat a gluten free diet. I told her most things she will be able to eat but could she bring her own gluten free bagel, croissant, bread - whatever she prefers.
Well - she is very upset with me saying to be invited to my house then being asked to bring her own food is rude. She then said could someone pick her up and take her home as it’s only 2 weeks after her knee replacement and won’t be able to drive, she has also asked me to stay with her for a week after her knee replacement to look after her. So I am very good to her.
AIBU to ask someone with dietary requirements to bring own food.

Knitandnatter Tue 13-Feb-24 08:37:04

Jaffacake2

I always take my own food to meals as it reduces the anxiety for friends and family to cater for me. I have anaphylaxis to wheat protein and nuts and am very sensitive to cross contaminated foods, have been in shock multiple times.
It's made more difficult to cope with when people minimise a gluten free diet. People then sometimes don't fully understand people like me who are very allergic. Several people at my WI group and church often say things like " just cut the piece of that you can't eat " . They think I am just being fussy.

'Several people at my WI group and church often say things like " just cut the piece of that you can't eat " . They think I am just being fussy.'

What a ridiculous comment to make Jaffacake2! Do they not realise how dangerous anaphylactic shock is? Having witnessed several anaphylactic patients in shock during my working life I wouldn't wish it on anyone.

Perhaps you could suggest that the WI have a medical professional speaker to do a presentation on the topic with some very graphic illustrations? But, then again, you can't educate stupid.

Having to be constantly on the alert for anything that might. trigger this condition is often exhausting and I hope you cope well yourself flowers

As for the OP, I don't think it unreasonable to ask someone to bring their own choice of gluten free bread roll to a buffet where the host has catered with all other foods that everyone can eat. It's a buffet for goodness sake and the baby shower should be all about the mum-to-be and her baby, not someone who has CHOSEN to go on a gluten free diet.

kittylester Tue 13-Feb-24 08:51:44

Obviously a 'self absorbed pain in the bum', I will continue to avoid gluten as I dislike the diarrhoea it induces.

Gluten is not just in bread, cakes and pastry. Lots of frozen chips have it in the coating, lots of sausages have it, trendy macaroni cheese and other pasta dishes have it.

Try looking at food labels, just out of interest, to see how much everyday food has it in.

kittylester Tue 13-Feb-24 08:52:31

By the way, I was avoiding gluten way before Gwynnie came along.

flappergirl Tue 13-Feb-24 08:52:32

Abuelamia My comments were addressing the OP who claims her SIL is selectively gluten free. She insists on gluten free bread on certain occasions while at other times she devours wheat bread in quantity, as indeed she did on holiday.

If she had a genuine medical intolerance to gluten, she would not be able to eat her way through so much wheat bread and croissants etc. I'm therefore assuming she has self diagnosed an intolerance based on something she has read or heard.

I was in no way minimising anyone who suffers from any kind of allergy. Working in hospitality it is something we are all acutely aware of and go to great lengths to accommodate and take precautions against cross contamination.

This is extremely time consuming and expensive and can be irksome to say the least if we discover (which happens quite often) that the guest concerned is on a gluten/dairy diet by choice rather than medical necessity and has not informed us. If we knew, we would not have to employ extra staff and segregate a part of the kitchen to specially prepare their food.

merlotgran Tue 13-Feb-24 10:15:03

Surely hospitality is about providing food and drink for an occasion which is meant to be enjoyed?

Is it really so difficult to buy a small loaf or pack of gluten free rolls to cater for a guest who has decided, for whatever reason, to eliminate gluten from their diet? If you don’t wish to freeze unused bread just let her take it home.

I’m coeliac so my house is a gf zone but my friends and family never complain about having to eat gf bread or home made cake. I have a close friend who is vegan so I often bake a gf and vegan cake - now there’s a challenge!!

I wouldn’t dream of asking a visitor to bring their own food.

Anniebach Tue 13-Feb-24 10:20:35

Invite someone to eat a meal in your house but bring their
own food!

lemsip Tue 13-Feb-24 10:30:19

coeliac disease! It's not all about the bread

gluten is wheat, barley and rye* so is in sauces, gravy, and coatings on foods even some frozen chips! you can only eat 'real food' .. you can of course get gluten free gravy granules.

if you just prefer gluten free bread, well, it's horrible, why would you.

no kfc's or mcdonalds pizza's.

just saying!

and by the way......
gluten free bread contains tapioca and maize to make up for no wheat! other additives are just very similar to what is in any shop bought bread! I've just compared. the two

lemsip Tue 13-Feb-24 10:32:28

I agree with Anniebach it's the persons own responsibility to look after themselves not get anyone else involved

Casdon Tue 13-Feb-24 10:53:58

How intolerant people who are not intolerant to gluten are! If you suffered the abdominal pain, bloating and diarrhoea the intolerance causes you would be more sympathetic I’m sure.

Anniebach Tue 13-Feb-24 11:00:45

No one has ever asked me to bring my own food to their homes

OldFrill Tue 13-Feb-24 11:04:43

Anniebach

No one has ever asked me to bring my own food to their homes

Nor me, but l eat anything.

Anniebach Tue 13-Feb-24 11:07:27

Lucky you

Callistemon21 Tue 13-Feb-24 11:46:36

Casdon

How intolerant people who are not intolerant to gluten are! If you suffered the abdominal pain, bloating and diarrhoea the intolerance causes you would be more sympathetic I’m sure.

Some people are unaware of just how many foods contain gluten.

As I mentioned earlier, DD has been asked "Can you eat meat? What about potatoes?" Then they look bewildered when she mentions the gravy.

Jane112 Tue 13-Feb-24 11:59:08

The dismissal of people who can't eat gluten or wheat shows a real lack of understanding and consideration. I endure several days of suffering if I eat products with wheat in the ingredients and was advised to avoid it by a registered dietician. People who make light of it have no idea how much people who can't eat wheat or gluten miss out on. One of my favourite foods is fresh crusty bread but I haven't been able to eat it for years, wheat flour is also in cakes,biscuits,pastry, soups, sauces, stuffings, ready made chips, pizza and sausages. I make most baked products myself as about 80% of shop bought GF products are very disappointing and ridiculously expensive. Do those who criticise people on GF diets really think we miss out on so many favourite food, pay a premium for substandard alternatives and endure the derision of those who don't understand just to be trendy? You should try it for a couple of weeks and you might just have a little more understanding how awkward it actually is.

Callistemon21 Tue 13-Feb-24 12:08:12

There are some "naked" oven chips on the market, I think McCain does one.

However, I do understand; you could choose a very plain meal in a restaurant eg steak, chips, peas, tomatoes but even if you inform them you need gluten free, they may cook the chips in oil which has had non-gf chips cooked in it!

Skye17 Tue 13-Feb-24 14:58:01

lemsip

coeliac disease! It's not all about the bread

gluten is wheat, barley and rye* so is in sauces, gravy, and coatings on foods even some frozen chips! you can only eat 'real food' .. you can of course get gluten free gravy granules.

if you just prefer gluten free bread, well, it's horrible, why would you.

no kfc's or mcdonalds pizza's.

just saying!

and by the way......
*gluten free bread contains tapioca and maize to make up for no wheat! other additives are just very similar to what is in any shop bought bread! I've just compared. the two*

You are right, supermarket bread does tend to contain harmful additives.

However,

a) Gluten-free bread tends to contain more additives than ordinary bread. For example:

Sainsbury's Medium Sliced Wholemeal Bread

- Preservative: Calcium Propionate
- Caramelised Sugar
- Emulsifier: Mono- and Diacetyl Tartaric Acid Esters of Mono- and Diglycerides of Fatty Acids;

Sainsbury's Free From Brown Sliced Bread

- Humectant: Glycerine
- Psyllium Husk Powder
- Thickeners: Hydroxypropyl Methyl Cellulose, Xanthan Gum
- Preservatives: Calcium Propionate, Sorbic Acid
- Caramelised Sugar
- Flavouring

b) It is much easier and cheaper to find ordinary bread without additives than it is to find gluten-free bread without additives. Freshly baked bread from a bakery will not contain most (or any) of the additives that factory bread does.

This is why the Zoe health and nutrition researchers at King’s College London recommend freshly baked bread.

Poppyred Tue 13-Feb-24 15:05:23

This is a choice not a medical necessity- I think she’s the one being rude. Let her bring her own or forget to pick her up! 😀

Casdon Tue 13-Feb-24 15:08:23

It’s very hard to make edible home made gluten free bread that doesn’t taste like cardboard though, I’ve tried. The M&S bread I mentioned earlier doesn’t have too many additives so I’m prepared to eat it. Psyllium husk is fine by the way Skye17, it’s the outer coating of a seed, which adds fibre to the bread.

Norah Tue 13-Feb-24 15:13:51

1summer I have invited my SIL who has decided she wants to eat a gluten free diet. I told her most things she will be able to eat but could she bring her own gluten free bagel, croissant, bread - whatever she prefers.

Well - she is very upset with me saying to be invited to my house then being asked to bring her own food is rude. She then said could someone pick her up and take her home as it’s only 2 weeks after her knee replacement and won’t be able to drive

You're not rude. SHE has self imposed gluten rules.

Buy a packet of delicious gluten free crispbreads.

Ask her to call a taxi or someone else to pick her up.

Skye17 Tue 13-Feb-24 15:28:06

Casdon

It’s very hard to make edible home made gluten free bread that doesn’t taste like cardboard though, I’ve tried. The M&S bread I mentioned earlier doesn’t have too many additives so I’m prepared to eat it. Psyllium husk is fine by the way Skye17, it’s the outer coating of a seed, which adds fibre to the bread.

This is a GF bread recipe which my friend who is good at cooking says is OK. I haven’t tried it myself.

artisanbreadinfive.com/2010/01/05/gluten-free-crusty-boule/

Yes, I am not too bothered about psyllium husk powder, but it is an ingredient not found in domestic kitchens so I left it in the list.

Skye17 Tue 13-Feb-24 15:35:48

Casdon These two don’t have additives, apart from psyllium husk, though they also are not cheap.

deliciouslyguiltfree.com/products/keto-bread-roll-bag-of-6-rolls
(This from also sells GF wraps.)

www.amazon.co.uk/Dillon-Organic-Original-Gluten-Free-Sunflower/dp/B09QGWTTQL?psc=1&pf_rd_p=06ad6319-cbcd-4475-a88a-7dc2cf7747aa&pf_rd_r=G823YVN2H9WEDJZX2RAG&pd_rd_wg=zFNlC&pd_rd_i=B09QGWTTQL&ref_=pd_bap_m_grid_dv_rp_0_1_ec_ppx_yo2_mob_b_ts_rp_1_i&pd_rd_w=6mH6d&content-id=amzn1.sym.06ad6319-cbcd-4475-a88a-7dc2cf7747aa&tag=gransnetforum-21&pd_rd_r=024a9ccb-8d5f-48c5-8ba7-fa23bd35e451

Skye17 Tue 13-Feb-24 15:36:11

*firm not from

Casdon Tue 13-Feb-24 17:49:28

Thanks Skye17, that’s really helpful, I’ll definitely have a go at the recipe.

PaperMonster Tue 13-Feb-24 19:43:09

I don’t think you’re unreasonable to ask, although GF products are easy to pick up in the supermarket. I’m low carb so often have to bring my own food to events but I think that’s trickier to sort out for a host.

Skye17 Tue 13-Feb-24 21:05:09

Thanks Caleo. Holland and Barrett sell that Dillon bread, if you want to try a single loaf before buying six at a time from Amazon (the only way they sell them).

This is another possibility. Again, I haven’t tried it myself, but people say it’s OK if you tweak it to suit your oven. It’s more healthy than the other recipe I posted.

youtu.be/YKP13aWyw_8?si=3GHhhpdXk4j57IWa