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Is this rude or just me.

(124 Posts)
Bopeep14 Mon 01-Apr-24 17:21:57

My hubby and i have just been to drop some easter eggs off for our grandchild.
We didn't even get to see our grandchild our dil came to the door and just said thank you.
If someone traveled 30 miles to my house i would at least have asked them in.
They knew we were coming, is it me or is that just plain rude.

Poppyred Mon 01-Apr-24 17:32:36

Very rude! Is there bad blood between you? Where was your son? Grandchild?

Charleygirl5 Mon 01-Apr-24 17:36:45

I think that is disgraceful behaviour especially as they had been forewarned you were coming.

BlueBelle Mon 01-Apr-24 17:38:18

Seems strange if they had approved your visit or by ‘they knew we were coming’ do you just mean you said at the last minute ‘we ll pop some eggs over for the kids’
I m afraid I wouldn’t have handed the eggs over to the daughter in law I’d have said
Hello Jane we won’t stop too long but we ve just come to give Janet and John their eggs……and took a step forward

Where was your son in this little meeting ?

Judy54 Mon 01-Apr-24 17:39:55

If they knew you were coming why did they not invite you in. It seems bizarre to do a 60 mile round trip just to drop Easter eggs off, not see your grandchild nor your Son and not be offered refreshments!

BlueBelle Mon 01-Apr-24 17:42:32

It seems you ve been posting about in law problems since 2018

Primrose53 Mon 01-Apr-24 17:43:25

Very rude. I would have found that most upsetting.

Bopeep14 Mon 01-Apr-24 17:57:49

Bluebelle, yes i have you are correct, what has that got to do with it.
I have more than one son and daughters whom i get along with just fine.
I was just asking if it was rude, while i would never do this to someone i would at least invite them in for a cup of tea, maybe this is the norm for them. We don't see much of them just birthday's Christmas etc. I have no idea where my son and grandchild were maybe they were out although i doubt it as it was pouring down with rain and his car was on the drive.

Hithere Mon 01-Apr-24 18:04:00

Were you invited to drop the eggs?
Did you inform your son and dil you would drop them off?
Huge difference who initiated this event

Driving 60 miles to drop Easter eggs as an excuse for a visit is manipulative.

Too bad your son seems to be hiding behind his wife. He should be the one talking to you, not her

Sarnia Mon 01-Apr-24 18:07:24

A 60 mile round trip and you were left on the doorstep? Surely a cup of tea at the very least and the chance to give your grandchild their egg personally would have been more appropriate. So in answer to your question; Yes, it is rude, very rude indeed.

ordinarygirl Mon 01-Apr-24 18:09:21

had your son and DIL argued and did not want you there?

Germanshepherdsmum Mon 01-Apr-24 18:11:29

I suspect there is rather more to this.

Bopeep14 Mon 01-Apr-24 18:12:09

I rung my son and asked what day it would be ok to drop the eggs off, he said today. So i assumed it was ok. I would never go to his house without letting him know.

BlueBelle Mon 01-Apr-24 18:12:17

Well I guess if you have had ongoing ‘in law’ problem it does have a lot to do with it, history is history

On the face of your story it sounds very rude of them indeed and I d have been very hurt although I still ask where was your son in the arrangements of your visit.
If I was going to visit my son, daughter in law and grandchildren on a special occasion and driving 60 miles round trip I would make the arrangements through my son not with the in law! and be very very surprised that he didn’t come to greet me when I knocked on the door !

pascal30 Mon 01-Apr-24 18:20:23

why didn't you ask her if you could give the eggs to your grandchildren and talk to your son?

Bopeep14 Mon 01-Apr-24 18:24:08

Bluebelle i did make the arrangement with my son, earlier this week as i have already stated. My history has nothing to do with this i was just asking a simple question is it rude or not.
I have a brilliant relationship with my other daughter in laws one of which is no longer married to my son but we still get on great, i still look after my grandchild while she is at work and she knows she is welcome anytime in my home.

Grammaretto Mon 01-Apr-24 18:30:11

You know it's rude. Why are you asking on here?

BlueBelle Mon 01-Apr-24 18:32:52

I see we posted at the same time bopeep so I ll answer your more recent post
You did the right thing to ask your son what day to drop the eggs off but was no time discussed maybe they were just not prepared for you at the time you arrived but I find it so strange that you didn’t ask for your son or grandkids when she opened the door I wouldn’t have just turned round and left to drive another 30 miles back
I m trying to get the picture as it sounds so bizarre …she opened the door took the eggs out of your hand and shut the door and you just turned and went away ?? Wouldn’t you knock again and say we ve driven here to see Janet and John we won’t stop too long or wouldn’t you have rung your son from behind the closed door and said what’s going on we re here and not been asked in ?
Both son and daughter in laws behaviour sounds bizarre but so does yours

petra Mon 01-Apr-24 18:38:41


I suspect there is rather more to this.

Of course there is. If it was a perfectly happy family meeting to give the grandchildren their eggs any normal person would say are you ok, is anything wrong, where’s the kids

buffyfly9 Mon 01-Apr-24 18:42:23

There is more to this than we know so it's difficult to have an opinion. Yes, it's incredibly rude and I would have been incredibly angry!! I think I would have rung the doorbell, asked for the return of the Easter eggs along with a promise to never darken their door again.

Germanshepherdsmum Mon 01-Apr-24 18:45:50

my history has nothing to do with this

Really? I suspect it has everything to do with ‘this’.

Bopeep14 Mon 01-Apr-24 18:48:38

I think you may be right ordinarygirl.

Ladyleftfieldlover Mon 01-Apr-24 18:54:28

Why didn’t you simply put a foot in the door and ask to see your grandchild?

crazyH Mon 01-Apr-24 18:58:06

son and d.I.l. might have had a little tiff. It happened to me once. Went to my son’s house. Daughter-in-law stayed upstairs, the whole time (2 hours) I was there. But I did see the children and the next day, she did apologise.

Casdon Mon 01-Apr-24 19:05:13

I read this that you invited yourselves to your son’s family home, not that they invited you? Your son is at fault I think for not answering the door as he knew you were going to what I assume they interpreted as ‘drop the eggs off’ for your grandchildren. Perhaps they were going out, or didn’t want you to stay for some other reason, but regardless, I think it was unfair of him not to speak to you himself, and to expect his wife to answer the door. Make sure you direct your upset directly at him.