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I'm far too sensitive

(137 Posts)
Skylight18 Wed 10-Apr-24 00:56:03

I've always been what DH describes as an empath. Lately I find one of my traits seems to be getting worse. An example is I'll receive a WhatsApp message from family members. If I feel the tone is off or my reply has been dismissed with a throwaway comment or ignored it can leave me feeling really upset. This can change my mood from happy to upset & anxious at the flick of a switch. I know I'm being unreasonable & I should tell myself not my issue but that's the problem, I can't. If anyone can relate or help me to stop worrying so much about how others are feeling, especially family, I'd really appreciate it.

Churchview Wed 10-Apr-24 20:28:00

Many people who others consider too sensitive have become so as a result of the insensitive or cruel behaviour of others.

If you are raised to expect the worst or are manipulated, put down or treated badly in life it can make you watchful or hypervigilant.

I was raised in a family where passive aggression, undermining and actual aggression were a constant threat...now I look for the signs of it.

flappergirl Wed 10-Apr-24 21:59:04

This might sound like a very trivial, or even bonkers question, but are you by any chance a Pisces Skylight?

Skylight18 Wed 10-Apr-24 22:50:55

flappergirl

This might sound like a very trivial, or even bonkers question, but are you by any chance a Pisces Skylight?

No & with respect I'd rather not say.

zakouma66 Wed 10-Apr-24 22:57:00

An empath can feel the feelings of another. Sometimes before or instead of the original person grasping whats going on.

Mamasperspective Fri 12-Apr-24 09:54:46

I would consider seeing a therapist to learn different ways to process the information. Can be really helpful.

M0nica Fri 12-Apr-24 10:16:02

zakouma66

An empath can feel the feelings of another. Sometimes before or instead of the original person grasping whats going on.

Or at least they think they can, My experience is that people like that are more often wrong than right.

I also think it is very intrusive, I wouldn't want someone, claiming to feel as I do in distressing situation, It would make a bad situation worse. I would rather seek the company of someone who respects my autonomy and offers sympathy.

sarahcyn Fri 12-Apr-24 11:21:27

It’s wonderful that you are aware that you may be over sensitive and that it might be overshadowing your life.
What about contacting your local mental health support and asking for cognitive behavioural therapy? There are lots of mental “tools” you can learn to help you gain resilience.

Heater Fri 12-Apr-24 11:57:25

If you use the microphone on WhatsApp you can leave a short message which can come across much clearer than a text which sometimes can be interpreted wrongly, I use the microphone a lot to friends and family

Etoile2701 Fri 12-Apr-24 12:47:29

I am exactly the same.

Grannie314 Fri 12-Apr-24 12:47:56

I worry too when it comes to grandchildren. Their other parent abandoned them so I'm ultra sensitive about not hurting them any further; and I take rudeness in stride.

Daffydilly Fri 12-Apr-24 13:20:19

biglouis

For a contented life make as little use of social media as possible.

But WhatsApp isn't really social media is it? It's similar to a text between friends or family, often in a group.

MayBee70 Fri 12-Apr-24 13:32:33

Skylight18

flappergirl

This might sound like a very trivial, or even bonkers question, but are you by any chance a Pisces Skylight?

No & with respect I'd rather not say.

Ouch. Now that’s an example of a rather curt reply…I’m sure that flappergirl wasn’t meaning to be intrusive….

4VivGreen Fri 12-Apr-24 13:42:05

I get this with my adult children who lead incredibly busy lives, they work and raise children. I was very busy working when they were growing up. I am now retired and miss them so much, the girls live abroad. I had a word with myself. Now that I have time to concentrate on them, they are too busy for me. I am lucky to get a quick text. However, we are thinking of joining them in Australia and they are absolutely overjoyed. Text messages do not tell a fraction of the story.

MissAdventure Fri 12-Apr-24 13:45:09

I used to avoid sensitive types when my girl was ill.

It's too much to manage others' feelings as well as your own. I wish I could be more understanding.

sankev Fri 12-Apr-24 14:32:53

I have a daughter who is the same . She analyses every conversation whether on social media or in person and then frets about it afterwards. She once rang me to see if her brother was upset with her . When I asked her why she said because he only put 2 kisses at the end of a text message he sent her when he usually put 3 !! I tend to be the opposite in as much as my husband says I am far too understanding when somebody actually does something to upset me but I can always see the other side of the argument. Unfortunately I think it’s just different personalities reactions to different things. I also don’t like confrontation and will avoid it if possible.

Coronation Fri 12-Apr-24 14:33:01

@matybee70 it's interesting as I didn't think the reply to Pisces question was curt.

Polly7 Fri 12-Apr-24 15:24:42

Glad of thread thnx
To Curley Whitley I find comments harsh tbh
It's not about 'being adult enough' it's about sensitivity and it's definitely not about poor me mentality!! That's unfair and u true it's the last thing it could be
More about hating disharmony and upset, wondering if you've upset person and how to fix it because you are a Caring person's. I'd rather be a bit too sensitive than too thick skinned or insensitive any day, these people are the salt of the earth that puts balance on the trolls etc. It ain't easy being a sensitive. Respect appreciated please... not our fault genes, nurture, in doctrines may have been dished out heavily.
I hard disharmony I really struggle with others misfortunes as feel for them deeply and can step into their emotions in a tick. I didn't ask to be this type of person. I do t criticise or name called insensitives.

Polly7 Fri 12-Apr-24 15:32:15

Yes it's personalities and I think hormones play a part
If we all strive to find a middle line maybe, these texts really help to see perspective thanks, and if upsetting to take kn board the constructive advice, I'm going that route instead now, We didn't have all these social interactions back in the day and looking back life was easier 😊. PM me anyone if want

mlynne239 Fri 12-Apr-24 15:33:18

I once listened to a program on how to email ie a work type situation. It was outlined how hard an email can sound compared the the dame words spoken but having visual clues eg eye contact, smile etc and we were instructed to overdo the polite niceties in our messages. Had a manager who did this to an extreme and his instructions never caused me to feel offended.

Polly7 Fri 12-Apr-24 15:34:23

Ps. So it's finding the right balance i guess , finding yourself
Don't stop being sensitive you are a good person

C1nders20 Fri 12-Apr-24 16:02:11

Hi. Just joined ! Your message could almost be mine. Empathy especially family with so many diverse thoughts. Reading feedback and will have to comment then maybe. Dont like media but here we are ! Trying.

Chaitriona Fri 12-Apr-24 16:09:35

Slowing down our in breath is good. Lengthening the out breath. Perhaps sighing or humming the breath out. Feeling ourselves grounded, that the earth is supporting us. Being loving and accepting of ourselves. Feeling that we are enough in ourselves for ourselves.
It is difficult to know what others are thinking or feeling. It is easy to be mistaken. Time passes. Moods pass. If we are calm and act well and kindly to others, it makes us feel more secure in ourselves

NotSpaghetti Fri 12-Apr-24 16:10:09

Have you read the thread about music that makes people teary?

Yes, and although some posts are genuinely moving, and i may have felt the writer's pain in my heart (and even thought about it later that day) they have not had an impact on the rest of my day...
I think that would be pretty extreme.

Polly7 Fri 12-Apr-24 16:11:12

Do u think ADHD can be a factor. Iv done on line tests it seems off looking into this side as older but seems many adults do. Ala Chaser Anne 😊

MissAdventure Fri 12-Apr-24 16:12:48

NotSpaghetti

^Have you read the thread about music that makes people teary?^

Yes, and although some posts are genuinely moving, and i may have felt the writer's pain in my heart (and even thought about it later that day) they have not had an impact on the rest of my day...
I think that would be pretty extreme.

That's strange, because certain things I read on those threads do stay with me, and I think of them again, for years sometimes.