My sister won’t share a potential refund on a holiday

maddyone

I’m confused. Did you pay for the entire cruise for all three of you? Or did you each pay one third each?
If you all paid one third I think the refund is due to your sister, however unfriendly she is, because she agreed to move to an inferior room.

I think exactly as you do maddie, and am also confused over who paid for what.

At first glance, and if I've read the rather confusing situation correctly, I wouldn't like to be told I was the odd one out and was going to an inferior room, and it would add insult to injury if the recompense for my doing so went to someone else.

It sounds like your historic issues with your sister may have come to a head with this.

What does her behaviour trigger in you?

If you really don't want to be around your sister you'll need to let go of her. How about looking at the relationship as a whole and see if you can find more positive aspects of it.

You mention that she is single. This would suggest that she doesn't have financial or indeed emotional back-up in the way a marriage might offer hence her wanting the refund for herself. Sounds like she has some fear.

Can you not do some inner work and find some kindness towards her.

If I had been put into a cabin with no window and therefore no view I wouldn't be very happy either.

I would let this settle for a while and work through your feelings before you decide anything.

Just be glad that you got yo share with your friend rather than your sister having to put up with you!

I would rather have my own inside cabin than have to share!

Irrelevant I know...
Just saying.

I think SuzeQ has sailed 🛳️ off into the sunset with the refund…. No sign of her on her thread recently.

Like Grannytomany, I’m struggling to understand the maths!
Could it be the single cabin was £680 less than the cabin with two sharing ( and sharing the cost)?
I can’t imagine me even mentioning that my sister came to stay ‘ at my expense’, so maybe SuzeQ is dwelling on the financial side of things ( which may not even happen). I’d let it go.

But you had the holiday you paid for, your sister didn’t so the money belongs to her.

If it was a holiday paid towards by all 3 of you then yes i think the refund should also be shared between 3 of you.- i doubt the company addressed the refund or acommpanying letter/email to just her so the fair thing is to share it out. And if they did then why even tell you, its just like using it as a reason to gloat.

I had a similar situation with my sister so I can understand where you are coming from .
I paid for a ticket for her to come with me.
I upgraded her from economy to business class.
Our flight was badly delayed and the airline paid out delay compensation.
It was paid directly to her . I would have expected at the very least she offer the compensation back to me - but no she kept it .
Had she offered it I would have let her keep it - but no offer .
It left a bad taste !!

So I understand your feelings about your problem of the refund .

I would think twice about asking for a refund. The holiday company would come back with the reply that you got the original cabin that you requested plus another, albeit inferior, cabin for free. Therefore a further fee, for the extra cabin, could be due, but in the interests of goodwill nothing extra would be charged. Well done that rep for arranging an extra cabin.

You can choose your friends but not your family.Your sister is a user and I agree with Macadia- let it go and let her go ,too. Life is too short .

And if shes that mean- minded a person then no dont invite her again nor at xmas to stay over or 'airport' stopovers etc- shes treating your home like a free hotel! If you want her at xmas lunch, just state its lunch only.(i would have asked her if she was going to use the £680 for a nice weekend away for the 3 of us instead then?) Or said, 'put it to use for a hotel stay whenever you come for xmas or need airport stays' 😂

If no-one has actually got a refund, wait and see what happens.

From your inital post I cannot fathom that your sister could feel entitled to a refund, as it sounds as if she finished up in a better cabin than the one b ooked.

It is easier to drop someone, friend or relativem than to make up the quarrel if you later regret it. So I would choose a medium path here.

Don't continue going on holiday with your sister, but do invite her for short visits once or twice a year.

It sounds as though you had exactly the cabin you were expecting, but with two of you in there instead of three? Admittedly your sister had a cabin to herself, but no porthole. Honestly I don't think you are due a refund, unless she's feeling generous.

The issue here is not the money which does not seem to be short. It is the principle. And this seems to be the straw that breaks the camels back. The sister is tired and on her own and all the grievances of all the years are now surfacing. Either let it blow up into something you will both regret, or meet for a weekend somewhere between you while the weather is nice and sort it out. Sisters are valuable, even if irritating at times. I have one good one, one irritating one and one lost one.

I’m wondering if your sister is ‘winding you up’. The refund would come to you as the holder of the purse. She’s pulling your strings.
Tell her there was a refund of £1. and it arrived in your account. She may see the funny side. I personally wouldn’t have used a windowless cabin. She’s a brave lady. xx

You couldn't pay me to go in an inside cabin, so claustrophobic, why didn't you have it, it must have seen she was being sidelined for your friend, shes your sister after all, seems very petty but maybe an excuse to distance for you. Do you know how lonely life can be for someone living on their own then put in that cabin when they thought they were sharing.

If a refund is possible, I'd let the sister have it as she had to stay in a room on her own without a window. You weren't inconvenienced in anyway so don't understand why you would want a share of any potential refund. You got more than what you paid for, a room with one other instead of two.

You're unreasonable to cut her out of your life if she doesn't.

Callistemon213

She may not get a refund, of course. It's a hypothetical question.

As you obviously do not get on with your sister and are resentful of her, why do you go on holiday with her?
Holidays are meant to be enjoyable experiences.

Exactly my thought~~~

I still don't understand why a refund is expected. As I understand it, a shared 3 berth cabin with porthole was booked, and the cost was per person for triple occupancy
of that one cabin. Presumably the 3 berth cabin wasn't acceptable as it had a double and a single bed rather than 3 single beds. A complaint was made and Cruise ship offered an ex gratia single berth inside cabin to resolve the issue, and did not charge extra for the twin occupancy of the 3 berth cabin .

Surely having an extra separate cabin for sole occupancy would add to the original cost, albeit to the cabin rate for the extra would be less due to it's less favourable outlook.

Let your sister make a claim and don't let it bother you whatever the outcome. It sounds like you had a bit more space in the triple cabin if she was not using it.. .

Two's company three's a crowd. Don't fall out with your sister, she was the one inconvenienced

I would let your sister win the battle - but loose the war - if she gets refund and of course it’s a big if, then let her keep it and don’t bring the subject up again - either to her or the other friend.

But start putting some distance in the overall relationship with your sister - don’t consider holidaying with her again - if she asks to come and stay then find some reason to say ‘sorry, not convenient’ she has a way of causing you anguish and you can avoid all that frustration by removing yourself from this perceived ‘sisterly friendship’.

Personally I think the sister got the better part of the deal. She didn’t have to share her space with anyone. Realistically, how much time do you spend in your cabin on a cruise anyway?

As a person with no siblings I imagine I would not want to fall out permanently with one. I would similarly be devastated if my two (very different) daughters fell out with one another over a couple of hundred quid (which may or may not appear).

I imagine the original cabin had an "overhead bunk" which was not easy to access. You were lucky there was another cabin free. I do not suffer from claustrophobia and know lots of people who book inside cabins quite happily so personally see no issue with that. And has someone said, the sister's cabin was "better" for being a single and "worse" cos of no view, so all in all not really an issue.