For context son and his wife are both teachers who go back to school before their own children do. We got a text asking us to babysit from 2nd to 6th September, 5 full days in their home as they have with each house move gone further away from us. They now live over 25 miles away. I live with a spinal cord injury, I have constant pain, mornings are particularly awful, and I struggle with day to day living, my husband helps with a lot that I used to manage alone. Our son and wife knows this, always say “ I hate to ask….” “The in laws can’t do these or those days” The in laws are away on holiday the whole week this time, hence the whole week request. Initially my husband said to me that we shouldn’t do it because of the effects looking after a 4 and 6 year old has upon us (husband has his own health issues) and generally we are more comfortable in our own home because of the adaptations etc. I said that we probably have no choice because there is no one else to have them so husband reluctantly came around to the idea. It isn’t practical for the kids to be ferried to and from our home daily and we don’t have room for them to stay. I spoke to our son saying that we would have the kids when he said “ oh and another bombshell is that we’re getting a puppy this Friday” we’re hoping she’ll sleep a lot for you and that you’ll only have to let her out occasionally!
I felt completely blindsided by this, made an excuse that I had to go and said nothing to address it. Is it just me that thinks they’re taking the piss? Will I be justified after this round not to go again?
Gosh a puppy added to an already busy household with both parents working. They are worse than 2 toddlers put together. Not ideal with a bad back. No would be my answer far to much to ask of you both.
Not a chance of what you suggest in most educational establishments. Told to make arrangements and they should have,well in advance! Very selfish of them. I would insist they bring children to my home and pick them up each day. As for the puppy totally irresponsible of them.
They are being massively irresponsible getting a new puppy when they are just about to go back to work all day !!! I fear this puppy will be in a rescue or worse in a couple of months because they have no time to look after it properly or train it.
Also they are completely 'extracting the urine' to expect you to look after both kids and a new puppy when you have health issues that require adaptations.
Just say no or compromise to a day or two of looking after the kids but they need to sort some day care for the puppy.
HowNowBrownCow hopefully after a few days of puppy 'accidents' they'll realise they were asking too much of you.
Fingers crossed the puppy is healthy as the breeder obviously wasn't looking for the best home for it.
Teachers work such long hours that they already don't have enough time for their own kids and adding a puppy on top is irresponsible, I agree. They already can't meet their own kids needs because they're overwhelmed caring for everyone elses and now a puppy is going to be neglected. Great work guys.
Getting a puppy when they are both working every day? Where does poor puppy go during the work hours?
While an adult dog may stay home while the owner works, you can't leave a puppy on it's own for that long.
I predict a disaster ahead.
Anyway, can't puppy go to puppy day care during the days you look after the children. It should not be that difficult to organize.
I suppose they will pay for the puppy to be walked and for Doggy Day Care.
You are indeed in a difficult situation, HowNowBrownCow and I completely agree with those who say that you are being taken for granted and being asked to do something quite unreasonable. I hope that you have managed to say no, firmly.
Please come back and tell us how you have got on. 
I'm with MOnica on this.
I’m assuming the children are not starting back until some point during that week. So….I would say that you or your husband have been really struggling with ‘x’ recently so you’re happy to care for the children during their holiday days at your house. Explain why ie the adaptations. Then they can find alternatives for the days when the children are back at school where they can perhaps drop and collect when their schedule allows. The children must have friends who can help. The puppy is a crazy idea because once that week is over if everyone is out of the house, who is supervising its loo needs and possibly mealtimes? I know it’s so hard to refuse andI think the more we agree to the more some people ask. You’re offering a good compromise-and perhaps quite telling that the other parents have found a good reason to say no!
MissInterpreted
MissAdventure
If I was the puppy breeder, absolutely no way would I allow a tiny puppy to go to people who are planning to work immediately.
No, neither would I. Although it could be that the parents have been, shall we say, 'economical with the truth' about what their home situation will be once the puppy arrives...
It is totally irresponsible of them to get a puppy when they are both going to be at work all day, or it'll be palmed off on doggy daycare - that's ok but are they expecting doggy daycare to do all it's training? Poor little thing; no socialisation or training, and yet they've had all summer off?? Any responsible breeder wouldn't sell the puppy to them, it's not fair.
If you have to look after the children then they need bringing and collecting, but NO puppy, that really is taking the piss, and there'll be a lot of it you'd have to clean up!
Just say no, it's too much for us and don't do a U turn.
Your son and his wife say "we hate to ask" but they still have asked. It is irresponsible of them expecting you and your husband to care and entertain two young children aged 6 and half and 3 and half as you both have debilitating health problems I know the pain of long term back problems myself and as you say mornings can be difficult to get moving after a nights rest. Also how will you manage in your sons house without the adaptions you use daily in your own home? This will impact on your own health and probably set you back or make you unwell. Looking after a puppy at the same time is asking for trouble it all spells disaster. Speak to your son and change plans offer to help with some of the arrangements but do not take on everything.
This thread has really, really annoyed me.
The pure selfishness!!!
Please do start taking some control back, op.
How about looking for a holiday home or Airbnb for you while looking after the children. It would save on travel for you and give you somewhere to retreat to as soon as the parents arrive home. We did this when DD was moving it was such a relief to retreat to calm and start the day in our own way.
But it’s a definite NO to the puppy. Even more reason to have a retreat! The breeder was happy to have my friend’s puppy back for a week to cover a holiday.
Good luck making your DS aware that you won’t be manipulated.
Both of them are teachers !! Surely there are 'kids clubs' at local schools they'd know about. If not - their salaries should cover babysitters, child care, holiday camps etc.
The inlaws were wise and booked to be away on holiday smart thinking. A puppy, hard work constant weeing just as hard as a baby could the puppy not stay with its mum a few days longer. Grandparents nowadays are taken for granted I often see weary looking grannys out walking babies in my area.
Totally agree! Don’t get hijacked by emotional blackmail.
Look after yourselves. It’s difficult and you’ll be put on the guilt trip.
My heart goes out to you, kids are a worry at all ages
I've worked in a school for 30 years and have never known teachers have to go in for 5 days before the children start, unless they're in different parts of the UK. With the health issues you both have I'd say I can come for two days but more than that is too draining for us and definitely no puppy. As others have said why on earth have a puppy immediately before you go back to work all day. Who's going to let the poor thing in and out all day?
11unicorn
Getting a puppy when they are both working every day? Where does poor puppy go during the work hours?
While an adult dog may stay home while the owner works, you can't leave a puppy on it's own for that long.
I predict a disaster ahead.
Anyway, can't puppy go to puppy day care during the days you look after the children. It should not be that difficult to organize.
If it's young will it be ready for this? Vaccination and socialisation wise?
I wouldn't leave an adult dog home alone all day.
It's bloody selfish.
If people want pets, they have to accommodate their needs.
A puppy can't mix until it has had it's vaccinations.
vegansrock
This is just too much. 5 days in a row. I’d say yes to one day, then they’ll have to take a couple of days off work each or pay someone. The in laws chose the right week to go away! Tell them now so they’ve got a couple of weeks to sort it out.
Trachers cannot just each take a couple of days off, you know. Term starts for them a week before the children come back, and you have simply got to be at school that week.
That said, they have known since the school holiday started that the last week the children were not at school would be a problem.
They have also known far longer than that, that you and your husband have your own poor health to contend with.
Phone them up and say that your back is so bad that you frankly cannot either manage the journey, nor a week in their house looking after the children, much as you love them all, and that whatever your husband suffers from is giving him heck too.
The last week of the school holiday is not the right time to get a puppy, and of course she will not sleep all the time - you with your bad back will be mopping up puddles, non-stop.
Unfortunately, they will be offended, but quite honestly they have a nerve. And next school holiday, you and DH are away from home too (whether you are or not) the other set of grandparents assuredly have the right idea.
As they are both working - what us goibg to happen to the puppy every day when they are at work? Hopefully it isn't going to be left in it's own with no company and no-one to carry out the house training!! They sound very unthinking people.
As others have said, they absolutely need to tell their puppy breeder that they need to delay, taking the pup for a week. Responsible breeder will always want to make sure that the puppy is going into the right setting at the right time.
Everyone here saying, just put them into a club or get a childminder will not have tried to do this short notice - it will be virtually impossible now. I don’t know how they find themselves in this situation either because they must’ve known about it for weeks, but as my husband always says ‘we are where we are’.
I wonder if it might be possible to find a university student or similar person who can come in the daytime, under your supervision, to help out with practical tasks, take the kids out to the park, etc. is there someone in your friends and family circle who might be able to do this?
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