Forgotten birthday!

I once forgot my wedding anniversary because I was so terribly busy with work. We laughed about it and no offence was taken.

Exactly Coolbreeze.

If you are friends on Facebook, the date would have come up, so maybe he was really busy and not even sat at his laptop. Next birthday of their that comes up, say... oh, another birthday. I didn't do anything special for mine, this year...and play it by ear. That having been said, I send a message to each child every day, at no specific time, whether they are in Malta or abroad...I do not wait for them to say Good Morning, or Good Night, or Happy Birthday / Christmas / Easter.

Both my children forgot to send anything for mothering sunday but they both phoned to apologise! Neither has forgotten my birthday so far. I'm thankful that they do seem to take some care of me despite having busy lives and living at a distance. The people I feel sorry for are those who don't have children, as getting older must be hard if you have no-one. I see mine reasonably frequently bearing in mind the distance.

My mum forgot my birthday, once.
She was really upset about it, but I didn't mind at all.

Happy belated Birthday lippyqueen.
It is difficult to remember with different time zones. You wake up on your birthday morning but it is the evening on the wrong date in Australia, I hope you will soon receive their wishes.

I think it is a generational thing. Us "older" people set more store on getting a card or present or just a text on a particular day. My son and my grandsons (all over 18) would never think about it unless they were actually seeing the birthday person on the day! I spend my life sending messages that say "it is so and so's birthday tomorrow" and hoping they will send a message at least! The silly thing is that they always have their phones in their hand and they keep diaries on their phones, how can they not know?

In my experience sons are not great about dates like this (except my autistic one, who lives at home and is so sweet, with his Pound Shop gifts!) It's sad, and not what we hope for as we raise a family, but I believe it is ESSENTIAL to have a full and fulfilling life separate from our children, and simply rejoice that they are happy. Anything else is just to leave ourselves open to heartache.

I’m sorry. That is hurtful. And yes, it has happened to me but then, I forgot my fils birthday one year. And he was devastated. Now I don’t give it a chance. I phone them! Or Wattsapp them. It’s a joke but I’d rather that than be forgotten again. When I turned 27 not a single person remembered my birthday. Including my mother, whom I’d met for lunch.

Both my husband and I forget our wedding anniversary every year.
The children usually remember, but I don’t think in nearly fifty years, either of us has ever remembered.

I have a very generous son who never forgets my birthday, he always sends me a generous present he has ordered on line. But.... he never phones up for a chat, if I did not email him or pop in to see him when I am near where they live I wouldn't see him bar perhaps once a year around Christmas. Just enjoy your chats, it means everything to us mums.
Happy birthday yesterday (I don't know how to do flowers on here, sorry)

I wonder what the OPs son would say if she missed his or the grandchildren’s birthday? I bet she doesn’t forget any of them.

It’s a real cop out saying young people have busy lives. We’ve all been there and done that but I can’t imagine any of us ever forgot to send a card or made a phonecall to close family on their birthday. These days it’s even easier with texts and emails.

I don’t know -my son, DIL and grandson live and work in America, but they always remember Mothers Day and my birthday.

As I always remember their birthdays etc.😗

I remember years ago when I was a busy widowed single mum forgetting my mothers birthday and the awful thing was that both my brother and sister forgot as well. She was really upset but we all loved her and I still feel regret about causing her hurt. I expect your son just genuinely forgot..

Primrose53

I wonder what the OPs son would say if she missed his or the grandchildren’s birthday? I bet she doesn’t forget any of them.

It’s a real cop out saying young people have busy lives. We’ve all been there and done that but I can’t imagine any of us ever forgot to send a card or made a phonecall to close family on their birthday. These days it’s even easier with texts and emails.

Totally agree. We all had busy lives one way or another.

I'm sorry this is sexist but I know from experience that most men are hopeless at remembering birthdays etc. They just are. My father rarely got it right and once sent my Mum a wedding anniversary card when it was actually her birthday. When my grandma died, my grandfather told us all that none of us would ever get cards again as he wouldn't send any and he didn't.

A bit of out of sight out of mind perhaps. He may catch up if he has genuinely forgotten. If not, just leave it. There is always next year.

I'll go against the grain, probably, I gave up with (my) birthdays some years ago, each one a further reminder of becoming officially worn out?!

If IsNibs gets me something, or we go out, that's fine, but I'm not that bothered. And if ever a card arrives saying "Another Year Older" . . . .yes, thx, I'm not that forgetful -- yet.

My main focus these days is remembering to renew my prescriptions on time!

My parents forgot my 20th birthday. It was only when my little brother produced a card and present that the awful truth hit them. Mum ‘beat herself up’ for ages over it but we laughed about it later and the cash inflation to make up for their tardiness came in handy as I was a student at the time. She was busy. A business to help with, 3 other children , a couple of grandkids, a large house ( 12 rooms) and a menagerie of pets to care for. I understand your hurt but it wasn’t on purpose. I’m glad you have a daughter near. Maybe, as others have said, she could have a word . Happy Birthday BTW. Treat yourself to something frivolous. X

Text him to tell him you had a nice birthday don’t dwell on it life’s too short. He has his gentle reminder hopefully not to be repeated! Treat yourself and enjoy a belated happy birthday from me 💐

Happy belated birthday wishes Lippyqueen.
Hope you still had a lovely day.💐

Belated happy birthday from me.

Sorry, but I refuse to accept that there’s something in the Y chromosome that makes men inherently unable to manage remembering dates or buying cards and gifts.

I’d be talking to my son if he had forgotten my birthday. When you hurt someone, even accidentally, it deserves to be acknowledged and corrected, imo. Not talking about it might lead to him thinking that you weren’t bothered by his forgetting.

Because of the time difference, try to find an hour maybe each week or fortnight that would suit you both, then Skype each other.
This is what my BiL does with family living at home as he, too, is in Australia.
He loves it out there.

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Maybe suggest you both linkup with WhatsApp and then you can video call anytime (time differences noted) without it costing a penny.

My elder son when on holiday has WhatsApp videoed me from Australia, Japan, the Seychelles and many other places.

He usually gives me a walk through of his accommodation and the views. Now I also get to see my two young grandsons enjoying themselves.

Only a few minutes but such an uplift.

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