Feeling mugged off but do I have the right to?

I’m feeling so sorry for that puppy.

Hope you are ok

So sorry to hear that.
We are afraid to say no to looking after our two very bouncy granddaughters age 3 and 9-who should know better by now but winds her sister up!
We are grateful that our daughter does help us out when she can but son in law is useless!
But you do need to consider your own health both physical and mental-well that’s what people keep telling me. 😉

Feel for you.
Is it too late for a compromise? Could they find a puppy minder or is it old enough to go to doggy daycare? Presumably they’ll have to make arrangements for its care during term time.
Hang on in there.
Sending you a hug 🤗

HowNowBrownCow - I don't think it will be lost.
It will bounce back in a little while.

My son and daughter-in-law wanted us to look after their first born so they could work. We said no.
It wasn't a good feeling for a week or two but was quickly over.
🍀

Of course they aren’t pleased that you said no. Coming out of the blue, their first reaction would be upset and anger. Did you emphasise your health issues when you spoke to them? I hope you did. But once they have got over the initial shock, I expect they will come round. After all, if nothing else, they have learned a lesson and will not take you for granted again. Good for you, standing up for yourself.

I have my two grandchildren a lot and I love it, but only over my house, I would feel uncomfortable and bored over my daughters as her house is like something out of a magazine and I would be afraid I would tip something, and at least you can potter around in your house.
But a puppy would be the final straw for me as they are hard work, and like you I have a lot of physical problems
Do you think that they took it for granted that you would say yes, having the puppy at this time is a bit silly so why didn’t they wait.
My grandchildren go to a holiday club a lot in the summer holidays as both parents are working, maybe they could have booked them into one of those

100% taking the piss and also animal welfare issues. Who in God’s earth buys a puppy when they are starting back to work full time?

This makes me so angry. Selfish, entitled and over indulged. Tell them no to the puppy and ask why they are acquiring one when they work full time? Grrr!!

And a new puppy too! No it won’t sleep a lot it’s a puppy and they need and like attention just like babies, but unlike small babies they can get under you feet and perhaps cause falls. They are both teachers and thus earn a good wage each and can afford to pay for child care for five days preferably at a nursery where they would have other children to socialise with

Hygiene issues too as puppies wee everywhere to begin with.

Who's going to clean it up and house train it? I'd be asking them where they're going to send the puppy to train it? Puppies need a lot of input, it's like a baby. They can not be serious! It's cruel to the puppy and unfair on you.

Sorry you're going through this

Firstly, I feel sure they know about your health issues so shouldn't really have asked. Tell them you can do 2 days and they will have to book them into holiday club for the rest. As for puppy, why would they get a puppy just as term is about to start? Poor thing.
Also, I just want to ask if anyone here remembers me? I used to be a regular gran here but, although I still read I, for a number of tech reasons haven't been able to comment. Back now and so hoping some longer serving grans remember me.

Good grief! Absolutely agree with all previous comments.

My DD3 is a registered dog walker/sitter and sometimes has a dog to stay at her house instead of house sitting too. Worth suggesting this as new puppy is probably too young for day care. I’m sure that can be achieved on a teacher’s salary

Firstly why on earth did they get a puppy when they knew you would be struggling just with the children.
Secondly a puppy needs a lot of attention 24 hours a day. How are they going to do that when they are both teachers . Would have been much better to have got it at the beginning g of the six weeks Sumner holidays.

Oh Lord. That's awful. It's so hard to maintain good relationships but at the same time look out for your own well being. I think they should have planned for this in advance. Now I would tell them that you really don't feel up to it and the puppy would be way too much. If you do it they must delay the puppy by a week and get in extra help for you. Please stand up for yourself. I don't think this is at all fair. Good luck.

Just say no- or say you can do 2 days with the kids but they will have to get a minder or friends for other 3 days- and definitely no to the puppy!- they can surely ask the person theyre getting it from to keep it a bit longer- or ask a friend to take it- they must have known in advance about their work dates (thats why in laws craftily booked a holiday!) as they were told by daughter in advance! And it sounds like the sudden puppy idea is a bribe for the kids to make up for them not being there.(so are the parents back home at end of each of these five days then?or are they fully away?(i would be suspicious its a little jaunt away for them also, not work?) Otherwise they could have known ahead and got a puppy earlier or later in the year.Just say definitely no to the puppy and a lot less days with the kids as you cant manage all week, and you dont need any 'bombshells' at your time of life thank you very much.

If they both work how are they going to manage each day leavìng a puppy (then a dog,as it grows) alone each day, all day? Thats just cruel to poor thing.Would have at least been better with a cat, who like times alone and would probably not be bothered being alone all day so long as had food, water & litter tray.

Poo and wee central at their house.
I suppose the cleaner will take care of it but....

Who's going to walk it?
How are it's emotional needs going to be met?
When are they going to find time to train it?

Just reading all these comments again and I'm very surprised a breeder is allowing one of their puppies to go to a home with both adults out at work all day. As others have said, when term begins for the children who will care for this poor puppy?

They are being very inconsiderate. Puppies are a full time job, never mind the grandchildren. They are certainly taking the piss!

Please read the thread Gransnetters.
The OP has already been back.

Good for you, BrownCow.
Do not give in; they have had plenty of time to make arrangements, but like cobblers' children being the worst shod teachers, while devoted to the 'kids' in their class, are frequently neglectful of their own children.

Unfortunately, when we're young and fairly robust we can't always project ourselves forward to a time in the future when we won't feel like that. I think your son and daughter in law are being very hard on you, not understanding your point of view. Particularly as regards to the puppy, there isn't one response here, given your health issues, doesn't think that's a step too far. They aren't thinking about your welfare in that respect.

I hope the situation resolves itself, but given your palpable anxiety, I think you had to make this stand.

I too have major health issues and my husband looks after me he has his own health issues too and this is where my central observation lies; you know how much recovery it takes you after a hard day sleep is absolutely essential also your husband will be carrying you during that time sleep is essential for him. All children act up at some point especially when they get bored and a new puppy in the house is exhausting sleepless nights cleaning up etc.then up for breakfast with children cooking lunch and dinner. I know it’s difficult and you don’t want to let your daughter and Sil down but this time it’s a flat no ! “we are not well enough to do this”. Think about the strain on your husband think about the hard recovery days it’s actually completely irresponsible of your Dd and Sil that they asked irresponsible and completely selfish. As others have commented they are both teachers they can afford help you need to put yourself and your husband first it’s not being selfish it’s being practical, please find the courage to find your voice and say no.

Sorry I meant Ds and Dil

I can't believe the request came by text! Such a big ask needs a proper conversation.
My DS and DiL live 200 miles from me and I have done a few days childcare this year for the first time so obviously had to go to stay. GD was at childminder as usual but GSs nursery closed early so they needed 3 days cover until DS finished work - he works away part of the week. I was happy to do it and managed to have some one to one time with GS as a result. When I go to stay I often take their dog out in the morning to take the pressure off, and it's good for me to have the walk, but I'd draw the line at a new puppy!