Gluten Free

I don't think YABU but maybe you could be a bit kinder especially as your SIL is recovering from a knee replacement so might find it a little more difficult to purchase stuff.

You can purchase GF bread in supermarkets. You should get it for her. However if she has celiac disease she cannot eat gluten, barley etc in any form.

I'm gf by necessity and would have no problem whatsoever in providing my own grub, particularly as the ready made gf stuff in supermarkets is generally pretty awful!

I am coeliac, had it since 1982. True gluten-free people will take their own food, the mantra being, if in doubt ( that it's gluten-free) leave it out. Gluten is poison for us. Stand your ground, she wants to do it, let her, tell her, ok, bring your own that way you'll be 100% safe and sure there's no gluten. She sounds like a right diva. Don't dance to her tune, do your thing. If she asks, point out what's gf and what isn't. Has she even heard of cross contamination.? Hypochondriacs like this make my blood boil. I and thousands of others have no choice, so, shrug your shoulders and let her get on with it. All of it. Leave her to stew in her own juice. I'd love her to suffer the side effects of getting ZAPPED by gluten, it lasts anything up to or longer than 6 weeks and is most unpleasant. Shake your head, tell her to do one.

So many gluten free baked products are unpalatable. Why not ask her if she has any preferences regarding brands and provide that.

Why is she making such a big deal of it! Surely she'll have some bread/rolls etc at home anyway that she can bring. Anyway, agree with others it's easiest to buy some bread and freeze what isn't required for next time. If you didn't warn her and ask her to bring something and had nothing at all that she could eat I could understand her being upset, but you have both warmed her and made sure she can eat something from the table. Even if not coeliac it's possible to have severe reactions to gluten and I'm occasionally finding I've been accidentally 'glutined' by someone who wasn't fully aware of what contains gluten. If it's a passing fad and she decides to risk it because the gluten filled cake looks so good or something, I'd be rather less sympathetic.

I have gluten free friends. If it were a dinner party I’d cater for it. However if it’s a table buffet I’d buy a few gluten free and if they wanted more they should bring it. I don’t see why they would be offended. My granddaughter is dairy and eggs allergy and we tend to cater for her wherever we take her. It’s safer for her.

There are two diabetics in my family so I always make sure I have several non-starch or sweet items for them. I'm gluten-intolerant and can tell you gluten free bread tastes bad. There are a few brands that are not so bad, one of them is Canyon Bakehouse if you have it there. Schar is pretty good too.
I think we take our family for granted sometimes and forget that when inviting them to our home for a to-do, they are guests. If you would not ask anyone else to bring their own food, then do not ask her. She is your guest. The rest of what you said about her, I would probably have my number changed and move.

I am gluten intolerant and find that most gluten free options are pretty awful so only buy specific ones - so I would rather be asked to take my own than have someone try and buy a suitable product. It's very expensive so I wouldn't want it to go to waste

If you invite people to your home for food, the onus is on you to provide food that they can actually eat.

A lot of people with food allergies are made to feel that those of us who are so fortunate that we can eat anything don't believe that they cannot.

I too would have felt justified in asking her to bring some bread with her that she can eat, or to at least tell you what to buy for her.

In your place I would apologise for having hurt her feelings about the food.

But I would not put myself out either to fetch her or to fix up transport for her. Tell her regretfully that you cannot spare the time to fetch her.

Presumably, she knows many of those who are also invited, so she can ring round and ask for a lift.

She probably neither can nor should drive yet, but she could take a taxi, I presume.

Or she could regretfully decline your invitation.

I always take my own food if I go anywhere to eat as I don't expect anyone to cater for all my issues, but there are many. I would just pick her up 1 gluten free bread item, Asda own brand in the purple packets that are also egg free are very very acceptable.

You can, but I did this for a single coeliac at an event only to find that everyone else had eaten it all before she got to it. Tesco free from chocolate cake is delish! and not too pricey. If she IS coeliac and not just being a bit careful, then you don't have to be as diligent, so perhaps things that everyone can eat - potato pancakes and crisps will give her (almost) GF carbs, and then small tomatoes, celery and carrot sticks with a dip or salsa. Ham, cheese, chicken drumsticks, cocktail sausages. Salad food - coleslaw, potato salad.

Sounds an unreasonable request. Most people with specific dietary needs are us only too happy to bring what they need, make everything easier.

I'm gluten intolerant and rarely eat bread. When I do, I make it myself. If there's other food she can eat I don't see the problem. Although I will be one of those GF baguettes to make garlic bread if I have other GF peeps round for a meal.

She's being a bit precious. I can't eat most wheat - I know its awkward so I am always happy to bring my own rye bread and a flapjack. They can stay in my bag unmentioned if there is plenty of food I can manage - or come out to supplement what is on offer if necessary. Actually I don't like people to go to trouble and expense about it. What if they do, and then I'm just not very hungry... Playing on your good nature. Is she attention seeking?

My SIL is gluten-free and always brings her own gluten free breadto family gatherings-just in case.She manages to eat most of the food , so many foods cater for gluten free these days anyway.Your SIL sounds extremely demanding- you have invited her to a lovely brunch.She should be grateful that you are so accommodating,you are not her carer!

If she is not coeliac then you do not have to be too stringent, so make food that everyone can eat

Potato crisps, potato pancakes, rice or potato salad for her carbs (you can make these last 2 and coleslaw yourself to save money, although I must admit most supermarkets sell huge tubs of cheap coleslaw for less than £1)
Salad food
Ham, cheese, pate, cocktail sausages (not rolls - pastry is often a problem for us older ladies), chicken drumsticks
Salsa/cheese dip with celery, carrot, cucumber crudites
If you want sweet items:
Fruit salad
Trifle without sponges
but I must admit that Tesco GF chocolate cake is delish! and not too expensive - but you will have to make sure you put a slice aside for her before it all goes
Doubt that you will have alcohol, but a crafty sherry for her will make everything go down well

I was happy to buy gluten free for one friend, but she is so anxious that she always brings her own carbs anyway, so now we’re both happy. Lots of good ideas for a GF buffet on here though.

I'm just wondering if some posters would think someone with a nut or sesame seed allergy was being fussy or not bother with being too stringent about the food if they visited 🤔

I think that it's difficult to fully understand the danger of minimal cross contamination of wheat to someone suffering from coeliac disease or serious allergy. Even the best restraunts can make an error which sadly has put me into anaphylaxis. I now don't eat out. I remember a meal where a plate cover was put over my safe meal to bring to the table. The cover had crumbs on it from having been tested on a kitchen surface. Chips cooked in the same oil as breaded foods.
It's safer to take your own food rather than trust the caterer.

Gosh - get her gluten free bits she might not be the only one!
And knee re placements are no joke - of course she won’t be able to drive - hopes she gets the baby something nice though …

I usually take my gluten free stuff and so does my daughter in law with her egg and milk free diet for her daughter and nobody is offended . Some of my friends wouldn’t cope with gluten free so manage myself to avoid people’s stress - why not ?

I'm GF and while I get a bit irritated at pubs and restaurants that do not have GF (it's SO easy to provide) I know it can be hard for friends. I think SIL sounds demanding and is quite rude also! GF is dead easy to find even in small supermarkets, so you might like to have a few rolls in the freezer. It's not easy to cope with all the food preferences and sensitivities, and I almost always take my own. No biggie!

I would do a Buffet ..

Gluten free breads of 2 or 3 types

Charcuterie ( turkey, ham, assorted cheeses, cold cuts)

LIMIT THE CARBS AS THEY ARE NOT GLUTEN FREE

Perhaps a dish like oven baked Aubergine Parmigiana or a roast turkey or roast beef

Some smoked fish (salmon, trout, cod )

Dips without high carbs or hand made and crudities

A gluten free pizza with tomato, basil, mozzarella which is a Margharita

Club sandwiches on Gluten free bread

This is a special day for her and I would overlook the lack of protocol and just have a very pleasant day.

Perhaps one of her friends live close to her and can drop her off at home afterwards.

undines

I'm GF and while I get a bit irritated at pubs and restaurants that do not have GF (it's SO easy to provide) I know it can be hard for friends. I think SIL sounds demanding and is quite rude also! GF is dead easy to find even in small supermarkets, so you might like to have a few rolls in the freezer. It's not easy to cope with all the food preferences and sensitivities, and I almost always take my own. No biggie!

I am diabetic and just can't understand why they cannot provide sugar free drinks other than Cola which is stuffed with caffeine. There is rarely a dessert which is suitable either. 1 in 16 people is diabetic. It's the same in Supermarkets. I can access gluten free (1 in a 100 have an intolerance) where they have a special stand for gluten free products but you have to read all the backs of packets for sugar free.