Sometimes I despair.

?a clue to what? Have you never heard the expression I despair of you kids?
Lost in translation perhaps.

A clue to how you really felt. Yes, the expression "I despair" is commonly used but you also spoke of squashed plates. Squashed could suggest damage.

The tone of the post seemed to me (and quite a few others) to be saying you not only didn't understand why this had been done but also that you were at least a little upset about it. Reading the comments this is obvious. Also, why start a thread about something which really didn't bother you at all?

I was one of the ones who thought Good grief! what a fuss about some plates (which I also think are hideous, which may have influenced how I felt). According to you now I (and others) shouldn't have thought that so obviously we needed a clue to your actual feelings which, now, you seem to be claiming, were blasé.

I don't believe you don't understand this. Why don't I believe that? Because of a certain defensiveness on your part when people expressed their "wtf?" feelings.

Germanshepherdsmum

Then why start the thread? It has been very divisive, unnecessarily so.

Over reaction is a characteristic of this forum, over thinking every thread, in real life that happens too, a wrong word, a funny look, a forgotten birthday can cause lasting problems.

My 1st wife said one word to criticize her sisters husband - they never did speak again

People ‘overreact’ when the poster’s true meaning isn’t clear. It was some time before the OP came back to clarify her own apparent overreaction to the misplacing of her plates. She then accused ‘the usual suspects’. All totally unnecessary. Another thread where the OP winds people up and watches them go.

Especially when over-reaction is defined as any reaction you didn't anticipate because you thought everyone would simply "get it" straight away 😉

👍🏻 I doubt many of us are mind readers.

David49

Germanshepherdsmum

Then why start the thread? It has been very divisive, unnecessarily so.

Over reaction is a characteristic of this forum, over thinking every thread, in real life that happens too, a wrong word, a funny look, a forgotten birthday can cause lasting problems.

My 1st wife said one word to criticize her sisters husband - they never did speak again

If all it takes is one word to wreck a sisters' relationahip, I suggest it was a crap, and doomed, relationship anyway.

It is of course a total no-no to criticise one's sister's husband so your wife wouldn't have criticised him if she cared about her sister.

When I joined many years ago bullying was rife,indeed my introductory post was mocked and scorned. After a few weeks I jotted down some names in an old jotter and on looking back some of them are still active here. Who knew!

A rational argument, even one some people don't like, is not bullying. I'm sorry you have felt bullied, kc. And I still am glad you found the plates you treasure and still hope you are feeling better after your operation.

I have no negative feelings towards you and never have had.

I rarely notice the OP’s name.

Germanshepherdsmum

I rarely notice the OP’s name.

Likewise. And I'm always amazed when people remember stuff others have said from long ago, or when they recognise someone who has left and returned with a different username.

Or when they write down posters’ names. Unless it was something truly horrible, I don’t remember who has said what from one day to the next.

Germanshepherdsmum

I rarely notice the OP’s name.

Me too. That's why I jotted down 1 or 2 .

I am, fortunately, able to remember the names of those who have been so unpleasant that they have been banned.

Germanshepherdsmum

I am, fortunately, able to remember the names of those who have been so unpleasant that they have been banned.

Me too, GSM. No need to write any names down. You never forget.
I still get anxious when I see certain names.

However, I don't see any actual bullying on this thread, just people expressing an opinion/difference of opinion.

I never worked that one out or found who Queen Bee was.

kircubbin2000

I never worked that one out or found who Queen Bee was.

I wonder if she knew who it was too? 😂

Talking of usernames, yours is rather intriguing, kircubbin. Has it anything to do with Kir (only use it in cheese fondue), running a Cub Pack, etc?
Of course you don't have to tell if you don't want to 🙂

No it's a village.

It was probably as someone else has said that she thought the dinner plates would be used first and the new arrangement would mean you wouldn’t have to lift the side plates to get at the bigger ones. She was thinking of you and not feeling so strong after being unwell.

I agree with what you have said. In fact, I have called her out a couple of times for the abrupt, and sometimes unpleasant things she comes out with.
Oops! Now the fur will fly!

I think you are perhaps concentrating on issues that are, in the grand scheme of things, fairly unimportant.

Plates aren't really important, it's the people around you who are - and your daughter was there to help you when you needed it. That is what is important.