Is this rude or just me.

Bopeep I have a friend whose DiL is exactly the same. My friend looks after the children for weekends and during school holidays so the DiL can work, persue her hobby or just go away and the DiL never even says thank you let alone give her a small bunch of flowers. Is the DiLs own mother still around? I wonder what her relationship with her own mother is like?

I was once so stressed that I told DH to uninvite his friends. He had invited a family, a work colleague, for the day and I was in a really bad mood and they were the last people I wanted to see.
He cancelled them at the last minute and I don't think we ever saw them again. They were very offended.

Germanshepherdsmum

^my history has nothing to do with this^

Really? I suspect it has everything to do with ‘this’.

Agreed. I suspect the history has everything to do with it as well. Was there a time agreed upon? Are you in a low contact situation with them ? Were you actually trying to drop off eggs or were you trying to use the eggs to get a visit ? Your history will make all this make much more sense and you know it op.

Well it’s certainly not normal for grandparents to arrived with Easter eggs and their own child (the son) not only doesn’t come to greet them but doesnt seem to have made contact afterwards
A lot more history to this than a ripped daughter in law

Rude not ripped sorry

Sixty miles is long way to drive to drop off Easter eggs (I note plural) for one child. I don’t know the history that others are alluding to, nor do I want to, but from an ecological perspective it’s excessive.

As it’s now Monday, I imagine the child had already had more than enough chocolate. Maybe DiL had been up all night with the child being sick. Maybe she wanted to keep it quiet that more chocolate had just arrived.

It would be typical for a man to say yeah, come over and then forget to tell his wife. Maybe she felt rough after eating too much chocolate herself yesterday. Maybe she was up to her eyes in laundry. Who knows?

Not that I would have driven that far just to deliver chocolate but I would just have found a nice pub or cafe and chalked it up to bad timing rather than take to social media to complain.

No it isn't just you, it was rude Bopeep.

This sounds to me as though your DiL has been annoyed that your son agreed to the visit. He would have found it hard to turn you away so she did. There is some animosity here I think.

It is odd to travel thirty miles to "drop off " something unless you happen to be passing through on your way to some other place. My guess is you are trying to rationalise being a little bit of a pest.
You are a good person and you will be a happier person if you leave them alone more.

PS Were they chocolate eggs?

Are the parents trying to give their children healthy food, and so give very little or no sweets. Some people give children healthy diets where all the sugar is a natural part of a fruit such as a whole apple or orange.

Then why accept the eggs Caleo? Why not ask relatives not to bring chocolate eggs but bring something else instead?

that is true, Smileless.

I guess the daughter in law hates being rude as do most people, and maybe she felt what she did was the best she could do . Maybe her mother in law intimidates her . Who knows?
Time for some direct talking from both parties?

When I say to someone can I drop something off I mean just that, I go to their door and drop it off, not expecting to be asked in, whether it is my family or not. Many a time I have dropped something off to my family and not seen one of them for more than 2 minutes. If you had wanted a visit, you should've ask for that in advance. As others have said, they might have been going out, had visitors, doing jobs or 100s of other reasons, why it was not convenient at that very time.
Whatever the reason your DIL obviously did not want you inside, for reasons known only to herself (possibly you too) but we cannot comment on that. It does appear rude yes, but appearances do not always tell the full story.

But why have a goat the daughter in law
Where’s the son he accepted the visit

It's plain rude.
If someone nips in from over the road, it's polite to offer a cuppa, let alone a 60 mile round trip.

I would hate to think I'd instilled such bad manners into my children, (if I had them)

I don't understand why everyone is going out of their way to excuse it.

On the face of it, I think it was rude of them not to invite you in or your son to have at least made an effort to thank you personally, even just at the door and perhaps explain that it wasn't a good time for a visit. In lieu of that, a thank you text or a photo text sent later showing the gc with the eggs would have been nice. All of that said, I'd now shrug it off and not dwell on it. Your heart was in the right place, you provided an Easter treat for the GC and that's what's important. Acknowlegement is nice but not necessary. Maybe try to keep expectations low going forward.

Take a flask

But it’s the sons problem MissA we don’t even know if the daughter in law knew about the visit The poster rang the son and he said yes to the visit but was missing when they arrived It was very rude but not necessarily the daughter in laws that was rude

Nobody asked them to make a 60 mile round trip to deliver a couple of Easter Eggs. Why not stick ten quid in an Easter card or send some other small gift? OP asked her son when she could drop the eggs off. He said Monday but is conveniently absent along with the grandchild when his parents arrive. Maybe they were there and maybe they weren’t. Maybe the DiL was home alone, busy and didn’t want or need the interruption. Easter Monday is a working day for many people. I agree with win, Drop off means drop off.

BlueBelle

But it’s the sons problem MissA we don’t even know if the daughter in law knew about the visit The poster rang the son and he said yes to the visit but was missing when they arrived It was very rude but not necessarily the daughter in laws that was rude

If my partner was rude enough to disappear, or not be there, then I would hope to be a bit more gracious myself.

Incredible rude whatever the history.

I suspect there’s a lot more to the situation that the poster may not even be aware of.

But the history definitely plays a role.

Well, I think it’s extremely rude and also extremely odd! Is there a back story?

It’s a long way to go to drop off eggs even if the relationship is strained the effort should be acknowledged. It was so rude to just answer the door and take the eggs and to be treated like a delivery driver. If this happened to me it would probably be the last trip I would make.

There's no doubt that there could be a whole host of reasons, which aren't for the visitor to know, or any of their business.

The fact remains that it's rude.
Bad manners.

Do these people behave like this with everyone, and does everyone tiptoe around them saying "well, perhaps....."?

I doubt it.