I'm far too sensitive

Excuse typos & wrong spelling, checking in quickly between work emails. I'm obviously distracted today 🤦‍♀️😂

Don't write the wrong thing on a work email.

MissAdventure

I'm not keen on the word empath, any more than I am on the diagnosis of narcissist, about everyone who is selfish.

Being too sensitive, or anxious is nearer the mark, surely, for people who read imagined meanings into situations or conversations.

Regardless of the title, when people are prone to soaking up the emotions of others like a sponge and they recognise when others are upset more than the average person then it can become a problem. They aren't necessarily more caring although many are. People can be just as caring without being an empath, ie people who are just far more intuitive.

I get your point Skylight, but in that case why are you misinterpreting what seem 'off' messages when they come from people close to you who you know and understand.

I am always very uncomfortable with the use of empathy. I wouldn't dare to say that I could know or understand how someone else is thinkingand feeling, how can I ? and I think those who think they can are dangerous. It is like the nonsense about 'walking in other people's shoes' You can't, they won't fit.

I can certainly have deep sympathy for someone's plight and do what I can to help them, but to claim that I know how they are feeling or thinking, no way.

Have you read the thread about music that makes people teary?

I spent the last few days blubbing almost constantly as I read about other peoples mums, songs which I don't even like, and situations I've never been in.

Everyone who contributed to it seemed to be doing the exact same thing.

Maybe the thread attracted empaths, though?

M0nica

I get your point Skylight, but in that case why are you misinterpreting what seem 'off' messages when they come from people close to you who you know and understand.

I am always very uncomfortable with the use of empathy. I wouldn't dare to say that I could know or understand how someone else is thinkingand feeling, how can I ? and I think those who think they can are dangerous. It is like the nonsense about 'walking in other people's shoes' You can't, they won't fit.

I can certainly have deep sympathy for someone's plight and do what I can to help them, but to claim that I know how they are feeling or thinking, no way.

In that case all the highly regarded psychologists who believe there are people who can be described as intuitive empaths are talking rubbish 🤔

MissAdventure

Have you read the thread about music that makes people teary?

I spent the last few days blubbing almost constantly as I read about other peoples mums, songs which I don't even like, and situations I've never been in.

Everyone who contributed to it seemed to be doing the exact same thing.

Maybe the thread attracted empaths, though?

😁👍

Calendargirl

Never heard of an ‘empath’ before reading this thread.

I thought it was a race of aliens from Star Trek.

Narcissists are attracted to empaths, apparently, because it is easy to manipulate them.

I'm not convinced of that, either.

Do some research 😊

Sounds as though someone has been doing too much research.

MissAdventure

Narcissists are attracted to empaths, apparently, because it is easy to manipulate them.

I'm not convinced of that, either.

Interestingly the opposite is true. They have a deep understanding of when they are being
manipulated and they have the abilty to act on it and with no trouble doing so. It's a form of protection.

I think that's the trouble with people self diagnosing.

Narcicissts end up being akin to murderers, and empaths as almost angels on earth.

It has taken me a long time to realise that if someone is (or seems) brusque, short tempered or downright rude to me it is not my problem. It is their problem and I can only control my own reaction. We have little idea what may be on another person’s mind or how their day is going, try to give them a break.

Whether an empath or not, not wise to soak up other's negativity.

If I did that, I would see if I could help right away.
Else leave things be, as their privacy.

fancythat

Whether an empath or not, not wise to soak up other's negativity.

If I did that, I would see if I could help right away.
Else leave things be, as their privacy.

Good advice

Elrel

It has taken me a long time to realise that if someone is (or seems) brusque, short tempered or downright rude to me it is not my problem. It is their problem and I can only control my own reaction. We have little idea what may be on another person’s mind or how their day is going, try to give them a break.

Thank you, I do try to do this

My reason for adding this thread is because I was having a particularly bad day. I've always been seen as someone to turn to for help and advice but occasionally someone to kick when people are down. Mostly I cope but yesterday I became angry and upset. I'm not working today and feel a lot better. Thanks for the replies.

I've just been reading about compassion fatigue and how it can affect those who are natural caregivers. Is there an element of that in what you are experiencing, Skylight ? I certainly think the awful news we hear every day about human suffering can gradually undermine us, especially when we feel powerless to help.

Nell8

I've just been reading about compassion fatigue and how it can affect those who are natural caregivers. Is there an element of that in what you are experiencing, Skylight ? I certainly think the awful news we hear every day about human suffering can gradually undermine us, especially when we feel powerless to help.

I can't believe that before I read this I was in tears thinking about exactly this & wondering if its partly to do with my emotions at the moment. 🥲
Today I'm trying to give mind body and soul a rest but have ended up with the tears flowing,not a bad thing in my case. Thanks for the reply

Nell8, I have now read an article on compassion fatigue, thank you. I won't go into too many details but the past couple of years which include organising & supporting my family through a quick succession of bereavements, along with other supportive responsibilities, childcare etc has taken it's toll. This thread has helped me to realise before helping others you need to put on your own oxygen mask. Mine is now firmly on. Thanks again for all the replies, even the harsher ones. They have all helped.

Skylight

Do not misinterpret what I said. I thought you were meant to be an empath!

I said that I struggle with the concept. I went no further than that.

M0nica

Do not misinterpret what I said. I thought you were meant to be an empath!

I said that I struggle with the concept. I went no further than that.

That's absolutely ok Monica. As I said I've appreciated all the replies including yours. Each and every one gave me food for thought. Compared to the past few days I'm more at peace now which is my wish for all.

Elrel

It has taken me a long time to realise that if someone is (or seems) brusque, short tempered or downright rude to me it is not my problem. It is their problem and I can only control my own reaction. We have little idea what may be on another person’s mind or how their day is going, try to give them a break.

Quite..don't make assumptions or take things personally